'/2-^-<^^. 


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By 

THE    UNIVERSITY    SOCIETY 


COLLEGE 
UBRARy 


PR 


THE 
MERRY  WIVES  OF  WINDSOR. 

Preface. 


A 


1   ^ 


The  Editions.  The  earliest  known  edition  of  The 
Merry  Wives  of  Windsor  is  a  Quarto  printed  in  1602 
with  the  following  title-page  : — 

"  A  most  pleasuant  and  excellent  conceited  Comedie,  of 
Sir  lohn  Falstaffe  and  the  merrie  Wiues  of  Windsor. 
Entermixed  with  sundrie  variable  and  pleasing  humours 
of  Sir  Hugh  the  Welch  Knight,  lustice  Shalloix',  and  his 
wise  Cousin  M.  Slender.  With  the  swaggering  vaine  of 
Auncient  Pistoll,  and  Corporall  Nym,  By  William 
Shakespeare.  As  it  hath  bene  diuers  times  Acted  by  the 
right  Honorable  my  Lord  Chamberlaines  Seruants.  Both 
before  her  Maiestie,  and  elsewhere.  London  Printed  by 
T.  C.  for  Arthur  lohnson,  and  are  to  be  sold  at  his  shop 
in  Powles  Churchyard,  at  the  signe  of  the  Flower  de 
Leuse  and  the  Crowne ''  (reprinted  in  the  Cambridge 
Shakespeare  and  in  Hazlitt's  Shakespeare's  Library ;  a 
facsimile  is  included  in  Dr.  Fumival's  Shakespeare  Quar- 
tos, Quaritch).  A  second  Quarto,  a  mere  reprint  of  the 
first,  appeared  in  1619. 

In  the  first  Folio  the  play  occupies  pp.  39-60;  its  length 
there  is  more  than  double  that  of  the  Quartos,  from  which 
it  differs  to  such  an  extent  as  to  give  the  impression  of 
being  a  revised  and  expanded  version  of  a  mere  garbled 
and  pirated  sketch. 

Date  of  Composition.  The  first  Quarto  was  entered 
in  the  Stationers'  Registers  under  date  i8th  Jan.   1602; 


Preface  MERRY  WIVES 

the  play  was  probably  written  after  Henry  V.,  i.e.  after 
the  middle  of  the  year  1599.  In  the  epilogue  to  2  Henry 
IV.  a  promise  had  been  given  to  continue  the  story  with 
Sir  John  in  it;  this  promise  was  not  kept  in  Henry  V.; 
and  "  The  Merry  Wives,"  according  to  a  well  authenti- 
cated tradition,  was  composed  by  command  of  the  Queen, 
"  who  obliged  Shakespeare  to  write  a  Play  of  Sir  John 
Falstaff  in  Love,  and  which  I  am  very  well  assured  he 
performed  in  a  fortnight:  a  prodigious  thing  when  all  is 
well  contrived,  and  carried  on  without  the  least  con- 
fusion"  (Gildon,  1710;  Dennis  first  mentions  the  tra- 
dition in  1702;   cp.  title-page  of  1602  edition). 

The  date  of  the  first  composition  of  the  play  may  with 
certainty  be  placed  at  about  1600  (probably  Christmas, 
1599).* 

An  old  tradition  identifies  Justice  Shallow  with  Shake- 
speare's old  enemy,  Sir  Thomas  Lucy  (of  the  deer-poach- 
ing story) ;  Lucy  died  in  July,  1600,  and  it  is  held  by  some 
that  the  Poet  would  not  have  waited  ''  till  his  butt  was  in 
the  grave  before  he  aimed  his  shafts  at  him."  At  the 
same  time  it  is  noteworthy  that  the  ''  dozen  white  luces  " 
is  only  found  in  the  Folio,  not*  in  the  Quarto  editions. 
The  question  at  issue,  on  which  scholars  are  divided,  is 
whether  the  Quarto  represents  a  pirated  edition  of  an 
early  sketch  of  the  play,  revised  and  enlarged  in  the  first 
Folio  version,  or  whether  both  versions  are  to  be  referred 
back  to  the  same  original.  In  support  of  the  former 
theory  it  is  alleged  that  the  substitution  of  "  King  "  in  the 
Folio  (I.  i.  112)  for  "council"  of  the  Quarto,  the  pos- 
sible reference  to  the  cheapening  of  knighthood  ("  These 
knights  will  hack,"  II.  i.  52),  and  similar  internal  evi- 
dence, point  to  the  reign  of  James  I. ;  these  scholars  there- 

*  Shakespeare  acted  in  Every  Man  in  His  Humour  in  1598,  and 
the  two  plays  have  much  in  common  (cp.  e.g.  Ford  and  Kitely; 
Nym's  reiteration  of  'humour/  etc.). 

In  the  Return  from  Parnassus,  acted  at  Cambridge,  probably 
Christmas,  1601,  the  French  Doctor  is  obviously  an  imitation  of 
Dr.  Caius. 


OF  WINDSOR  Preface 

fore  date  the  Folio  version  about  1605.  On  the  other 
hand,  Mr.  Daniel  (Introduction  to  his  editions)  maintains 
that  "  the  character  of  the  publishers  of  the  Quarto,  its 
proved  omissions,  its  recomposed  passages  (i.e.  pas- 
sages actually  the  work,  not  of  Shakespeare,  but  of  the 
note-taker),  its  retention  of  (essential)  passages  omitted 
in  the  Folio,  the  complication  in  both  of  the  time-plot 
lead  almost  inevitably  to  the  conclusion  that 
there  was  but  one  original  for  both  Quarto  and  Folio." 
He  points  out  further  that  the  alleged  internal  evidence 
of  later  revision  is  of  little  real  value,  but  it  is  somewhat 
difficult  to  get  rid  of  these  minutiae,  and  some  slight  re- 
vision after  1603  is  not  inconsistent  with  this  latter  theory. 

The  Sources.  This  comedy  of  contemporary  man- 
ners probably  owed  very  little  to  older  plays  or  novels,  but 
it  contains  incidents  not  uncommon  in  Italian  and  other 
stories.  In  the  following  tales  a  suspicious  husband  is 
baffled  much  in  the  same  way  as  Master  Ford : — ( i)  The 
tale  from  //  Pecorone  di  Ser  Giovanni  Fiorentino  ',  (2) 
The  old  English  version  of  this  story  in  The  Fortunate, 
the  Deceived,  and  the  Unfortunate  Lovers,  1632,  reprinted 
in  1685 ;  (3)  The  Tale  in  Straparola  similar  to  that  in  // 
Pecorone;  (4)  The  Tales  of  the  Two  Lovers  of  Pisa, 
from  Tarlton's  Nezves  out  of  Pergatorie,  1590;  (5)  The 
second  tale  from  Straparola,  in  which  the  youth  makes 
love  to  three  ladies  at  once  (cp.  Hazlitt's  Shakespeare's 
Library,  Part  I.  vol.  iii.). 

Heme.  It  would  seem  that  there  existed  in  Shake- 
speare's day  a  tradition  at  Windsor  that  Heme  was  one 
of  the  keepers  of  the  Park,  who,  having  committed  an 
offence  for  which  he  feared  to  be  disgraced,  hung  himself 
upon  an  oak,  which  was  ever  afterwards  haunted  by  his 
ghost. 

The  difference  between  the  Quarto  and  Folio  reference 
to  the  story  is  noteworthy;  the  former  reads: — 

"  Oft  have  you  heard  since  Home  the  hunter  dyed    .     .    ." 

3 


Preface  MERRY  WIVES 

The  Folio  makes  the  tale  a  more  ancient  one  (cp.  IV.  iv. 

36-38). 

The  earliest  notice  of  ''  Heme's  oak  "  is  in  a  "  Plan  of 
the  Town  and  Castle  of  Windsor  and  Little  Park  "  (Eton, 
1742);  in  a  map  a  tree  marked  ''  Sir  John  Falstaff's  oak  " 
is  represented  as  being  on  the  edge  of  a  pit  just  on  the 
outside  of  an  avenue  which  was  formed  in  the  seventeenth 
century,  and  known  as  Queen  Elizabeth's  Walk.  Halli- 
well  first  printed,  in  his  edition  of  the  Quarto,  a  set  of 
verses  ''  Upon  Heme's  Oak  being  cut  down  in  the  spring 
of  1796."  Antiquarian  research  has  demonstrated  the 
exactness  of  Shakespeare's  knowledge  of  Old  Windsor 
(cp.  Tighe  and  Davis'  Annals  of  Windsor,  Vol.  i.  pp. 
673-686). 

Duration  of  Action.  As  the  play  stands  in  the  Quar- 
tos and  Folios  it  is  impossible  to  arrange  the  time  con- 
sistently, owing  to  the  confusion  as  regards  Falstaff's  in- 
terviews with  the  Merry  Wives  in  Act  HI.  Scene  v. ;  the 
errors  are  probably  due  to  compression  of  the  play  for 
stage  purposes.  The  first  part  of  the  scene,  according  to 
Mr.  Daniel  {Transactions  of  New  Shakespeare  Society, 
1878-9),  is  inseparably  connected  with  the  day  of  Fal- 
staff's  first  interview  with  Mrs  Ford ;  the  second  part  is 
as  inseparably  connected  with  the  day  of  the  second  inter- 
view. The  first  part  clearly  shows  us  Falstaff  in  the 
afternoon,  just  escaped  from  his  ducking  in  the  Thames; 
the  second  part  as  clearly  shows  him  in  the  early  morning 
about  to  keep  his  second  appointment  with  Mrs  Ford. 
He  proposes  to  make  Ford's  portion  of  the  scene  com- 
mence the  4th  Act,  changing  good  morrow  into  good  even 
(Act  HI.  V.  28)  and  this  morning  into  to-morrow  morn- 
ing (Act  HI.  V.  46).  According  to  this  arrangement  the 
following  time  analysis  would  result: — Day  i.  Act  I.  Sc. 
i.  to  iv. ;  Day  2,  Act  H.  Sc.  i.  to  iii..  Act  HI.  Sc.  i.  to  iv., 
and  the  Quickly  portion  of  Sc.  v. ;  Day  3,  the  Ford  por- 
tion of  Act  in.  Sc.  V.  to  the  end  of  the  play. 

If  this  suggestion  is  carried  out,  a  further  change  is 


OF  WINDSOR 


Preface 


necessary  in  Act  V.  i.  14,  where  this  mornini 
read  in  place  of  yesterday. 


should  be 


Time  of  Action.  Though  the  play  was  in  all  proba- 
bility composed  after  Henry  V.,  the  action  may  be  sup- 
posed to  take  place  after  the  events  recorded  at  the  end 
of  2  Henry  IV.;  the  further  degradation  of  the  charac- 
ter of  Falstaff  in  The  Merry  Wives  belongs  to  the  early 
years  of  "  the  madcap  prince's  "  reign,  when  he  had  al- 
ready renounced  "  the  tutor  and  the  feeder  of  his  riot." 
The  characters  intimately  associated  with  Falstaff  were 
transferred  with  him  from  2  Henry  IV.,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  *  Nym,'  who  appears  for  the  first  time  in  Henry 
v.;  Shallow's  '  cousin,'  Slender,  of  The  Merry  Wives, 
takes  the  place  of  '  Silence '  of  2  Henry  IV. ;  Mrs 
Quickly  is  identical  only  in  name  with  the  Hostess 
Quickly  of  i,  2  Henry  IV.  and  Henry  V. 


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_^^ 

1 

U_j_Lj^JL- 

Windsor  in  1607,  showing  Garter  Inn. 
From  Norden's  bird's  eye  view  of  Windsor  (1607) 


MERRY  WIVES 


Critical  Comments. 


Argument. 

I,  Sir  John  Falstaff  has  forsaken  the  warHke  pursuits 
famihar  to  his  friend  Prince  Hal,  afterwards  Henry  V.  of 
England,  and  is  now  devoted  to  the  peaceful  occupations 
of  poaching  and  love-making,  though  not  neglecting  the 
drinking-cups  of  the  tavern.  Two  women  of  Windsor, 
Mistress  Ford  and  Alistress  Page,  engage  his  attention 
at  the  same  time;  and  he  resolves  to  lay  siege  to  their 
affections,  notwithstanding  both  are  married. 

Mistress  Page's  daughter  Anne  is  sought  in  marriage 
by  Slender — largely  through  his  friends ;  by  Hugh 
Evans,  a  Welsh  curate  and  schoolmaster;  by  Dr.  Caius, 
a  French  physician;  and  by  Fenton,  a  courtier. 

II,  Mistress  Page  and  Mistress  Ford  each  receive  a 
love-letter  from  Falstaff,  and  upon  comparing  their  mis- 
sives they  find  them  almost  identical.  Being  women  of 
w4t  as  well  as  of  virtue,  they  agree  to  work  together  to- 
w^ards  humiliating  the  knight  for  his  presumption.  Mis- 
tress Ford  makes  an  appointment  with  him.  His  serv- 
ants inform  the  husbands  of  the  two  women.  Ford,  under 
an  assumed  name,  meets  Falstaff  and,  pretending  to  be  a 
suitor  also  for  Alistress  Ford,  w^orms  from  the  boastful 
Falstaff  the  secret  of  his  appointment  with  her. 

III,  Falstaff  is  punctual  to  his  meeting  w^ith  IMistress 
Ford.  But  before  he  arrives,  she  and  Mistress  Page  pre- 
pare a  large  basket  c^  soiled  linen  in  which  Falstaff  is  to 
be  conveyed  to  the  river,  under  the  pretense  that  this  is 
the  only  way  he  can  escape  from  the  house.     The  pre- 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

I 
tense  turns  to  reality  when  Ford  actually  arrives.  And 
the  ruse  of  the  clothes-basket  deceives  both  gallant  and 
husband.  Falstaff  is  dumped  into  the  Thames,  whence 
he  emerges  much  bedraggled,  but  with  ardor  so  slightly 
quenched  as  to  become  enkindled  again  upon  receipt  of  a 
message  from  Mistress  Ford  granting  him  a  second  in- 
terview. Nor  has  he  gained  discretion  from  his  first  mis- 
hap, for  he  unwittingly  informs  Ford  of  this  rendezvous 
also,  and  of  the  means  whereby  he  escaped  his  former 
predicament.  The  thoroughly  aroused  husband  redoubles 
his  vigilance. 

IV.  Falstaff  keeps  his  second  appointment  with  Mis- 
tress Ford.  Her  husband  again  surprises  them.  The 
clothes-basket  is  sent  down  as  before;  and  while  Ford  is 
ransacking  it  under  the  firm  belief  that  it  again  conceals 
Falstaff,  the  latter  is  dressed  in  woman's  clothes  and 
escapes  thus  disguised,  though  not  avoiding  sundry  blows 
from  the  irate  husband.  Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress 
Page  then  tell  their  husbands  the  truth  about  the  Falstaff 
episodes.  The  men  are  delighted  to  find  their  wives 
faithful,  and  the  four  conjointly  arrange  a  third  and  final 
hoax  which  contemplates  a  night  meeting  in  Windsor 
Park. 

Meanwhile  Anne  Page's  love-affairs  are  becoming 
tangled.  She  loves  Fenton.  Her  father  has  chosen 
Slender.  Her  mother  privately  favors  Dr.  Caius.  When 
the  third  prank  on  Falstaff  is  prepared,  Anne  and  her 
parents  make  conflicting  plans  to  utilize  the  meeting  for 
bringing  their  separate  matrimonial  schemes  to  a  head. 

V.  Falstaff  is  persuaded  to  go  to  Windsor  Park, 
wearing  a  buck's  head.  Anne  Page  and  her  friends  im- 
personate fairies  and  burn  him  with  tapers.  Ford,  Page, 
and  their  wives  reveal  themselves  to  him,  reproach  him 
for  his  attempted  villainy,  and  finally  pardon  him.  The 
wretched  Falstaff  finds  his  only  satisfaction  in  hearing 
that  Anne  Page  has  m.arried  Fenton,  despite  the  counter- 
schemes  of  her  father  and  mother. 

McSpadden  :  Shakespearian  Synopses. 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

II. 
The  Request  of  Queen  Elizabeth. 

Old  Queen  Bess  can  scarcely  have  been  a  great  judge  of 
art,  or  she  would  not  have  conceived  the  extravagant  no- 
tion of  wanting  to  see  Falstaff  in  love;  she  would  have 
understood  that  if  there  was  anything  impossible  to  him  it 
was  this.  She  would  also  have  realized  that  his  figure 
was  already  a  rounded  whole  and  could  not  be  repro- 
duced. It  is  true  that  in  the  Epilogue  to  Henry  IV, 
(which,  however,  is  probably  not  by  Shakespeare)  a  con- 
tinuation of  the  history  is  promised,  in  which,  "  for  any- 
thing I  know,  Falstaff  shall  die  of  a  sweat,  unless  already 
he  be  killed  with  your  hard  opinions ;  "  but  no  such  con- 
tinuation is  to  be  found  in  Henry  F.,  evidently  because 
Shakespeare  felt  that  Falstaff  had  played  out  his  part. 
Neither  is  The  Merry  Wives  the  promised  continuation, 
for  Falstaff  does  not  die,  and  the  action  is  conceived  as 
an  earlier  episode  in  his  life,  though  it  is  entirely  removed 
from  its  historical  setting  and  brought  forward  into  the 
Poet's  own  time,  so  unequivocally  that  there  is  even  in 
the  fifth  Act  a  direct  mention  of  "  our  radiant  queen  "  in 
Windsor  Castle. 

The  Poet  must  have  set  himself  unwillingly  to  the  ful- 
filment of  the  "  radiant  queen's "  barbarous  wish,  and 
tried  to  make  the  best  of  a  bad  business.  He  was  com- 
pelled entirely  to  ruin  his  inimitable  Falstaff,  and  degrade 
the  fat  knight  into  an  ordinary  avaricious,  wine-bibbing, 
amatory  old  fool.  Along  with  him,  he  resuscitated  the 
whole  merry  company  from  Henry  V.,  who  had  all  come 
to  an  unpleasant  end — Bardolph,  Pistol,  Nym,  and  Dame 
Quicklv — making  the  men  repeat  themselves  with  a  dif- 
ference, endowing  Pistol  with  the  splendid  phrase  "  The 
world  's  mine  oyster,  which  I  with  sword  will  open,"  and 
giving  to  Dame  Quickly  softened  and  more  common- 
place lineaments.  From  the  Second  Part  of  Henry  IV., 
too,  he  introduces  Justice  Shallow,  placing  him  in  a  less 

8 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

friendly  relation  to  Falstaff,  and  giving  him  a  highly 
comic  nephew,  Slender,  who,  in  his  vanity  and  pitifulness, 
is  like  a  first  sketch  for  Sir  Andrew  Aguecheek  in  Twelfth 
Night. 

^  Brandes:  William  Shakespeare. 


III. 

Delineation  of  the  Play. 

The  principal  action  of  this  comedy — the  adventures  of 
Falstaff  with  the  Merry  Wives — sweeps  on  with  a  rapid- 
ity of  movement  which  hurries  us  forward  to  the  de- 
nouement as  irresistibly  as  if  the  actors  were  under  the 
influence  of  that  destiny  which  belongs  to  the  empire  of 
tragedy.  No  reverses,  no  disgraces,  can  save  Falstaff 
from  his  final  humiliation.  The  net  is  around  him,  but 
he  does  not  see  the  meshes ;  he  fancies  himself  the  de- 
ceiver, but  he  is  the  deceived.  He  will  stare  Ford  "  out  of 
his  wits,"  he  will  "  awe  him  with  his  cudgel,"  yet  he 
lives  "  to  be  carried  in  a  basket  like  a  barrow  of  butcher's 
offal,  and  to  be  thrown  into  the  Thames."  But  his  con- 
fidence is  undaunted :  ''  I  will  be  thrown  into  Etna,  as  I 
have  been  into  the  Thames,  ere  I  will  leave  her  "  ;  yet 
"  since  I  plucked  geese,  played  truant,  and  whipped  top,  J 
knew  not  what  it  was  to  be  beaten  till  lately."  Lastly,  he 
will  rush  upon  a  third  adventure  :  "  This  is  the  third  time, 
I  hope  good  luck  lies  in  odd  numbers  "  ;  yet  his  good 
luck  ends  in  "  I  do  begin  to  perceive  that  I  am  made  an 
ass."  The  real  jealousy  of  Ford  most  skilfully  helps  on 
the  merry  devices  of  his  wife ;  and  with  equal  skill  does 
the  Poet  make  him  throw  away  his  jealousy,  and  assist 
in  the  last  plot  against  the  "  unclean  knight."  The  mis- 
adventures of  Falstaff  are  most  agreeably  varied.  The 
disguise  of  the  old  woman  of  Brentford  puts  him  alto- 
gether in  a  different  situation  from  his  suffocation  in  the 
buck  basket;  and  the  fairy  machinery  of  Heme's  Oak  car- 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

ries  the  catastrophe  out  of  the  region  of  comedy  into  that 
of  romance. 

The  movement  of  the  principal  action  is  beautifully 
contrasted  with  the  occasional  repose  of  the  other  scenes. 
The  Windsor  of  the  time  of  Elizabeth  is  presented  to  us, 
as  the  quiet  country  town,  sleeping  under  the  shadow 
of  its  neighbour  the  castle.  Amidst  its  gabled  houses, 
separated  by  pretty  gardens,  from  which  the  elm  and  the 
chestnut  and  the  lime  throw  their  branches  across  the 
unpaved  road,  we  find  a  goodly  company,  with  little  to  do 
but  gossip  and  laugh,  and  make  sport  out  of  each  other's 
cholers  and  weaknesses.  We  see  Master  Page  training 
his  ''  fallow  greyhound  " ;  and  we  go  with  Master  Ford 
"  a-birding."  We  listen  to  the  ''  pribbles  and  prabbles  " 
of  Sir  Hugh  Evans  and  Justice  Shallow,  with  a  quiet 
satisfaction ;  for  they  talk  as  unartificial  men  ordinarily 
talk,  without  much  wisdom,  but  with  good  temper  and 
sincerity.  We  find  ourselves  in  the  days  of  ancient  hos- 
pitality, when  men  could  make  their  fellows  welcome 
without  ostentatious  display,  and  half  a  dozen  neighbours 
''  could  drink  down  all  unkindness  "  over  "  a  hot  venison 
pasty."  The  more  busy  inhabitants  of  the  town  have  time 
to  tattle,  and  to  laugh,  and  be  laughed  at.  Mine  Host  of 
the  Garter  is  the  prince  of  hosts;  he  is  the  very  soul  of  fun 
and  good  temper ;  he  is  not  solicitous  whether  Falstaff  sit 
"  at  ten  pounds  a  week  "  or  at  two ;  he  readily  takes  ''  the 
withered  serving  man  for  a  fresh  tapster  "  ;  his  confidence 
in  his  own  cleverness  is  delicious — "  am  I  politic,  am  I 
subtle,  am  I  a  Machiavel  ?  " — the  Germans  "  shall  have 
my  horses,  but  I  '11  make  them  pay,  I  '11  sauce  them." 
When  he  loses  his  horses,  and  his  "  mind  is  heavy,"  we 
rejoice  that  Fenton  will  give  him  "  a  hundred  pound  in 
gold  "  more  than  his  loss.  His  contrivances  to  manage 
the  fray  between  the  furious  French  doctor  and  the  honest 
Welsh  parson  are  productive  of  the  happiest  situations. 
Knight  :  Pictorial  Shakspere. 


10 


OF  WINDSOR  Commenis 

IV. 

Falstaff  Out  of  His  Sphere. 

The  truth  is,  Falstaff  is  plainly  out  of  his  sphere ;  and 
he  shows  a  sad  want  of  his  usual  sagacity  and  good 
sense  in  getting  into  it — in  supposing  for  a  moment  that 
he  could  inspire  such  a  passion  in  such  a  place :  nor  does 
it  seem  probable  that  the  Poet  would  have  exhibited  him 
thus,  but  that  he  were  moved  thereto  by  somewhat  else 
than  the  native  promptings  of  his  genius.  For  of  love  in 
any  right  or  respectable  sense  Sir  John  is  essentially  in- 
capable ;  and  to  represent  him  otherwise,  had  been  to 
contradict,  not  carry  out,  his  character.  Shakespeare 
doubtless  understood  this  ;  and,  being  thus  reduced  to  the 
alternative  of  committing  a  gross  breach  of  decorum  or 
of  making  the  hero  unsuccessful,  the  moral  sanity  of  his 
genius  left  him  no  choice.  Accordingly  Sir  John  is  here 
conspicuous  not  so  much  for  what  he  practises  as  for  what 
is  practised  upon  him ;  he  being,  in  fact,  the  dupe  and 
victim  of  his  own  heroism,  and  provoking  laughter  more 
by  that  he  suffers  than  by  that  he  does.  So  that  the  in- 
ternal evidence  of  the  play  strongly  favours  the  tradition 
of  the  Queen's  requesting  to  see  Falstaff  in  love ;  as  such 
request  affords  the  only  clear  solution  of  the  Poet's  repre- 
senting one  who  was  plainly  a  favourite  with  him  in  so 
unsuitable  a  quality.  For,  if  we  may  believe  Hazlitt, 
"  wits  and  philosophers  seldom  shine  in  that  character  " ; 
and,  whether  this  be  true  or  not,  it  is  certain  that  "  Sir 
John  by  no  means  comes  off  with  flying  colours." 

But  Falstaff,  notwithstanding  these  drawbacks,  is  still 
so  far  himself  that  "  naught  but  himself  can  be  his  con- 
queror." If  he  be  overmatched,  it  is  not  so  much  by  the 
strength  or  skill  of  his  antagonists,  as  from  his  being 
persuaded,  seemingly  against  his  will  and  for  the  pleas- 
ure of  others,  into  a  line  of  adventure  where  he  is  not 
qualified  to  thrive.  His  incomparable  art  of  turning  ad- 
versities into  commodities;  the  good-humoured  strategy 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

whereby  he  manages  to  divert  off  all  unpleasant  feeling 
of  his  vices  and  frailties ;  the  marvellous  agiHty  and  apt- 
ness of  which,  w^ith  a  vesture  of  odd  and  whimsical  con- 
structions, at  once  hides  the  offensive  and  discovers  the 
comical  features  of  his  conduct ;  the  same  towering  impu- 
dence and  sublime  effrontery,  which  so  lift  him  aloft  in 
his  subsequent  exploits ;  and  the  overpowering  eloquence 
of  exaggeration,  with  which  he  delights  to  set  off  and 
heighten  whatsoever  is  most  ludicrous  in  his  own  person 
or  situation ; — all  these  qualities,  though  not  in  their  full 
bloom  and  vigour,  are  here  to  be  seen  in  triumphant  exer- 
cise. 

Upon  the  whole,  however,  this  bringing  forth  of  Sir 
John  more  for  exposure  than  for  exhibition  is  not  alto- 
gether grateful  to  those  whom  he  has  so  often  convulsed 
into  health :  though  he  still  gives  us  wholesome  shakings, 
we  feel  that  it  costs  him  too  much :  the  rare  exhilaration 
he  affords  us  elsewhere,  and  even  here,  invests  him  with 
a  sort  of  humorous  reverence ;  insomuch  that  we  can 
hardly  help  pitying  while  we  approve  his  merited,  yet 
scarcely  merited,  shames  and  failures;  and  we  would  fain 
make  out  some  excuse  for  him  on  the  score  of  these  slips* 
occurring  earlier  in  his  life,  when  experience  had  not  yet 
disciplined  away  the  natural  vanity  which  may  some- 
times lead  a  man  of  genius  to  fancy  himself  the  object  of 
the  tender  passion.  And  in  like  manner  we  are  apt  to 
apologize  for  the  Poet's  exposure  of  his  and  our  favour- 
ite, on  the  ground  that,  being  to  represent  him  in  an  en- 
terprise where  he  could  not  deserve  success,  nor  even 
work  for  it  but  by  knavery,  he  was  under  a  strong  moral 
necessity  of  causing  him  not  only  to  be  thwarted,  but  to 
become  the  laughing-stock  of  those  who  thwart  him,  and, 
which  is  especially  galling  to  one  so  wit-proud  as  Sir 
John,  "  to  stand  at  the  taunt  of  one  that  makes  fritters  of 
English."  And  we  are  the  more  disposed  to  leniency  to- 
wards Falstaff  amid  his  unparalleled  swampings,  foras- 
much as  his  merry  persecutors  are  but  a  sort  of  decorous, 
respectable,  commonplace  people,  who  borrow  their  chief 

12 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

importance  from  the  victim  of  their  mischievous  sport; 
and  if  they  are  not  so  bad  as  to  make  us  wish  him  suc- 
cess, neither  are  they  so  good  that  we  hke  to  see  them 
grow  at  his  expense. 

Hudson  :  The  M^orks  of  Shakespeare. 


V. 

Analysis  of  Falstaffs  Character. 

Two  features  strike  us  at  a  glance  as  being  clear  and 
prominent  in  Falstaff's  character ;  on  the  one  hand,  his 
great  wealth  of  wit,  his  inexhaustible  store  of  happy 
devices,  plots  and  pranks,  and  the  indestructibility  of  his 
good  humour ;  on  the  other  hand,  his  equally  great  amount 
of  sensuality,  love  of  pleasure,  and  excessive  carnal  lusts. 
The  point  de  vue  of  his  life,  and  the  centre  upon  which 
all  his  aims  and  actions  turn,  is,  that  his  wit,  his  inventive 
talents,  and  his  shrewdness  shall  in  all  cases  furnish  him 
with  the  means  of  gratifying  his  sensual  desires,  and 
protect  him  in  case  of  need.  Enjoyments  of  every  de- 
scription he  must  have;  and  it  is  only  a  good  joke,  a 
successful  piece  of  mischief — to  him  the  greatest  of  all 
enjoyments — that  he  thinks  even  more  attractive  than  a 
glass  of  sack  and  the  charms  of  Dolly  Tear-sheet.  Fal- 
staff  is  the  most  consummate  epicurean,  in  the  form  of  a 
knight  of  Shakspeare's  day  but — owing  to  a  halo  of  in- 
genious and  irresistible  wit,  and  an  ideal  mental  freedom, 
which  humorously  disregard  all  difficulties,  and  even  the 
whole  seriousness  of  life — an  epicurean  who  appears  to  a 
certain  extent  spiritualised,  sublimated  into  a  sort  of 
poetical  ideal,  which  raises  him  far  above  the  usual  run 
of  common  rakes,  and  prevents  moral  indignation  from 
casting  its  judgement  upon  him.  Falstaff  does  not  pos- 
sess any  great  passions,  because  to  gratify  them  would 
cost  him  too  much  trouble,  and  afford  an  indeed  great, 

13  . 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

but  after  all  only  a  passing  enjoyment.  He  has  also 
nothing  in  common  with  actual  wickedness  and  gross 
crimes  and  vices,  because  the  former  undermine  their  own 
enjoyment,  and  also  because  they  are  inseparably  con- 
nected with  hate;  moreover,  great  crimes  are  accom- 
plished only  with  trouble  and  exertion,  and  are  always 
followed  by  a  dread  of  punishment ;  gross  vices,  lastly, 
necessarily  blunt  and  deaden  the  sense  of  enjoyment. 
Neither  is  he  at  all  jealous  or  envious — for  envy  is  its 
own  tormentor — he  is  more  inclined  to  be  glad  to  see 
others  enjoying  themselves,  and  even  helps  his  boon  com- 
panions in  attaining  their  desires,  as  long  as  these  do  not 
cause  himself  any  inconvenience  or  annoyance.  But  as 
regards  the  lesser  sins,  such  as  bragging,  lying  and  de- 
ceiving, he  is  not  over-particular,  and  has  even  no  great 
objections  to  a  little  thieving,  wdien  it  can  be  done  easily, 
and  especially  when  connected  with  some  good  joke.  He 
trusts  to  his  wit  to  save  him  from  any  unpleasant  conse- 
quences of  such  bagatelles ;  such  things  he  considers  nat- 
ural and  unavoidable  because  he  cannot  find  any  enjoy- 
ment or  procure  the  means  of  any  enjoyment  without 
them.  If  this  were  possible  he  would  rather  not  be  guilty 
of  a  single  transgression,  except  as  a  joke,  and  even 
,  though  not  altogether  good  and  virtuous,  still  he  would 
like — without  a  struggle,  however — to  be  upright  and 
honest.  It  is  true  he  likes  virtue  even  less  than  vice,  be- 
cause it  demands  a  greater  amount  of  energy,  and,  worst 
of  all,  self-denial  and  self-control.  He  does  not  believe  in 
virtue ;  he  thinks  it  a  delusive  piece  of  sophistry,  a  mere 
illusion  to  suppose  that  any  one  should  give  up  enjoyment 
and  pleasure  against  the  instincts  of  nature,  in  order  to 
obtain  so-called  true  happiness.  To  him,  therefore,  vir- 
tue, like  honour,  is  a  mere  '  word,'  a  thing  that  no  one 
possesses,  that  has  '  no  skill  in  surgery,'  but  at  most  is 
an  honour  to  the  dead  who  are  insensible  to  it ;  hence  a 
mere  '  scutcheon,'  so  '  he  '11  none  of  it.'  And  yet,  at  the 
same  time,  he  knows  very  well  that  he  must  appear  to 
possess ,  certain   virtues   such   as   bravery,   honesty,    and 

14 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

above  all  things  honour  and  authority;  for  without  the 
appearance  of  these  he  would  find  it  impossible  to  live. 
Ulrici  :  Shaksp care's  Dramatic  Art, 


VI. 
Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress  Page. 

A  certain  tendency  to  tameness  in  the  husbands  is  cor- 
rected by  the  briskness  of  the  merry  wives,  who  engross  a 
large  proportion  of  what  cleverness  falls  in  distribution. 
Still  it  is  remarkable  in  a  play  where  the  distinctions  of 
character  are  so  sharply  marked,  that  there  is  little  hint  of 
any  subjective  difference  between  the  pair;  and  this  draw- 
back on  their  originality,  keeps  them  in  harmony  with 
their  sober  environments.  We  can  scarcely  think  of  them 
otherwise  than  as  dressed  exactly  alike,  and  Falstaff  had 
some  excuse  for  thinking  that  a  love-letter  that  would 
suit  one  scarcely  required  variation  for  the  other. 

The  Windsor  wives  are  merry,  and  at  times  free  spoken 
enough,  but  this  is  only  when  they  "  laugh  alone,"  for  the 
audience  counts  for  nothing,  and  that  some  liberality  in 
phrase  is  no  impeachment  of  their  honesty  is  the  very 
point  that  protects  them  from  the  dulness  of  demure  pro- 
priety, which  would  so  easily  lose  them  the  sympathy  of  a 
theatrical  audience,  which  has  little  tolerance  for  the  most 
respectable  virtue  when  it  ignores  the  humanity  of  liveli- 
ness and  animal  spirits.  And  this  is  the  very  moral  that 
the  sober-sided  Ford,  who  could  so  little  understand  his 
wife's  love  of  her  lively  neighbour's  company,  or  the 
feminine  necessity  for  change  of  scene  and  lively  diver- 
sion, has  to  learn  for  his  own  advantage,  and  the  advan- 
tage and  amusement  of  lookers  on. 

Lloyd  :  Critical  Essays  on  the  Plays  of  Shakespeare. 


15 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

VII. 

Ford  and  Page. 

That  jealous-pate,  Ford,  ought  to  have  been  sure  of  his 
wife's  integrity  and  goodness,  from  her  being  so  trans- 
parent-charactered and  cheerful ;  for  your  insincere  and 
double-dealing  people  are  sure  to  betray,  some  time  or 
other,  the  drag  that  dishonesty  claps  upon  the  wheel  of 
their  conduct.  The  career  of  a  deceitful  person  is  never 
uniform.  In  the  sequel,  however,  Ford  does  make  a 
handsome  atonement — that  of  a  frank  apology  to  the 
party  whom  he  had  abused  by  his  suspicions ;  and  he 
winds  up  the  play  with  the  rest,  not  the  least  happy  of  the 
group  from  having  an  enfranchised  heart.     He  says  well : 

"  Pardon  me,  wife.    Henceforth  do  what  thou  wilt. 
I  rather  will  suspect  the  sun  with  cold 
Than  thee  with  wantonness.    Now  doth  thy  honour  stand, 
In  him  that  was  of  late  a  heretic, 
As  firm  as  faith."    .... 

Then,  there  is  Page,  the  very  personification  of  hearty 
English  hospitality.  You  feel  the  tight  grasp  of  his  hand, 
and  see  the  honest  sparkle  of  his  eye,  as  he  leads  in  the 
wranglers  with,  "  Come,  gentlemen,  I  hope  we  shall  drink 
down  all  unkindness.-"  If  I  were  required  to  point  to  the 
portrait  of  a  genuine,  indigenous  Englishman,  through- 
out the  whole  of  the  works  of  Shakespeare,  Page  would 
be  the  man.  Every  thought  of  his  heart,  every  motion  of 
his  body,  appears  to  be  the  result  of  pure  instinct ;  he  has 
nothing  exotic  or  artificial  about  him.  He  possesses 
strong  yeoman  sense,  an  unmistakable  speech,  a  trusting 
nature,  and  a  fearless  deportment;  and  these  are  the 
characteristics  of  a  true  Englishman.  He  is  to  be  gulled 
— no  man  more  so ;  and  he  is  gulled  every  day  in  the 
year — no  proof,  you  will  say,  of  his  "  strong  yeoman 
sense  " ;  but  an  Englishman  is  quite  as  frequently  gulled 

i6 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

with  his  eyes  open  as  when  they  are  hoodwinked.     He 
has  a  conceit  in  being  indifferent  to  chicanery.     He  con- 
fides in  his  own  strength  when  it  behooves  him  to  exert 
it;   and  then  he  abates  the  nuisance. 
Charles  Cowden  Clarke:  Shakespeare  Characters. 

VIII. 

Slender. 

After  Falstaff  there  is  not  a  greater  piece  of  work  in 
the  play  than  Master  Abraham  Slender,  cousin  to  Robert 
Shallow  Esquire, — a  dainty  sprout,  or  rather  sapling,  of 
provincial  gentry,  who,  once  seen,  is  never  to  be  forgot- 
ten. In  his  consequential  verdancy,  his  aristocratic 
official  boobyism,  and  his  lean-witted,  lack-brain  original- 
ity, this  pithless  hereditary  squireling  is  altogether  inimi- 
table, whose  manners  and  character  must  needs  be  all 
from  within,  because  he  lacks  force  of  nature  enough  to 
shape  or  dress  himself  by  any  model.  Mr.  Hallam,  whose 
judgement  in  such  things  is  not  often  at  fault,  thinks 
Slender  was  intended  as  "  a  satire  on  the  brilliant  youth 
of  the  provinces,"  such  as  they  were  *'  before  the  intro- 
duction of  newspapers  and  turnpike  roads ;  awkward  and 
boobyish  among  civil  people,  but  at  home  in  rude  sports, 
and  proud  of  exploits  at  which  the  town  would  laugh, 
yet  perhaps  with  more  courage  and  good-nature  than  the 
laughers." 

Hudson  :  The  Works  of  Shakespeare. 

IX. 
Mistress  QuicKly. 

Although  a  "  subordinate  character,"  how  very  impor- 
tant a  person  in  this  play  is  Mistress  Quickly,  the  house- 
keeper to  Doctor  Caius ;  or,  as  Sir  Hugh  designates  her, 

17 


Comments  MERRY  WIVES 

"  his  nurse,  or  his  dry-nurse,  or  his  cook,  or  his  laundry, 
his  washer,  or  his  wringer !  "  What  a  perfect  specimen 
she  is  of  a  fussy,  busy-bodying  old  woman !  "  That  fool- 
ish carrion,  Mrs.  Quickly,"  as  Mrs.  Page  calls  her;  ma- 
king herself  necessary  to  all,  by  reason  of  her  fussiness; 
and  conspicuous,  by  reason  of  her  folly.  A  large  family 
— the  race  of  the  Quicklies !  Our  Airs.  Quickly,  the  type 
of  the  whole  breed,  meddles  and  "  trepots  "  in  every  one's 
affairs :  with  the  seriousness  and  sincere  dealing  of  a 
diplomatist,  she  acts  the  go-between  for  Falstaff  with  the 
two  merry  wives ;  she  courts  Anne  Page  for  her  master, 
undertaking  the  same  office  for  Slender.  She  favours  the 
suit  of  Fenton ;  and  if  the  Welsh  parson  had  turned  an 
eye  of  favour  upon  the  yeoman's  pretty  daughter,  she 
would  have  played  the  hymeneal  Hebe  to  him  too.  Her 
whole  character  for  mere  busy-bodying,  and  not  from 
any  active  kindness  of  heart — for  they  who  are  sweet  to 
all  alike  have  no  principle  worth  a  button — her  whole 
character  is  comprised  in  that  one  little  speech  in  the 
4th  scene  of  the  3d  act,  when  Fenton  gives  her  the  ring 
for  his  "  sweet  Nan."     After  he  has  gone  out,  she  says  : 

"Now  heaven  send  thee  good  fortune!  [She  would  have  ut- 
tered the  same  benediction  for  Slender.]  A  kind  heart  he  hath ;  a 
woman  would  run  through  fire  and  water  for  such  a  kind  heart. 
But  yet,  I  would  my  master  had  Mistress  Anne ;  or  I  would 
Master  Slender  had  her ;  or,  in  sooth,  I  would  Master  Fenton 
had  her.  I  will  do  what  I  can  for  them  all  three:  for  so  I  have 
promised,  and  I  will  be  as  good  as  my  word ;  but  speciously  for 
Master  Fenton." 

He  was  the  last  applicant  to,  and  had  paid  her. 
Charles  Cowden  Clarke:  Shakespeare  Characters, 

X. 

"Sweet  Anne  Page." 

Anne  Page  is  but  an  average  specimen  of  discreet, 
placid,  innocent  mediocrity,  yet  with  a  mind  of  her  own, 

18 


OF  WINDSOR  Comments 

in  whom  we  can  feel  no  such  interest  as  a  rich  father 
causes  to  be  felt  by  those  about  her.  In  her  and  Fenton 
a  slight  dash  of  romance  is  given  to  the  play ;  their  love 
forming  a  barely  audible  undertone  of  poetry  in  the  grand 
chorus  of  comicalities,  as  if  on  purpose  that  while  the 
sides  are  shaken  the  heart  may  not  be  left  altogether  un- 
touched. 

Hudson  :  The  Works  of  Shakespeare. 


We  do  not  wish  Anne  Page  to  have  been  married  to 
Slender,  but  in  their  poetical  alliance  they  are  inseparable. 
With  regard  to  the  under-plot  of  Fenton  and 
Anne  Page — the  scheme  of  Page  to  marry  her  to  Slender 
— the  counter-plot  of  her  mother,  ''  firm  for  Doctor 
Caius  " — and  the  management  of  the  lovers  to  obtain  a 
triumph  out  of  the  devices  against  them — it  may  be 
sufficient  to  point  out  how  skilfully  it  is  interwoven  with 
the  Heme's  Oak  adventure  of  Falstaff.  Though  Slender 
"  went  to  her  in  white,  and  cried  mum,  and  she  cried 
budget,  .  .  .  yet  it  was  not  Anne,  but  a  postmas- 
ter's boy";  though  Caius  did  "take  her  in  green,"  he 
"  ha'  married  un  gargon,  a  boy,  un  paisan  ";  but  Anne  and 
Fenton — 

"  long  since  contracted, 
Are  now  so  sure,  that  nothing  can  dissolve  them." 

Knight:  Pictorial  Shakspere. 


19 


THE 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor. 


DRAMATIS   PERSONAE. 

Sir  John  Falstaff. 

Fenton^  a  gentleman. 

Shallow,  a  country  justice. 

Slender,  cousin  to  Shallow. 

Ford,  ~) 

p         >•  two  gentlemen  dwelling  at  Windsor. 

William  Page,  a  boy,  son  to  Page. 

Sir  Hugh  Evans,  a  Welsh  parson. 

Doctor  Caius,  a  French  physician. 

Host  of  the  Garter  Inn. 

Bardolph,  \ 

Pistol,         v  sharpers  attending  on  Falstaff. 

Nym,  ) 

Robin,  page  to  Falstaff. 

Simple,  servant  to  Slender. 

Rugby,  servant  to  Doctor  Caius. 

Mistress  Ford. 

Mistress  Page. 

Anne  Page,  her  daughter. 

Mistress  Quickly,  servant  to  Doctor  Caius. 

Servants  to  Page,  Ford,  etc. 

Scene:  W^indsor  and  the  neighbourhood. 


22 


THE 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor. 

ACT  FIRST. 

Scene  I. 

Windsor.     Before  Pages  House. 
Enter  Justice  Shallow,  Slender,  and  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Shal.  Sir  Hugh,  persuade  me  not;  I  will  make  a 
Star-chamber  matter  of  it:  if  he  were  twenty 
Sir  John  Falstaf^s,  he  shall  not  abuse  Robert 
Shallow,  esquire. 

Slen.  In  the  county  of  Gloucester,  justice  of  peace 
and  '  Coram.' 

Shal.  Ay,  cousin  Slender,  and  '  Custalorum.' 

Slen.  Ay,  and  '  Rato-lorum '  too ;    and  a  gentleman 
born,  master  parson;    who  writes  himself  *  Ar- 
migero,'  in  any  bill,  warrant,  quittance,  or  obli-     lo 
gation,  '  Armigero.' 

Shal.  Ay,  that  I  do;  and  have  done  any  time  these 
three  hundred  years. 

Slen.  All  his  successors  gone  before  him  hath 
done't;  and  all  his  ancestors  that  come  after 
him  may:  they  may  give  the  dozen  white  luces 
in  their  coat. 

Shal.  It  is  an  old  coat. 

Evans.  The  dozen  white  louses  do  become  an  old 

23 


Act  1.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

coat  well;  it  agrees  well,  passant;  it  is  a  famil-     20 
iar  beast  to  man,  and  signifies  love. 

Shal^The  luce  is  the  fresh  fish;  the  salt  fish  is  an 
old  coat. 

Slen.  I  may  quarter,  coz. 

Shal.  You  may,  by  marrying. 

Evans.  It  is  marring  indeed,  if  he  quarter  it. 

Shal.  Not  a  whit. 

Evans.  Yes,  py  'r  lady ;  if  he  has  a  quarter  of  your 
coat,  there  is  but  three  skirts  for  yourself,  in  my 
simple  conjectures:  but  that  is  all  one.  If  Sir  30 
John  Falstafif  have  committed  disparagements 
unto  you,  I  am  of  the  church,  and  will  be  glad 
to  do  my  benevolence  to  make  atonements  and 
compremises  between  you. 

Shal.  The  council  shall  hear  it;  it  is  a  riot. 

Evans.  It  is  not  meet  the  council  hear  a  riot;  there 
is  no  fear  of  Got  in  a  riot:  the  council,  look 
you,  shall  desire  to  hear  the  fear  of  Got,  and 
not  to  hear  a  riot;  take  your  vizaments  in  that. 

Shal.  Ha!     o'  my  life,  if  I  were  young  again,  the     40 
sword  should  end  it. 

Evans.  It  is  petter  that  friends  is  the  sword,  and 
end  it:  and  there  is  also  another  device  in  my 
prain,  which  peradventure  prings  goot  discre- 
tions with  it: — there  is  Anne  Page,  which  is 
daughter  to  Master  George  Page,  which  is 
pretty  virginity. 

Slen.  Mistress  Anne  Page?  She  has  brown  hair, 
and  speaks  small  like  a  woman. 

Evans.  It  is  that  fery  person  for  all  the  orld,  as  just     50 
as  you  will  desire;   and  seven  hundred  pounds 

24 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  i. 

of  moneys,  and  gold  and  silver,  Is  her  grandsire 
upon  his  death's-bed  (Got  deliver  to  a  joyful 
resurrections!)  give,  when  she  is  able  to  over- 
take seventeen  years  old:  it  were  a  goot  motion 
if  we  leave  our  pribbles  and  prabbles,  and  de- 
sire a  marriage  between  Master  Abraham  and 
Mistress  Anne  Page. 

Slen,  Did  her  grandsire  leave  her  seven  hundred 

pound?  60 

Evans.  Ay,  and  her  father  is  make  her  a  petter 
penny. 

Slen.  I  know  the  young  gentlewoman;  she  has  good 
gifts. 

Evans.  Seven  hundred  pounds  and  possibilities  is 
goot  gifts, 

Shal.  Well,  let  us  see  honest  Master  Page.  Is  Fal- 
staff  there? 

Evans.  Shall  I  tell  you  a  lie?     I  do  despise  a  liar 

as  I  do  despise  one  that  is  false,  or  as  I  despise  70 
one  that  is  not  true.  The  knight,  Sir  John,  is 
there;  and,  I  beseech  you,  be  ruled  by  your 
well-willers.  I  will  peat  the  door  for  Master 
Page.  [Knocks]  What,  hoa!  Got  pless  your 
house  here! 

Page,  [Within']   Who  's  there? 

Enter  Page. 

Evans.  Here  Is  Got's  plessing,  and  your  friend,  and 
Justice  Shallow;  and  here  young  Master  Slen- 
der, that  peradventures  shall  tell  you  another 
tale,  if  matters  grow  to  your  likings. 

Page.  I  am  glad  to  see  your  worships  well.     I  thank     80 
you  for  my  venison,  Master  Shallow. 

25 


Act  I.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Shal.  Master  Page,  I  am  glad  to  see  you:  much 
good  do  it  your  good  heart!  I  wished  your 
venison  better;  it  was  ill  killed.  How  doth 
good  Mistress  Page? — and  I  thank  you  always 
with  my  heart,  la !   with  my  heart. 

Page.  Sir,  I  thank  you. 

Shal.  Sir,  I  thank  you;  by  yea  and  no,  I  do. 

Page.  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  good  Master  Slender. 

Slen.  How    does    your    fallow    greyhound,    sir?     I     90 
heard  say  he  was  outrun  on  Cotsall. 

Page.  It  could  not  be  judged,  sir. 

Slen.  You  '11  not  confess,  you  '11  not  confess. 

Shal.  That  he  will  not.  'Tis  your  fault,  'tis  your 
fault;   'tis  a  good  dog. 

Page.  A  cur,  sir. 

Shal.  Sir,  he  's  a  good  dog,  and  a  fair  dog:  can  there 
be  more  said?  he  is  good  and  fair.  Is  Sir  John 
Falstaff  here? 

Page.  Sir,  he  is  within;    and  I  would  I  could  do  a  100 
good  office  between  you. 

Evans.  It  is  spoke  as  a  Christians  ought  to  speak. 

Shal.  He  hath  wronged  me.  Master  Page. 

Page.  Sir,  he  doth  in  some  sort  confess  it. 

Shal.  If  it  be  confessed,  it  is  not  redressed:  is  not 
that  so.  Master  Page?  He  hath  wronged  me; 
indeed  he  hath;  at  a  word,  he  hath,  believe  me: 
Robert  Shallow,  esquire,  saith,  he  is  wronged. 

Page.  Here  comes  Sir  John. 

Enter  Sir  John  Fahtaff,  Bardolph,  Nym,  and  Pistol. 

Fal.  Now,  Master  Shallow,  you  '11  complain  of  me  to  IIO 
the  king? 

26 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  i. 

Shal.  Knight,  you  have  beaten  my  men,  killed  my 
deer,  and  broke  open  my  lodge. 

Fal.  But  not  kissed  your  keeper's  daughter? 

Shal.  Tut,  a  pin!   this  shall  be  answered. 

Fal.  I  will  answer  it  straight;   I  have  done  all  this. 
That  is  now  answered. 

Shal.  The  council  shall  know  this. 

Fal.  'Twere   better   for   you   if   it   were   known   in 

counsel:   you'll  be  laughed  at.  120 

Evans.  Pauca  verba.  Sir  John;  goot  worts. 

Fal.  Good  worts !  good  cabbage.  Slender,  I  broke 
your  head:  what  matter  have  you  against  me? 

Slen.  Marry,  sir,  I  have  matter  in  my  head  against 
you;  and  against  your  cony-catching  rascals, 
Bardolph,  Nym,  and  Pistol. 

Bard.  You  Banbury  cheese! 

Slcn.  Ay,  it  is  no  matter. 

Pist.  How  now,  Mephostophilus! 

Slcn.  Ay,  it  is  no  matter.  130 

Nym.  Slice,  I  say!  pauca,  pauca:  slice!  that's  my 
humour. 

Slen.  Where's  Simple,  my  man?  Can  you  tell, 
cousin? 

Evans.  Peace,  I  pray  you.  Now  let  us  understand. 
There  is  three  umpires  in  this  matter,  as  I  un- 
derstand; that  is.  Master  Page,  fideUcet  Master 
Page;  and  there  is  myself,  fidelicet  myself;  and 
the  three  party  is,  lastly  and  finally,  mine  host 
of  the  Garter. 

Page.  We  three,  to  hear  it  and  end  it  between  them.   140 

Evans.  Fery  goot:    I  will  make  a  prief  of  it  in  my 
note-book;    and  we  will  afterwards  ork  upon 
the  cause  with  as  great  discreetly  as  we  can. 
27 


Act  I.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fal  Pistol! 

Pist.  He  hears  with  ears. 

Evans.  The  tevil  and  his  tarn!  what  phrase  is  this, 
'He  hears  with  ear'?  why,  it  is  affectations. 

Fal.  Pistol,  did  you  pick  Master  Slender's  purse? 

Slen.  Ay,  by  these  gloves,  did  he,  or  I  would  I  might 

never  come  in  mine  own  great  chamber  again  150 
else,  of  seven  groats  in  mill-sixpences,  and  two 
Edward  shovel-boards,  that  cost  me  two  shil- 
ling and  two  pence  a-piece  of  Yead  Miller,  by 
these  gloves. 

Fal.  Is  this  true,  Pistol? 

Evans.  No;   it  is  false,  if  it  is  a  pick-purse. 

Pist.  Ha,  thou  mountain-foreigner!     Sir  John  and 
master  mine, 
I  combat  challenge  of  this  latten  bilbo. 
Word  of  denial  in  thy  labras  here!  160 

Word  of  denial:  froth  and  scum,  thou  liest! 

Slen.  By  these  gloves,  then,  'twas  he. 

Nym.  Be  avised,  sir,  and  pass  good  humours:  I 
will  say  *  marry  trap '  with  you,  if  you  run  the 
nuthook's  humour  on  me;  that  is  the  very  note 
of  it. 

Slen.  By  this  hat,  then,  he  in  the  red  face  had  it; 
for  though  I  cannot  remember  what  I  did  when 
you  made  me  drunk,  yet  I  am  not  altogether  an 
ass.  170 

Fal.  What  say  you,  Scarlet  and  John? 

Bard.  Why,  sir,  for  my  part,  I  say  the  gentleman 
had  drunk  himself  out  of  his  five  sentences. 

Evans.  It  is  his  five  senses:  fie,  what  the  ignorance 
is! 

28 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  i. 

Bard.  And  being  fap,  sir,  was,  as  they  say,  cash- 
iered;  and  so  conclusions  passed  the  careires. 

Sleti.  Ay,  you  spake  in  Latin  then  too;  but  'tis  no 
matter:  I  '11  ne'er  be  drunk  whilst  I  live  again, 
but  in  honest,  civil,  godly  company,  for  this  i8o 
trick:  if  I  be  drunk,  I'll  be  drunk  with  those 
that  have  the  fear  of  God,  and  not  with  drunken 
knaves. 

Evans.  So  Got  udge  me,  that  is  a  virtuous  mind. 

Fal.  You  hear  all  these  matters  denied,  gentlemen; 
you  hear  it. 

Enter  Anne  Page,  with  wine;  Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress 
Page,  following. 

Page.  Nay,  daughter,  carry  the  wine  in ;  we  '11  drink 

within.  [Exit  Anne  Page. 

Slen.  O  heaven!   this  is  Mistress  Anne  Page. 

Page.  How  now.  Mistress  Ford !  190 

Fal.  Mistress  Ford,  by  my  troth,  you  are  very  well 

met:    by  your  leave,  good  mistress.         [Kisses  her. 

Page.  Wife,  bid  these  gentlemen  welcome.  Come, 
we  have  a  hot  venison  pasty  to  dinner:  come, 
gentlemen,  I  hope  we  shall  drink  down  all  un- 
kindness.      [Exeunt  all  except  ShaL,  Slen.,  and  Evans. 

Slen.  I  had  rather  than  forty  shillings  I  had  my 
Book  of  Songs  and  Sonnets  here. 

Enter  Simple. 

How  now.  Simple!    where  have  you  been?     I 
must  wait  on  myself,  must  I?     You  have  not  the  200 
Book  of  Riddles  about  you,  have  you? 
Sim.  Book  of  Riddles!   why,  did  you  not  lend  it  to 

29 


Act  I.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Alice  Shortcake  upon    All-hallowmas    last,   a 

fortnight  afore  Michaelmas? 
Shal.  Come,  coz;   come,  coz;   we  stay  for  you.     A 

word  with  you,  coz ;   marry,  this,  coz :   there  is, 

as  'twere,  a  tender,  a  kind  of  tender,  made  afar 

ofif  by   Sir   Hugh   here.     Do   you   understand 

me? 
Slen.  Ay,  sir,  you  shall  find  me  reasonable;   if  it  be  210 

so,  I  shall  do  that  that  is  reason. 
Shal.  Nay,  but  understand  me. 
Slen,  So  I  do,  sir. 
Evans.  Give  ear  to  his  motions,  Master  Slender:   I 

will  description  the  matter  to  you,  if  you  be 

capacity  of  it. 
Slen.  Nay,  I  will  do  as  my  cousin  Shallow  says:    I 

pray  you,  pardon  me;  he  's  a  justice  of  peace  in 

his  country,  simple  though  I  stand  here. 
Evans.  But  that  is  not  the  question:  the  question  is  220 

concerning  your  marriage. 
Shal.  Ay,  there  's  the  point,  sir. 
Evans.  Marry,  is  it ;  the  very  point  of  it ;  to  Mistress 

Anne  Page. 
Slen.  Why,  if  it  be  so,  I  will  marry  her  upon  any 

reasonable  demands. 
Evans.  But  can  you  affection  the  'oman?      Let  us 

command  to  know  that  of  your  mouth  or  of 

your  lips;  for  divers  philosophers  hold  that  the 

lips  is  parcel  of  the  mouth.     Therefore,  pre-  230 

cisely,  can  you  carry  your  good  will  to  the 

maid? 
Shal.  Cousin  Abraham  Slender,  can  you  love  her? 
Slen.  I  hope,  sir,  I  will  do  as  it  shall  become  one  that 

would  do  reason. 

30 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  i. 

Evans.  Nay,  Got's  lords  and  his  ladies!  you  must 
speak  possitable,  if  you  can  carry  her  your  de- 
sires towards  her. 

Shal.  That  you  must.  Will  you,  upon  good  dowry, 
marry  her? 

Slen.  I  will  do  a  greater  thing  than  that,  upon  your  240 
request,  cousin,  in  any  reason. 

Shal.  Nay,  conceive  me,  conceive  me,  sweet  coz: 
what  I  do  is  to  pleasure  you,  coz.  Can  you 
love  the  maid? 

Slen.  I  will  marry  her,  sir,  at  your  request:  but  if 
there  be  no  great  love  in  the  beginning,  yet 
heaven  may  decrease  it  upon  better  acquaint- 
ance, when  we  are  married  and  have  more  oc- 
casion to  know  one  another;  I  hope,  upon 
familiarity  will  grow  more  contempt:  but  if  you  250 
say  'Marry  her,'  I  will  marry  her;  that  I  am 
freely  dissolved,  and  dissolutely. 

Evans.  It  is  a  fery  discretion  answer;  save  the  fall  is 
in  the  ort  '  dissolutely ' :  the  ort  is,  according 
to  our  meaning,  '  resolutely  ' :  his  meaning  is 
good. 

Shal.  Ay,  I  think  my  cousin  meant  well. 

Slen.  Ay,  or  else  I  would  I  might  be  hanged,  la! 

Shal.  Here  comes  fair  Mistress  Anne. 

Re-enter  Anne  Page. 

Would  I  were  young  for  your  sake,  Mistress  260 

Anne! 
Anne.  The  dinner  is  on  the  table;   my  father  desires 

your  worships'  company. 
Shal.  I  will  wait  on  him,  fair  Mistress  Anne. 

31 


Act  I.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Evans.  Od's  plessed  will!    I  will  not  be  absence  at 

the  grace.  [Exeunt  Shallow  and  Evans. 

Anne.  Will 't  please  your  worship  to  come  in,  sir? 

Slen.  No,  I  thank  you,  forsooth,  heartily;  I  am  very 
well. 

Anne.  The  dinner  attends  you,  sir.  270 

Slen.  I  am  not  a-hungry,  I  thank  you,  forsooth. 
Go,  sirrah,  for  all  you  are  my  man,  go  wait 
upon  my  cousin  Shallow.  [Exit  Simple.~\  A 
justice  of  peace  sometime  may  be  beholding  to 
his  friend  for  a  man.  I  keep  but  three  men  and 
a  boy  yet,  till  my  mother  be  dead:  but  what 
though?  yet  I  live  like  a  poor  gentleman  born. 

Anne.  I  may  not  go  in  without  your  worship:  they 
will  not  sit  till  you  come. 

Slen.  V  faith,  I  '11  eat  nothing;  I  thank  you  as  much  280 
as  though  I  did. 

Anne.  I  pray  you,  sir,  walk  in. 

Slen.  I  had  rather  walk  here,  I  thank  you.  I  bruised 
my  shin  th'  other  day  with  playing  at  sword  and 
dagger  with  a  master  of  fence:  three  veneys  for 
a  dish  of  stewed  prunes;  and,  by  my  troth,  I 
cannot  abide  the  smell  of  hot  meat  since.  Why 
do  your  dogs  bark  so?  be  there  bears  i'  the 
town? 

Anne.  I  think  there  are,  sir;  I  heard  them  talked  of.  290 

Slen.  I  love  the  sport  well;  but  I  shall  as  soon 
quarrel  at  it  as  any  man  in  England.  You  are 
afraid,  if  you  see  the  bear  loose,  are  you  not? 

Anne.  Ay,  indeed,  sir. 

Slen.  That 's  meat  and  drink  to  me,  now.  I  have 
seen  Sackerson  loose  twenty  times,  and  have 

32 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  ii. 

taken  him  by  the  chain;  but,  I  warrant  you,  the 
women  have  so  cried  and  shrieked  at  it,  that  it 
passed:  but  women,  indeed,  cannot  abide  'em; 
they  are  very  ill-favoured  rough  things.  300 

Re-enter  Page. 

Page.  Come,  gentle  Master  Slender,  come;  we  stay 

for  you. 
Slen.  I  '11  eat  nothing,  I  thank  you,  sir. 
Page.  By  cock  and  pie,  you  shall  not  choose,  sir! 

come,  come. 
Slen.  Nay,  pray  you,  lead  the  way. 
Page.  Come  on,  sir. 

Slen.  Mistress  Anne,  yourself  shall  go  first. 
Anne.  Not  I,  sir;   pray  you,  keep  on. 
Slen.  Truly,  I  will  not  go  first;   truly,  la!   I  will  not  31c 

do  you  that  wrong. 
Anne.  I  pray  you,  sir. 
Slen.  I  '11  rather  be  unmannerly  than  troublesome. 

You  do  yourself  wrong,  indeed,  la!  [Exeunt. 

Scene  II. 

The  same. 
Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans  and  Simple. 

Evans,  Go  your  ways,  and  ask  of  Doctor  Caius' 
house  which  is  the  way:  and  there  dwells  one 
Mistress  Quickly,  which  is  in  the  manner  of  his 

*  nurse,  or  his  dry  nurse,  or  his  cook,  or  his  laun- 
dry, his  washer,  and  his  wringer. 

Sim.  Well,  sir. 

Evans.  Nay,  it  is  petter  yet.     Give  her  this  letter; 

Z3 


Act  I.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

for  it  Is  a  'oman  that  altogether 's  acquaint- 
ance with  Mistress  Anne  Page:  and  the  letter 
is,  to  desire  and  require  her  to  soHcit  your  mas-  lo 
ter's  desires  to  Mistress  Anne  Page.  I  pray 
you,  be  gone:  I  will  make  an  end  of  my  dinner; 
there  's  pippins  and  cheese  to  come.  [Exeunt. 

Scene  III. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn. 

Enter  Falstaif,  Host,  Bardolph,  Nym,  Pistol,  and  Robin. 

Fal.  Mine  host  of  the  Garter! 

Host.  What  says  my  bully-rook?    speak  scholarly 

and  wisely. 
Fal.  Truly,  mine  host,  I  must  turn  away  some  of  my 

followers. 
Host.  Discard,  bully  Hercules;    cashier:    let  them 

wag;   trot,  trot. 
Fal.  I  sit  at  ten  pounds  a  week. 
Host.  Thou  'rt    an    emperor,    Csesar,    Keisar,    and 

Pheezar.     I  will  entertain  Bardolph;    he  shall     lo 

draw,  he  shall  tap:   said  I  well,  bully  Hector? 
Fal.  Do  so,  good  mine  host. 
Host.  I  have  spoke;    let  him  follow.      [To  Bard.'] 

Let  me  see  thee  froth  and  lime:  I  am  at  a  word; 

follow.  [Exit. 

Fal.  Bardolph,   follow  him.     A  tapster  is  a   good 

trade:    an  old  cloak   makes   a   new  jerkin;    a 

withered    serving-man    a    fresh    tapster.      Go; 

adieu. 
Bard.  It  is  a  life  that  I  have  desired:   I  will  thrive.         20 

34 


OF  WINDSOR  .        Act  I.  Sc.  iii. 

Pist.  O  base  Hungarian  wight!   wilt  thou  the  spigot 

wield?  [Exit  Bardolph. 

Nym.  He  was  gotten  in  drink:  is  not  the  humour 
conceited? 

Fal.  I  am  glad  I  am  so  acquit  of  this  tinder-box: 
his  thefts  were  too  open;  his  filching  was  like 
an  unskilful  singer;   he  kept  not  time. 

Nym.  The  good  humour  is  to  steal  at  a  minute's 
rest. 

Pist.  'Convey,'  the  wise  it  call.     'Steal!'    foh!    a     30 
fico  for  the  phrase! 

Fal.  Well,  sirs,  I  am  almost  out  at  heels. 

Pist.  Why,  then,  let  kibes  ensue. 

Fal.  There  is  no  remedy;  I  must  cony-catch;  I 
must  shift. 

Pist.  Young  ravens  must  have  food. 

Fal.  Which  of  you  know  Ford  of  this  town? 

Pist.  I  ken  the  wight :   he  is  of  substance  good. 

Fal.  My   honest   lads,   I   will   tell   you   what   I   am 

about.  40 

Pist.  Two  yards,  and  more. 

Fal.  No  quips  now.  Pistol!  Indeed,  I  am  in  the 
waist  two  yards  about;  but  I  am  now  about  no 
waste;  I  am  about  thrift.  Briefly,  I  do  mean 
to  make  love  to  Ford's  wife:  I  spy  entertain- 
ment in  her;  she  discourses,  she  carves,  she 
gives  the  leer  of  invitation:  I  can  construe  the 
action  of  her  famiUar  style;  and  the  hardest 
voice  of  her  behaviour,  to  be  EngHshed  rightly, 
is,  '  I  am  Sir  John  Falstaff's.'  50 

Pist.  He  hath  studied  her  well,  and  translated  her 
will,  out  of  honesty  into  English. 

35 


Act  I.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Nym.  The  anchor  is  deep:  will  that  humour  pass? 
Fal.  Now,  the  report  goes  she  has  all  the  rule  of 

her    husband's    purse:    he    hath    a    legion    of 

angels. 
Pist.  As  many  devils  entertain;   and  'To  her,  boy/ 

say  I. 
Nym.  The  humour  rises;    it  is  good:    humour  me     60 

the  angels. 

Fal.  I  have  writ  me  here  a  letter  to  her:  and  here 
another  to  Page's  wife,  who  even  now  gave  me 
good  eyes  too,  examined  my  parts  with  most 
judicious  ceillades;  sometimes  the  beam  of  her 
view  gilded  my  foot,  sometimes  my  portly  belly. 

Pist.  Then  did  the  sun  on  dunghill  shine. 

Nym,  I  thank  thee  for  that  humour. 

Fal.  O,  she  did  so  course  o'er  my  exteriors  with 

such  a  greedy  intention,  that  the  appetite  of  her  70 
eye  did  seem  to  scorch  me  up  like  a  burning- 
glass!  Here  's  another  letter  to  her:  she  bears 
the  purse  too ;  she  is  a  region  in  Guiana,  all 
gold  and  bounty.  I  will  be  cheaters  to  them 
both,  and  they  shall  be  exchequers  to  me;  they 
shall  be  my  East  and  West  Indies,  and  I  will 
trade  to  them  both.  Go  bear  thou  this  letter  to 
Mistress  Page;  and  thou  this  to  Mistress  Ford: 
we  will  thrive,  lads,  we  will  thrive. 

Pist,  Shall  I  Sir  Pandarus  of  Troy  become,  80 

And  by  my  side  wear  steel?  then,  Lucifer  take 
all! 

Nym.  I  will  run  no  base  humour:  here,  take  the 
humour-letter:  I  will  keep  the  haviour  of  re- 
putation. 

36 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  iii. 

FaL   [To  Robin']   Hold,    sirrah,    bear   you    these   letters 
tightly; 
Sail  like  my  pinnace  to  these  golden  shores. 
Rogues,  hence,  avaunt!  vanish  like  hailstones,  go; 
Trudge,  plod  away  o'  the  hoof ;  seek  shelter,  pack ! 
Falstaff  will  learn  the  humour  of  the  age,  89 

French    thrift,    you    rogues;     myself    and    skirted 
page. 

{Exeunt  Falstaff  and  Robin. 
Pist.  Let  vultures  gripe  thy  guts!    for  gourd  and  fullam 
holds, 
And  high  and  low  beguiles  the  rich  and  poor: 
Tester  I  '11  have  in  pouch  when  thou  shalt  lack, 
Base  Phrygian  Turk! 
Nym.  I  have  operations  which  be  humours  of  revenge. 
Pist.  Wilt  thou  revenge? 
Nym.  By  welkin  and  her  star! 

Pist.  With  wit  or  steel?  lOO 

Nym.  With  both  the  humours,  I : 

I  will  discuss  the  humour  of  this  love  to  Page. 
Pist.  And  I  to  Ford  shall  eke  unfold 
How  Falstaff,  varlet  vile, 
His  dove  will  prove,  his  gold  will  hold, 
And  his  soft  couch  defile. 
Nym.  My  humour  shall  not  cool:    I  will  incense 
Page  to  deal  with  poison;    I  will  possess  him 
with  yellowness,  for  the  revolt  of  mine  is  dan- 
gerous: that  is  my  true  humour.  no 
Pist.  Thou  art  the  Mars  of  malecontents:   I  second 

thee;  troop  on.  [Exeunt, 


37 


Act  I.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  IV. 

A  room  in  Doctor  Cains' s  house. 
Enter  Mistress  Quickly,  Simple,  and  Rugby. 

Quick.  What,  John  Rugby!  I  pray  thee,  go  to  the 
casement,  and  see  if  you  can  see  my  master, 
Master  Doctor  Caius,  coming.  If  he  do,  i'  faith, 
and  find  anybody  in  the  house,  here  will  be  an 
old  abusing  of  God's  patience  and  the  king's 
English. 

Rug.  I  '11  go  watch. 

Quick.  Go;  and  we'll  have  a  posset  for 't  soon  at 
night,  in  faith,  at  the  latter  end  of  a  sea-coal 
lire.  [Exit  Rugby.^  An  honest,  willing,  kind  lo 
fellow,  as  ever  servant  shall  come  in  house 
withal;  and,  I  warrant  you,  no  tell-tale  nor  no 
breed-bate:  his  worst  fault  is,  that  he  is  given 
to  prayer;  he  is  something  peevish  that  way: 
but  nobody  but  has  his  fault ;  but  let  that  pass. 
Peter  Simple,  you  say  your  name  is? 

Sim.  Ay,  for  fault  of  a  better. 

Quick.  And  Master  Slender 's  your  master? 

Sim.  Ay,  forsooth. 

Quick.  Does  he  not  wear  a  great  round  beard,  like  a     20 
glover's  paring-knife? 

Sim.  No,  forsooth:  he  hath  but  a  little  wee  face, 
with  a  little  yellow  beard, — a  Cain-coloured 
beard. 

Quick.  A  softly-sprighted  man,  is  he  not? 

Sim.  Ay,  forsooth:  but  he  is  as  tall  a  man  of  his 
hands  as  any  is  between  this  and  his  head;  he 
hath  fought  with  a  warrener. 

38 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  iv. 

Quick.  How  say  you? — O,  I  should  remember  him: 

does  he  not  hold  up  his  head,  as  it  were,  and     30 
strut  in  his  gait? 

Sim.  Yes,  indeed,  does  he. 

Quick.  Well,  heaven  send  Anne  Page  no  worse  for- 
tune! Tell  Master  Parson  Evans  I  will  do 
what  I  can  for  your  master:  Anne  is  a  good 
girl,  and  I  wish — 

Re-enter  Rugby. 

Rug.  Out,  alas!   here  comes  my  master. 

Quick.  We  shall  all  be  shent.  Run  in  here,  good 
young  man;  go  into  this  closet:  he  will  not 
stay  long.  [Shuts  Simple  in  the  closet.]  What,  40 
John  Rugby!  John!  what,  John,  I  say!  Go, 
John,  go  inquire  for  my  master;  I  doubt  he  be 
not  well,  that  he  comes  not  home. 

[Sijiging]   And  down,  down,  adown-a,  etc. 

Enter  Doctor  Cains. 

Cains.  Vat  is  you  sing?     I  do  not  like  des  toys. 

Pray  you,  go  and  vetch  me  in  my  closet  un 

boitier  vert, — a  box,  a  green-a  box:   do  intend 

vat  I  speak?  a  green-a  box. 
Quick.  Ay,  forsooth;    I'll  fetch  it  you.  [Aside] 

I  am  glad  he  went  not  in  himself:    if  he  had     50 

found   the   young   man,   he   would   have   been 

horn-mad. 
Caius.  Fe,  fe,  fe,  fe!    ma  foi,  il  fait  fort  chaud.     Je 

m'en  vais  a  la  cour, — la  grande  affaire. 
Quick.  Is  it  this,  sir? 
Caius.  Oui;     mette    le    au    mon    pocket:     depeche, 

quickly.     Vere  is  dat  knave  Rugby? 

39 


Act  I.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Quick,  What,  John  Rugby !  John ! 

Rug.  Here,  sir ! 

Caius.  You   are   John   Rugby,   and   you   are   Jack     60 
Rugby.     Come,  take-a  your  rapier,  and  come 
after  my  heel  to  the  court. 

Rug.  'Tis  ready,  sir,  here  in  the  porch. 

Cains.  By  my  trot,  I  tarry  too  long.  Od's  me! 
Qu'ai-j'oublie!  dere  is  some  simples  in  my 
closet,  dat  I  vill  not  for  the  varld  I  shall  leave 
behind. 

Quick.  Ay  me,  he  '11  find  the  young  man  there,  and 
be  mad! 

Cains.  O  diable,  diable!    vat  is  in  my  closet?     Vil- 
lain!    larron!     [Pulling   Simple   out.]     Rugby,     70 
my  rapier! 

Quick.  Good  master,  be  content. 

Caius.  Wherefore  shall  I  be  content-a? 

Quick.  The  young  man  is  an  honest  man. 

Cains.  What  shall  de  honest  man  do  in  my  closet? 
dere  is  no  honest  man  dat  shall  come  in  my 
closet. 

Quick.  I  beseech  you,  be  not  so  phlegmatic.  Hear 
the  truth  of  it:  he  came  of  an  errand  to  me 
from  Parson  Hugh.  80 

Caius.  Veil. 

Sim.  Ay,  forsooth;  to  desire  her  to — 

Quick.  Peace,  I  pray  you. 

Caius.  Peace-a  your  tongue.     Speak-a  your  tale. 

Sim.  To  desire  this  honest  gentlewoman,  your  maid, 
to  speak  a  good  word  to  Mistress  Anne  Page 
for  my  master  in  the  way  of  marriage. 

Quick.  This  is  all,  indeed,  la!   but  I'll  ne'er  put  my 
finger  in  the  fire,  and  need  not. 
40 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  I.  Sc.  iv. 

Cains.  Sir   Hugh   send-a   you?     Rugby,   bailie   me     90 
some  paper.     Tarry  you  a  little-a  while.        [Writes. 

Quick.  [Aside  to  Simple^  I  am  glad  he  is  so  quiet:  if 
he  had  been  thoroughly  moved,  you  should 
have  heard  him  so  loud  and  so  melancholy. 
But  notwithstanding,  man,  I  '11  do  you  your 
master  what  good  I  can:  and  the  very  yea  and 
the  no  is,  the  French  doctor,  my  master, — I  may 
call  him  my  master,  look  you,  for  I  keep  his 
house;  and  I  wash,  wring,  brew,  bake,  scour, 
dress  meat  and  drink,  make  the  beds,  and  do  all 
myself, —  100 

Sim.  [Aside  to  Quickly]  'Tis  a  great  charge  to  come 
under  one  body's  hand. 

Quick.  [Aside  to  Simple]  Are  you  avised  o'  that? 
you  shall  find  it  a  great  charge:  and  to  be  up 
early  and  down  late; — but  notwithstanding, — 
to  tell  you  in  your  ear;  I  would  have  no  words 
of  it, — my  master  himself  is  in  love  with  Mis- 
tress Anne  Page:  but  notwithstanding  that,  I 
know  Anne's  mind, — that 's  neither  here  nor 
there. 

Caius.  You  jack'nape,  give-a  this  letter  to  Sir  Hugh;  no 
by  gar,  it  is  a  shallenge :  I  will  cut  his  troat  in 
de  park;  and  I  will  teach  a  scurvy  jack-a-nape 
priest  to  meddle  or  make.  You  may  be  gone; 
it  is  not  good  you  tarry  here. — By  gar,  I  will 
cut  all  his  two  stones;  by  gar,  he  shall  not  have 
a  stone  to  throw  at  his  dog.  [Exit  Simple. 

Quick.  Alas,  he  speaks  but  for  his  friend. 

Caius.  It  is  no  matter-a  ver  dat: — do  not  you  tell-a 
me  dat  I  shall  have  Anne  Page  for  myself? — 
By  gar,  I  vill  kill  de  Jack  priest;    and  I  have  120 
appointed  mine  host  of  de  Jarteer  to  measure 

41 


Act  I.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

our  weapon. — By  gar,  I  will  myself  have  Anne 

Page. 
Quick.  Sir,  the  maid  loves  you,  and  all  shall  be  well. 

We  must  give  folks  leave  to  prate:    what,  the 

good-jer! 
Cains.  Rugby,  come  to  the  court  with  me.     By  gar, 

if  I  have  not  Anne  Page,  I  shall  turn  your  head 

out  of  my  door.     Follow  my  heels,  Rugby. 

[Exeunt  Cains  and  Rugby. 
Quick.  You  shall  have  An  fool's-head  of  your  own.   130 

No,   I   know  Anne's   mind  for  that:    never  a 

woman  in  Windsor  knows  more  of  Anne's  mind 

than  I  do ;  nor  can  do  more  than  I  do  with  her, 

I  thank  heaven. 
Pent.   [Within]   Who 's  within  there?   ho! 
Quick.  Who  's  there,  I  trow?   Come  near  the  house, 

I  pray  you. 

Enter  Fenton. 

Pent.  How  now,  good  woman!  how  dost  thou? 

Quick.  The  better  that  it  pleases  your  good  worship 

to  ask.  140 

Fe7it.  What  news?  how  does  pretty  Mistress  Anne? 

Quick.  In  truth,  sir,  and  she  is  pretty,  and  honest, 
and  gentle;  and  one  that  is  your  friend,  I  can 
tell  you  that  by  the  way;  I  praise  heaven  for 
it. 

Pent.  Shall  I  do  any  good,  think'st  thou?  Shall  I 
not  lose  my  suit? 

Quick.  Troth,  sir,  all  is  in  his  hands  above:  but  not- 
withstanding. Master  Fenton,  I  '11  be  sworn  on 
a  book,  she  loves  you.     Have  not  your  worship  150 
a  wart  above  your  eye? 

43 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  i. 

Fenf.  Yes,  marry,  have  I;   what  of  that? 

Quick.  Well,  thereby  hangs  a  tale: — good  faith,  it 
is  such  another  Nan;  but,  I  detest,  an  honest 
maid  as  ever  broke  bread: — we  had  an  hour's 
talk  of  that  wart. — I  shall  never  laugh  but  in 
that  maid's  company! — But,  indeed,  she  is  given 
too  much  to  allicholy  and  musing :  but  for  you — 
w^ell,  go  to. 

Fent.  Well,  I  shall  see  her  to-day.     Hold,  there 's  i6o 
money  for  thee;    let  me  have  thy  voice  in  my 
behalf:    if  thou  seest  her  before  me,  commend 
me. 

Quick.  Will  I?  i'  faith,  that  we  will;  and  I  will  tell 
your  worship  more  of  the  wart  the  next  time  we 
have  confidence;   and  of  other  wooers. 

Fcnt.  Well,  farewell;  I  am  in  great  haste  now. 

Quick.  Farewell  to  your  worship.         [Exit  Fenf  on.] 
Truly,  an  honest  gentleman;    but  Anne  loves 
him  not;  for  I  know  Anne's  mind  as  well  as  an-  170 
other  does. — Out  upon't!  what  have  I  forgot? 

[Exit. 

ACT  SECOND. 

Scene  I. 

Before  Page's  house. 

Enter  Mistress  Page,  zvith  a  letter. 

Mrs  Page.  What,  have  I  'scaped  love-letters  in  the 
holiday-time  of  my  beauty,  and  am  I  now  a 
subject  for  them?     Let  me  see.  [Reads. 

*  Ask   me  no   reason   why   I   love   you;    for 
though  Love  use  Reason  for  his  physician,  he 

43 


Act  II.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

admits  him  not  for  his  counsellor.  You  are  not 
young,  no  more  am  I;  go  to,  then,  there's 
sympathy:  you  are  merry,  so  am  I;  ha,  ha! 
then  there's  more  sympathy:  you  love  sack, 
and  so  do  I;  would  you  desire  better  sympathy?  lo 
Let  it  suffice  thee,  Mistress  Page, — at  the  least, 
if  the  love  of  soldier  can  suffice, — that  I  love 
thee.  I  will  not  say,  pity  me, — 'tis  not  a  sol- 
dier-like phrase;  but  I  say,  love  me.     By  me, 

Thine  own  true  knight, 

By  day  or  night. 

Or  any  kind  of  light, 

With  all  his  might 

For  thee  to  fight. — ^John  Falstaff.' 
What  a  Herod  of  Jewry  is  this!     O  wicked,     20 
wicked  world!     One  that  is  well-nigh  worn  to 
pieces  with  age  to  show  himself  a  young  gal- 
lant!    What  an  unweighed  behaviour  hath  this 
Flemish    drunkard    picked — with    the    devil's 
name! — out  of  my  conversation,  that  he  dares 
in  this  manner  assay  me?     Why,  he  hath  not 
been  thrice  in  my  company!     What  should  I 
^ay  to  him?     I  was  then  frugal  of  my  mirth: 
Heaven  forgive  me!     Why,  I  '11  exhibit  a  bill  in 
the  parliament  for  the  putting  down  of  men.     30 
How  shall  I  be  revenged  on  him?  for  revenged 
I  will  be,  as  sure  as  his  guts  are  made  of  pud- 
dings. 

Enter  Mistress  Ford. 

Mrs   Ford.  Mrs    Page!    trust  me,  I  was  going  to 

your  house. 
Mrs   Page.  And,  trust  me,  I  was  coming  to  you. 

You  look  very  ill. 

44 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  i, 

Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  I  '11  ne'er  believe  that ;  I  have  to 
show  to  the  contrary. 

Mrs    Page.  Faith,  but  you  do,  in  my  mind. 

Mrs    Ford.  Well,  I  do,  then ;  yet,  I  say,  I  could  show     40 
you  to  the  contrary.     O  Mistress  Page,  give 
me  some  counsel! 

Mrs   Page.  What 's  the  matter,  woman  ? 

Mrs  Ford.  O  woman,  if  it  were  not  for  one  trifling 
respect,  I  could  come  to  such  honour! 

Mrs  Page.  Hang  the  trifle,  woman!  take  the  hon- 
our. What  is  it? — dispense  with  trifles; — what 
is  it? 

Mrs   Ford.  If  I  would  but  go  to  hell  for  an  eternal 

moment  or  so,  I  could  be  knighted.  50 

Mrs  Page.  What?  thou  Hest!  Sir  Alice  Ford! 
These  knights  will  hack;  and  so  thou  shouldst 
not  alter  the  article  of  thy  gentry. 

Mrs  Ford.  We  burn  daylight: — here,  read,  read; 
perceive  how  I  might  be  knighted.  I  shall 
think  the  worse  of  fat  men,  as  long  as  I  have  an 
eye  to  make  difference  of  men's  liking:  and  yet 
he  would  not  swear;  praised  woman's  modesty; 
and  gave  such  orderly  and  well-behaved  reproof 
to  all  uncomeliness,  that  I  would  have  sworn  his  60 
disposition  would  have  gone  to  the  truth  of  his 
words;  but  they  do  no  more  adhere  and  keep 
place  together  than  the  Hundredth  Psalm  to 
the  tune  of  '  Green  Sleeves.'  What  tempest,  I 
trow,  threw  this  whale,  with  so  many  tuns  of 
oil  in  his  belly,  ashore  at  Windsor?  How  shall 
I  be  revenged  on  him?  I  think  the  best  way 
were  to  entertain  him  with  hope,  till  the  wicked 

45 


Act  II.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

fire  of  lust  have  melted  him  in  his  own  grease. 
Did  you  ever  hear  the  like?  70 

Mrs  Page.  Letter  for  letter,  but  that  the  name  of 
Page  and  Ford  differs!  To  thy  great  corAfort 
in  this  mystery  of  ill  opinions,  here  's  the  twin- 
brother  of  thy  letter:  but  let  thine  inherit  first; 
for,  I  protest,  mine  never  shall.  I  warrant  he 
hath  a  thousand  of  these  letters,  writ  with  blank 
space  for  different  names, — sure,  more, — and 
these  are  of  the  second  edition:  he  will  print 
them,  out  of  doubt;  for  he  cares  not  what  he 
puts  into  the  press,  when  he  would  put  us  two.  80 
I  had  rather  be  a  giantess,  and  lie  under  Mount 
Pelion.  Well,  I  will  find  you  twenty  lascivious 
turtles  ere  one  chaste  man. 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  this  is  the  very  same ;  the  very 
hand,  the  very  words.  What  doth  he  think  of 
us? 

Mrs  Page.  Nay,  I  know  not:  it  makes  me  almost 
ready  to  wrangle  with  mine  own  honesty.  I  '11 
entertain  myself  like  one  that  I  am  not  ac- 
quainted withal;  for,  sure,  unless  he  know  90 
some  strain  in  me,  that  I  know  not  myself,  he 
would  nevfer  have  boarded  me  in  this  fury. 

Mrs  Ford.  '  Boarding,'  call  you  it?  I  '11  be  sure  to 
keep  him  above  deck. 

Mrs  Page.  So  will  I :  if  he  come  under  my  hatches, 
I  '11  never  to  sea  again.  Let 's  be  revenged  on 
him:  let's  appoint  him  a  meeting;  give  him 
a  show  of  comfort  in  his  suit,  and  lead  him  on 
with  a  fine-baited  delay,  till  he  hath  pawned 
his  horses  to  mine  host  of  the  Garter.  100 

46 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IL  Sc.  i. 

Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  I  will  consent  to  act  any  villany 
against  him,  that  may  not  sully  the  chariness 
of  our  honesty.  O,  that  my  husband  saw  this 
letter!  it  would  give  eternal  food  to  his  jeal- 
ousy. 

Mrs  Page.  Why,  look  where  he  comes ;  and  my 
good  man  too:  he's  as  far  from  jealousy  as  I 
am  from  giving  him  cause;  and  that,  I  hope, 
is  an  unmeasurable  distance. 

Mrs   Ford.  You  are  the  happier  woman.  i  lo 

Mrs    Page.  Let 's     consult     together    against     this 

greasy  knight.     Come  hither.  [They  retire. 

Enter  Ford,  with  Pistol,  and  Page;  with  Nym. 

Ford.  Well,  I  hope  it  be  not  so. 

Fist.  Hope  IS  a  curtal  dog  in  some  affairs: 

Sir  John  affects  thy  wife. 
Ford.  Why,  sir,  my  wife  is  not  young. 
Fist.  He  wooes  both  high  and  low,  both  rich  and  poor, 

Both  young  and  old,  one  with  another,  Ford; 

He  loves  the  galHmaufry:   Ford,  perpend. 
Ford.  Love  my  wife!  I20 

Fist.  With  liver  burning  hot.     Prevent,  or  go  thou, 

Like  Sir  Actseon  he,  with  Ringwood  at  thy  heels; 

O,  odious  is  the  name! 
Ford.  What  name,  sir? 
Fist.  The  horn,  I  say.     Farewell. 

Take  heed;   have  open  eye;   for  thieves  do  foot  by 
night : 

Take  heed,  ere  summer  comes,  or  cuckoo-birds  do 
sing. 

Away,  Sir  Corporal  Nym! — 

Believe  it.  Page ;  he  speaks  sense.  [Exit. 

Ford.   [Aside'\   I  will  be  patient ;  I  will  find  out  this.     130 

47 


Act  II.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Nym.  [To  Page]  And  this  is  true;  I  like  not  the 
humour  of  lying.  He  hath  wronged  me  in  some 
humours:  I  should  have  borne  the  humoured 
letter  to  her;  but  I  have  a  sword,  and  it  shall 
bite  upon  my  necessity.  He  loves  your  wife; 
there  's  the  short  and  the  long.  My  name  is 
Corporal  Nym;  I  speak,  and  I  avouch;  'tis 
true:  my  name  is  Nym,  and  FalstafT  loves  your 
wife.  Adieu.  I  love  not  the  humour  of  bread  140 
and  cheese;  and  there's  the  humour  of  it. 
Adieu.  [Exit, 

Page.  '  The  humour  of  it,'  quoth  'a!  here  's  a  fellow 
frights  English  out  of  his  wits. 

Pord.  I  will  seek  out  Falstaff. 

Page.  I  never  heard  such  a  drawling,  afifecting 
rogue. 

Pord.  If  I  do  find  it : — well. 

Page.  I  will  not  believe  such  a  Catalan,  though  the 
priest  o'  the  town  commended  him  for  a  true 
man.  150 

Pord.  'Twas  a  good  sensible  fellow; — well. 

Page.  How  now,  Meg! 

[Mrs  Page  and  Mrs  Ford  come  forward. 

Mrs    Page.  Whither  go  you,  George  ?     Hark  you. 

Mrs  Pord.  How  now,  sweet  Frank!  why  art  thou 
melancholy? 

Pord.  I  melancholy!  I  am  not  melancholy.  Get 
you  home,  go. 

Mrs  Pord.  Faith,  thou  hast  some  crotchets  in  thy 
head.     Now,  will  you  go,  Mrs  Page? 

Mrs  Page.  Have  with  you.     You  '11  come  to  dinner,    160 
George?     [Aside   to   Mrs    Pord]     Look   who 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  i. 

comes  yonder:    she  shall  be  our  messenger  to 
this  paltry  knight. 
Mrs  Ford.     [Aside    to    Mrs    Page'\     Trust    me,    I 
thought  on  her:    she'll  fit  it. 

Enter  Mistress  Quickly. 

Mrs  Page.  You  are  come  to  see  my  daughter  Anne? 
Quick.  Ay,  forsooth;    and,  I  pray,  how  does  good 

Mistress  Anne? 
Mrs  Page.  Go  in  with  us  and  see :  we  have  an  hour's 

talk  with  you.  170 

[Exeunt  Mrs  Page,  Mrs  Ford,  and  Mrs  Quickly. 

Page.  How  now,  Master  Ford! 

Ford.  You  heard  what  this  knave  told  me,  did  you 
not? 

Page.  Yes:   and  you  heard  what  the  other  told  me? 

Ford.  Do  you  think  there  is  truth  in  them? 

Page.  Hang  'em,  slaves!  I  do  not  think  the  knight 
would  offer  it:  but  these  that  accuse  him  in  his 
intent  towards  our  wives  are  a  yoke  of  his  dis- 
carded men;  very  rogues,  now  they  be  out  of 
service.  180 

Ford.  Were  they  his  men? 

Page.  Marry,  were  they. 

Ford.  I  like  it  never  the  better  for  that.  Does  he  lie 
at  the  Garter? 

Page.  Ay,  marry,  does  he.  If  he  should  intend  this 
voyage  toward  my  wife,  I  would  turn  her  loose 
to  him;  and  what  he  gets  more  of  her  than 
sharp  words,  let  it  lie  on  my  head. 

Ford.  I  do  not  misdoubt  my  wife;   but  I  would  be 

49 


Act  II.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

loath  to  turn  them  together.     A  man  may  be  190 
too  confident:   I  would  have  nothing  He  on  my 
head:  I  cannot  be  thus  satisfied. 
Page.  Look  where  my  ranting  host  of  the  Garter 
comes:    there  is  either  Hquor  in  his  pate,  or 
money  in  his  purse,  when  he  looks  so  merrily. 

Enter  Host. 

How  now,  mine  host! 
Host.  How  now,  bully-rook!    thou 'rt  a  gentleman. 
Cavaleiro-justice,  I  say! 

Enter  Shallow. 

Shal.  I  follow,  mine  host,  I  follow.     Good  even  and 

twenty,  good  Master  Page!     Master  Page,  will  200 
you  go  with  us?  we  have  sport  in  hand. 

Host.  Tell  him,  cavaleiro-justice;  tell  him,  bully- 
rook. 

Shal.  Sir,  there  is  a  fray  to  be  fought  between  Sir 
Hugh  the  Welsh  priest  and  Caius  the  French 
doctor. 

Ford.  Good  mine  host  o'  the  Garter,  a  word  with 

you.  [Drawing  him  aside. 

Host.  What  say'st  thou,  my  bully-rook? 

Shal.  [To  Page]  Will  you  go  with  us  to  behold  it?  210 
My  merry  host  hath  had  the  measuring  of  their 
weapons;  and,  I  think,  hath  appointed  them 
contrary  places;  for,  believe  me,  I  hear  the 
parson  is  no  jester.  Hark,  I  will  tell  you  what 
our  sport  shall  be.  [  They  converse  apart. 

Host.  Hast  thou  no  suit  against  my  knight,  my 
guest-cavaleire? 

50 


or  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  i. 

Ford.  None,  I  protest:  but  I  '11  give  you  a  pottle  of 
burnt  sack  to  give  me  recourse  to  him,  and  tell 
him  my  name  is  Brook;  only  for  a  jest.  220 

Host.  My  hand,  bully;  thou  shalt  have  egress  and 
regress; — said  I  well? — and  thy  name  shall  be 
Brook.  It  is  a  merry  night.  Will  you  go, 
min-heers  ? 

Shal.  Have  with  you,  mine  host. 

Page.  I  have  heard  the  Frenchman  hath  good  skill 
in  his  rapier. 

Shal.  Tut,  sir,  I  could  have  told  you  more.  In  these 
times  you  stand  on  distance,  your  passes,  stoc- 
cadoes,  and  I  know  not  what;  'tis  the  heart,  230 
Master  Page;  'tis  here,  'tis  here.  I  have  seen 
the  time,  with  my  long  sword  I  would  have 
made  you  four  tall  fellows  skip  like  rats. 

Host.  Here,  boys,  here,  here!    shall  we  wag? 

Page.  Have  with  you.     I  had  rather  hear  them  scold 

than  fight.  [Exeunt  Host,  Shal.,  and  Page. 

Ford.  Though  Page  be  a  secure  fool,  and  stands  so 
firmly  on  his  wife's  frailty,  yet  I  cannot  put  off 
my  opinion  so  easily:  she  was  in  his  company 
at  Page's  house;  and  what  they  made  there  240 
I  know  not.  Well,  I  will  look  further  into't: 
and  I  have  a  disguise  to  sound  Falstaff.  If  I 
find  her  honest,  I  lose  not  my  labour;  if  she  be 
otherwise,  'tis  labour  well  bestowed.  [Exit. 


51 


Act  II.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  II. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn. 
Enter  Fahtaif  and  Pistol. 

Fal.  I  will  not  lend  thee  a  penny. 

Pist.  Why,  then  the  world  's  mine  oyster, 
Which  I  with  sword  will  open. 

Fal.  Not  a  penny.  I  have  been  content,  sir,  you 
should  lay  my  countenance  to  pawn:  I  have 
grated  upon  my  good  friends  for  three  reprieves 
for  you  and  your  coach-fellow  Nym;  or  else 
you  had  looked  through  the  grate,  like  a 
geminy  of  baboons.  I  am  damned  in  hell  for 
swearing  to  gentlemen  my  friends,  you  were  lO 
good  soldiers  and  tall  fellows;  and  when  Mis- 
tress Bridget  lost  the  handle  of  her  fan,  I  took  't 
upon  mine  honour  thou  hadst  it  not. 

Pist.  Didst  not  thou  share?   hadst  thou  not  fifteen 
pence? 

Fal.  Reason,  you  rogue,  reason:  think'st  thou  I'll 
endanger  my  soul  gratis?  At  a  word,  hang  no 
more  about  me,  I  am  no  gibbet  for  you.  Go. 
A  short  knife  and  a  throng! — To  your  manor 
of  Pickt-hatch!  Go.  You'll  not  bear  a  letter  20 
for  me,  you  rogue!  you  stand  upon  your  hon- 
our! Why,  thou  unconfinable  baseness,  it  is 
as  much  as  I  can  do  to  keep  the  terms  of  my 
honour  precise:  I,  I,  I  myself  sometimes,  leav- 
ing the  fear  of  God  on  the  left  hand,  and  hiding 
mine  honour  in  my  necessity,  am  fain  to  shuffle, 
to  hedge,  and  to  lurch;  and  yet  you,  rogue,  will 

52 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  ii. 

ensconce  your  rags,  your  cat-a-mountain  looks, 
your  red-lattice  phrases,  and  your  bold-beating 
oaths,  under  the  shelter  of  your  honour!     You     30 
will  not  do  it,  you! 
Pist.  I  do  relent:  what  would  thou  more  of  man? 

Enter  Robin. 

Rob.  Sir,  here  's  a  woman  would  speak  with  you. 
Fal.  Let  her  approach. 

Enter  Mistress  Quickly. 

Quick.  Give  your  worship  good  morrow. 

Fal.  Good  morrow,  good  wife. 

Quick.  Not  so,  an  't  please  your  worship. 

Fal.  Good  maid,  then. 

Quick.  I'll  be  sworn; 

As  my  mother  was,  the  first  hour  I  was  born.        40 

Fal.  I  do  believe  the  swearer.     What  with  me? 

Quick.  Shall  I  vouchsafe  your  worship  a  word  or  two? 

Fal.  Two  thousand,  fair  woman:  and  I'll  vouch- 
safe thee  the  hearing. 

Quick.  There  is  one  Mistress  Ford,  sir: — I  pray, 
come  a  little  nearer  this  ways: — I  myself  dwell 
with  Master  Doctor  Caius, — 

Fal.  Well,  on:   Mistress  Ford,  you  say, — 

Quick.  Your  worship  says  very  true: — I  pray  your 

worship,  come  a  little  nearer  this  ways.  50 

Fal.  I  warrant  thee,  nobody  hears; — mine  own  peo- 
ple, mine  own  people. 

Quick.  Are  they  so?  God  bless  them,  and  make 
them  his  servants! 

Fal.  Well,  Mistress  Ford; — what  of  her? 

53 


Act  II.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Quick.  Why,  sir,  she 's  a  good  creature. — Lord, 
Lord!  your  worship 's  a  wanton !  Well,  heaven 
forgive  you  and  all  of  us,  I  pray! 
Fal.  Mistress  Ford; — come.  Mistress  Ford, — 
Quick.  Marry,  this  is  the  short  and  the  long  of  it;  60 
you  have  brought  her  into  such  a  canaries  as 
'tis  wonderful.  The  best  courtier  of  them  all, 
when  the  court  lay  at  Windsor,  could  never 
have  brought  her  to  such  a  canary.  Yet  there 
has  been  knights,  and  lords,  and  gentlemen, 
with  their  coaches;  I  warrant  you,  coach  after 
coach,  letter  after  letter,  gift  after  gift;  smelling 
so  sweetly,  all  musk,  and  so  rushling,  I  warrant 
you,  in  silk  and  gold;  and  in  such  alligant 
terms;  and  in  such  wine  and  sugar  of  the  best  70 
and  the  fairest,  that  would  have  won  any 
woman's  heart;  and,  I  warrant  you,  they  could 
never  get  an  eye-wink  of  her:  I  had  myself 
twenty  angels  given  me  this  morning ;  but  I  defy 
all  angels — in  any  such  sort,  as  they  say — but  in 
the  way  of  honesty :  and,  I  warrant  you,  they 
could  never  get  her  so  much  as  sip  on  a  cup  with 
the  proudest  of  them  all :  and  yet  there  has 
been  earls,  nay,  which  is  more,  pensioners ;  but, 
I  warrant  you,  all  is  one  with  her.  80 

Fal.  But  what  says  she  to  me?  be  brief,  my  good 
she-Mercury. 

Quick.  Marry,  she  hath  received  your  letter ;  for  the 
which  she  thanks  you  a  thousand  times;  and 
she  gives  you  to  notify,  that  her  husband  will 
be  absence  from  his  house  between  ten  and 
eleven. 

Fal.  Ten  and  eleven. 

54 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  ii. 

Quick.  Ay,  forsooth;  and  then  you  may  come  and 
see  the  picture,  she  says,  that  you  wot  of: 
Master  Ford,  her  husband,  will  be  from  home.  90 
Alas,  the  sweet  woman  leads  an  ill  life  with  him! 
he's  a  very  jealousy  man :  she  leads  a  very  fram- 
pold  life  with  him,  good  heart. 

Fal.  Ten  and  eleven.  Woman,  commend  me  to  her; 
I  will  not  fail  her. 

Quick.  Why,  you  say  well.  But  I  have  another 
messenger  to  your  worship.  Mistress  Page 
hath  her  hearty  commendations  to  you,  too: 
and  let  me  tell  you  in  your  ear,  she  's  as  fartuous 
a  civil  modest  wife,  and  one,  I  tell  you,  that  will  100 
not  miss  you  morning  nor  evening  prayer,  as 
any  is  in  Windsor,  whoe'er  be  the  other:  and 
she  bade  me  tell  your  worship  that  her  husband 
is  seldom  from  home;  but,  she  hopes,  there  will 
come  a  time.  I  never  knew  a  woman  so  dote 
upon  a  man:  surely,  I  think  you  have  charms, 
la;  yes,  in  truth. 

Fal.  Not  I,  I  assure  thee:  setting  the  attraction  of 
my  good  parts  aside,  I  have  no  other  charms. 

Quick.  Blessing  on  your  heart  for't!  rio 

Fal.  But,  I  pray  thee,  tell  me  this :  has  Ford's  wife 
and  Page's  wife  acquainted  each  other  how  they 
love  me? 

Quick.  That  were  a  jest  indeed!  they  have  not  so 
little  grace,  I  hope:  that  were  a  trick  indeed! 
But  Mistress  Page  would  desire  you  to  send 
her  your  Httle  page,  of  all  loves:  her  husband 
has  a  marvellous  infection  to  the  little  page; 
and,   truly.   Master   Page   is   an   honest   man. 

55 


Act  II.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Never  a  wife  in  Windsor  leads  a  better  life  than  120 
she  does:  do  what  she  will,  say  what  she  will, 
take  all,  pay  all,  go  to  bed  when  she  Hst,  rise 
when  she  list,  all  is  as  she  will:  and,  truly,  she 
deserves  it;  for  if  there  be  a  kind  woman  in 
Windsor,  she  is  one.  You  must  send  her  your 
page ;  no  remedy. 

Fal  Why,  I  will. 

Quick.  Nay,  but  do  so,  then:  and,  look  you,  he 
may  come  and  go  between  you  both;  and,  in 
any  case,  have  a  nay-word,  that  you  may  know 
one  another's  mind,  and  the  boy  never  need  to  130 
understand  any  thing;  for  'tis  not  good  that 
children  should  know  any  wickedness:  old 
folks,  you  know,  have  discretion,  as  they  say, 
and  know  the  world. 

Fal.  Fare  thee  well:  commend  me  to  them  both: 
there's  my  purse;  I  am  yet  thy  debtor.  Boy, 
go  along  with  this  woman.  [Exeunt  Mistress 
Quickly  and  Robin.]     This  news  distracts  me! 

Pist.  This  punk  is  one  of  Cupid's  carriers: 

Clap    on    more     sails;     pursue;      up    with    your 

fights:  140 

Give  fire:  she  is  my  prize,  or  ocean  whelm  them  all! 

[Exit. 

Fal.  Say'st  thou  so,  old  Jack?  go  thy  ways;  I'll 
make  more  of  thy  old  body  than  I  have  done. 
Will  they  yet  look  after  thee?  Wilt  thou,  after 
the  expense  of  so  much  money,  be  now  a 
gainer?  Good  body,  I  thank  thee.  Let  them 
say  'tis  grossly  done;  so  it  be  fairly  done,  no 
matter. 

Enter  Bardolph. 

Bard.  Sir  John,  there 's  one  Master  Brook  below 

S6 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  ii. 

would  fain  speak  with  you,  and  be  acquainted 

with  you;   and  hath  sent  your  worship  a  morn-  150 

ing's  draught  of  sack. 
Fal.  Brook  is  his  name? 
Bard.  Ay,  sir. 
Fal.  Call  him  in.     [Exit  Bardolph.]     Such  Brooks 

are  welcome  to  me,  that  o'erflows  such  liquor. 

Ah,  ha!  Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress  Page  have 

I  encompassed  you?  go  to;  via! 

Re-enter  Bardolph  with  Ford  disguised. 

Ford.  Bless  you,  sir! 

Fal.  And  you,  sir!     Would  you  speak  with  me? 

Ford.  I  make  bold  to  press  with  so  little  prepara-  160 
tion  upon  you. 

Fal.  You're   welcome.     What's   your   will? — Give 

us  leave,  drawer.  [Exit  Bardolph. 

Ford.  Sir,  I  am  a  gentleman  that  have  spent  much; 
my  name  is  Brook. 

Fal.  Good  Master  Brook,  I  desire  more  acquaint- 
ance of  you. 

Ford.  Good  Sir  John,  I  sue  for  yours :  not  to  charge 
you;  for  I  must  let  you  understand  I  think 
myself  in  better  plight  for  a  lender  than  you  170 
are:  the  which  hath  something  emboldened  me 
to  this  unseasoned  intrusion;  for  they  say,  if 
money  go  before,  all  ways  do  lie  open. 

Fal.  Money  is  a  good  soldier,  sir,  and  will  on. 

Ford.  Troth,  and  I  have  a  bag  of  money  here 
troubles  me:  if  you  will  help  to  bear  it.  Sir 
John,  take  all,  or  half,  for  easing  me  of  the 
carriage. 

57 


Act  II.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

FaL.  Sir,  I  know  not  how  I  may  deserve  to  be  your 
porter. 

Ford.  I  will  tell  you,  sir,  if  you  will  give  me  the 

hearing.  i8o 

Fal.  Speak,  good  Master  Brook:   I  shall  be  glad  to 
be  your  servant. 

Ford.  Sir,  I  hear  you  are  a  scholar, — I  will  be  brief 
with  you, — and  you  have  been  a  man  long 
known  to  me,  though  I  had  never  so  good 
means,  as  desire,  to  make  myself  acquainted 
with  you.  I  shall  discover  a  thing  to  you, 
wherein  I  must  very  much  lay  open  mine  own 
imperfection:  but,  good  Sir  John,  as  you  have 
one  eye  upon  my  follies,  as  you  hear  them  un- 
folded, turn  another  into  the  register  of  your  190 
own;  that  I  may  pass  with  a  reproof  the  easier, 
sith  you  yourself  know  how  easy  it  is  to  be  such 
an  offender. 

Fal.  Very  well,  sir;   proceed. 

Ford.  There  is  a  gentlewoman  in  this  town;    her 
husband's  name  is  Ford. 

Fal  Well,  sir. 

Ford.  I  have  long  loved  her,  and,  I  protest  to  you, 
bestowed  much  on  her;  followed  her  with  a 
doting  observance;  engrossed  opportunities  to  200 
meet  her;  fee'd  every  slight  occasion  that  could 
but  niggardly  give  me  sight  of  her;  not  only 
bought  many  presents  to  give  her,  but  have 
given  largely  to  many  to  know  what  she  would 
have  given;  briefly,  I  have  pursued  her  as  love 
hath  pursued  me;  which  hath  been  on  the  wing 
of  all  occasions.  But  whatsoever  I  have 
merited,  either  in  my  mind  or  in  my  means, 
meed,  I  am  sure,  I  have  received  none;   unless 

58 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  ii. 

experience  be  a  jewel  that  I  have  purchased  at  an  210 
infinite  rate,  and  that  hath  taught  me  to  say  this  : 
*  Love  like  a  shadow  flies  when  substance  love  pur- 
sues; 
Pursuing  that  that  flies,  and  flying  what  pursues.' 

Fal.  Have  you  received  no  promise  of  satisfaction 
at  her  hands? 

Ford.  Never. 

Fal  Have  you  importuned  her  to  such  a  purpose? 

Ford.  Never. 

Fal.  Of  what  quality  was  your  love,  then? 

Ford.  Like   a   fair   house   built   on   another    man's  220 
ground;   so  that  I  have  lost  my  edifice  by  mis- 
taking the  place  where  I  erected  it. 

Fal.  To  what  purpose  have  you  unfolded  this  to 
me? 

Ford.  When  I  have  told  you  that,  I  have  told  you 
all.  Some  say,  that  though  she  appear  honest 
to  me,  yet  in  other  places  she  enlargeth  her 
mirth  so  far  that  there  is  shrewd  construction 
made  of  her.  Now,  Sir  John,  here  is  the  heart 
of  my  purpose:  you  are  a  gentleman  of  excel- 
lent breeding,  admirable  discourse,  of  great  ad-  230 
mittance,  authentic  in  your  place  and  person, 
generally  allowed  for  your  many  war-like, 
court-like,  and  learned  preparations. 

Fal.  O,  sir! 

Ford.  Believe  it,  for  you  know  it.  There  is  money; 
spend  it,  spend  it;  spend  more;  spend  all  I 
have;  only  give  me  so  much  of  your  time  in 
exchange  of  it,  as  to  lay  an  amiable  siege  to- the 
honesty  of  this  Ford's  wife:  use  your  art  of 
wooing;  win  her  to  consent  to  you:  if  any  240 
man  may,  you  may  as  soon  as  any. 

59 


Act  II.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fal.  Would  it  apply  well  to  the  vehemency  of  your 
affection,  that  I  should  win  what  you  would 
enjoy?  Methinks  you  prescribe  to  yourself 
very  preposterously. 

Ford.  O,  understand  my  drift.  She  dwells  so  se- 
curely on  the  excellency  of  her  honour,  that 
the  folly  of  my  soul  dares  not  present  itself:  she 
is  too  bright  to  be  looked  against.  Now,  could 
I  come  to  her  with  any  detection  in  my  hand,  250 
my  desires  had  instance  and  argument  to  com- 
mend themselves:  I  could  drive  her  then  from 
the  ward  of  her  purity,  her  reputation,  her 
marriage-vow,  and  a  thousand  other  her  de- 
fences, which  now  are  too  too  strongly  em- 
battled against  me.  What  sav  you  to 't,  Sir 
John? 

Fal.  Master  Brook,  I  will  first  make  bold  with  your 
money;  next,  give  me  your  hand;  and  last,  as 
I  am  a  gentleman,  you  shall,  if  you  will,  enjoy 
Ford's  wife.  260 

Ford.  O  good  sir! 

Fal.  I  say  you  shall. 

Ford.  Want  no  money,  Sir  John;  you  shall  want 
none. 

Fal.  Want  no  Mistress  Ford,  Master  Brook;  you 
shall  want  none.  I  shall  be  with  her,  I  may 
tell  you,  by  her  own  appointment;  even  as  you 
came  in  to  me,  her  assistant,  or  go-between, 
parted  from  me:  I  say  I  shall  be  with  her  be- 
tween ten  and  eleven;  for  at  that  time  the  270 
jealous  rascally  knave  her  husband  will  be  forth. 
Come  you  to  me  at  night;  you  shall  know  how 
I  speed. 

60 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  ii. 

Ford.  I  am  blest  in  your  acquaintance.     Do  you 
know  Ford,  sir? 

Fal.  Hang  him,  poor  cuckoldly  knave!  I  know  him 
not: — yet  I  wrong  him  to  call  him  poor;  they 
say  the  jealous  wittolly  knave  hath  masses  of 
money;  for  the  which  his  wife  seems  to  me 
well-favoured.  I  will  use  her  as  the  key  of  280 
the  cuckoldly  rogue's  coffer;  and  there's  my 
harvest-home. 

Ford.  I  would  you  knew  Ford,  sir,  that  you  might 
avoid  him,  if  you  saw  him. 

Fal.  Hang  him,  mechanical  salt-butter  rogue!  I  will 
stare  him  out  of  his  wits;  I  will  awe  him  with 
my  cudgel:  it  shall  hang  Hke  a  meteor  o'er  the 
cuckold's  horns.  Master  Brook,  thou  shalt 
know  I  will  predominate  ^ver  the  peasant,  and 
thou  shalt  lie  with  his  wife.  Come  to  me  soon  290 
at  night.  Ford  's  a  knave,  and  I  will  aggravate 
his  style;  thou,  Master  Brook,  shalt  know  him 
for  knave  and  cuckold.  Come  to  me  soon  at 
night.  [Exit. 

Ford.  What  a  damned  Epicurean  rascal  is  this!  My 
heart  is  ready  to  crack  with  impatience.  Who 
says  this  is  improvident  jealousy?  my  wife  hath 
sent  to  him;  the  hour  is  fixed;  the  match  is 
made.  Would  any  man  have  thought  this? 
See  the  hell  of  having  a  false  woman!  My 
bed  shall  be  abused,  my  coffers  ransacked,  my  300 
reputation  gnawn  at;  and  I  shall  not  only  re- 
ceive this  villanous  wrong,  but  stand  under  the 
adoption  of  abominable  terms,  and  by  him  that 
does  me  this  wrong.  Terms!  names! —  Amai- 
mon    sounds    well;     Lucifer,    well;     Barbason, 

61 


Act  II.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

well;  yet  they  are  devils'  additions,  the  names 
of  fiends:  but  Cuckold!  Wittol!— Cuckold!  the 
devil  himself  hath  not  such  a  name.  Page  is  an 
ass,  a  secure  ass:  he  will  trust  his  wife;  he  will 
not  be  jealous.  I  will  rather  trust  a  Fleming  310 
with  my  butter,  Parson  Hugh  the  Welshman 
with  my  cheese,  an  Irishman  with  my  aqua-vitae 
bottle,  or  a  thief  to  walk  my  ambling  gelding, 
than  my  wife  with  herself:  then  she  plots,  then 
she  ruminates,  then  she  devises;  and  what 
they  think  in  their  hearts  they  may  effect,  they 
will  break  their  hearts  but  they  will  effect.  God 
be  praised  for  my  jealousy! — Eleven  o'clock  the 
hour.  I  will  prevent  this,  detect  my  wife,  be 
revenged  on  Falstaff,  and  laugh  at  Page.  I  will  320 
about  it;  better  three  hours  too  soon  than  a 
minute  too  late.  Fie,  fie,  fie!  cuckold!  cuck- 
old!  cuckold!  [Exit, 

Scene  III. 

A  field  near  Windsor, 

Enter  Caius  and  Rugby, 

Caius.  Jack  Rugby! 

Rug.  Sir? 

Caius.  Vat  is  de  clock.  Jack? 

Rug.  'Tis  past  the  hour,  sir,  that  Sir  Hugh  promised 

to  meet. 
Caius.  By  gar,  he  has  save  his  soul,  dat  he  is  no 

come;   he  has  pray  his  Pible  well,  dat  he  is  no 

come:   by  gar,  Jack  Rugby,  he  is  dead  already, 

if  he  be  come. 

62 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  iii. 

Rug.  He  is  wise,  sir;   he  knew  your  worship  would     lo 

kill  him,  if  he  came. 
Caius.  By  gar,  de  herring  is  no  dead  so  as  I  vill  kill 

him.     Take  your  rapier.  Jack;    I  vill  tell  you 

how  I  vill  kill  him. 
Rug.  Alas,  sir,  I  cannot  fence. 
Caius.  Villainy,  take  your  rapier. 
Rug.  Forbear;   here's  company. 

Enter  Host,  Shallow,  Slender,  and  Page. 

Host.  Bless  thee,  bully  doctor! 

Shal.  Save  you.  Master  Doctor  Caius! 

Page.  Now,  good  master  doctor !  20 

Slen.  Give  you  good  morrow,  sir. 

Caius.  Vat  be  all  you,  one,  two,  tree,  four,  come 
for? 

Host.  To  see  thee  fight,  to  see  thee  foin,  to  see  thee 
traverse;  to  see  thee  here,  to  see  thee  there; 
to  see  thee  pass  thy  punto,  thy  stock,  thy  re- 
verse, thy  distance,  thy  montant.  Is  he  dead, 
my  Ethiopian?  is  he  dead,  my  Francisco?  ha, 
bully!  What  says  my  ^sculapius?  my  Galen? 
my  heart  of  elder?  ha!  is  he  dead,  bully-stale?  30 
is  he  dead? 

Caius.  By  gar,  he  is  de  coward  Jack  priest  of  de 
vorld;    he  is  not  show  his  face. 

Host.  Thou  art  a  Castalion,  King-Urinal.  Hector 
of  Greece,  my  boy! 

Caius.  I  pray  you,  bear  vitness  that  me  have  stay 
six  or  seven,  two,  tree  hours  for  him,  and  he  is 
no  come. 

Shal.  He  is  the  wiser  man,  master  doctor;   he  is  a 

63 


Act  II.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

curer  of  souls,  and  you  a  curer  of  bodies;    if     40 
you  should  fight,  you  go  against  the  hair  of 
your  professions.     Is  it  not  true,  Master  Page? 

Page.  Master  Shallow,  you  have  yourself  been  a 
great  fighter,  though  now  a  man  of  peace. 

Shal.  Bodykins,  Master  Page,  though  I  now  be  old, 
and  of  the  peace,  if  I  see  a  sword  out,  my  finger 
itches  to  make  one.  Though  we  are  justices, 
and  doctors,  and  churchmen,  Master  Page,  we 
have  some  salt  of  our  youth  in  us;  we  are  the 
sons  of  women.  Master  Page.  5^ 

Page.  'Tis  true,  Master  Shallow. 

Shal.  It  will  be  found  so,  Master  Page.  Master 
Doctor  Caius,  I  am  come  to  fetch  you  home. 
I  am  sworn  of  the  peace:  you  have  shewed 
yourself  a  wise  physician,  and  Sir  Hugh  hath 
shewn  himself  a  wise  and  patient  churchman. 
You  must  go  with  me,  master  doctor. 

Host.  Pardon,  guest-justice. — A  word,  Mounseur 
Mock-water. 

Cains.  Mock-vater!    vat  is  dat?  60 

Host.  Mock-water,  in  our  English  tongue,  is  valour, 
bully. 

Cains.  By  gar,  den,  I  have  as  much  mock-vater  as 
de  EngHshman. — Scurvy  jack-dog  priest!  by 
gar,  me  vill  cut  his  ears. 

Host.  He  will  clapper-claw  thee  tightly,  bully. 

Cains.  Clapper-de-claw!   vat  is  dat? 

Host.  That  is,  he  will  make  thee  amends. 

Caius.  By  gar,  me  do  look  he  shall  clapper-de-claw 

me;  for,  by  gar,  me  vill  have  it.  yo 

Host.  And  I  will  provoke  him  to  't,  or  let  him  wag, 

64 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  II.  Sc.  iii. 

Caius.  Me  tank  you  for  dat. 

Host.  And,  moreover,  bully, — But  first,  master 
guest,  and  Master  Page,  and  eke  Cavaleiro 
Slender,  go  you  through  the  town  to  Frog- 
more.  [Aside  to  them. 

Page.  Sir  Hugh  is  there,  is  he? 

Host.  He  is  there:  see  what  humour  he  is  in;  and 
I  will  bring  the  doctor  about  by  the  fields.  Will 
it  do  well? 

ShaL  We  will  do  it.  80 

Page,  ShaL,  and  Slen.  Adieu,  good  master  doctor. 

{Exeunt  Page,  ShaL,  and  Slen. 

Caius.  By  gar,  me  vill  kill  de  priest;  for  he  speak 
for  a  jack-an-ape  to  Anne  Page. 

Host.  Let  him  die:  sheathe  thy  impatience,  throw 
cold  water  on  thy  choler:  go  about  the  fields 
with  me  through  Frogmore:  I  will  bring  thee 
where  Mistress  Anne  Page  is,  at  a  farm-house 
a-feasting;  and  thou  shalt  woo  her.  Cried  I 
aim?  said  I  well? 

Cains.  By  gar,  me   dank  you  vor  dat:    by  gar,  I     90 
love  you;    and  I  shall  procure-a  you  de  good 
guest,  de  earl,  de  knight,  de  lords,  de  gentle- 
men, my  patients. 

Host.  For  the  which  I  w^ill  be  thy  adversary  toward 
Anne  Page.     Said  I  well? 

Caius.  By  gar,  'tis  good;   veil  said. 

Host.  Let  us  wag,  then. 

Caius.  Come  at  my  heels,  Jack  Rugby.  [Exeunt. 


65 


Act  III.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

ACT  THIRD. 
Scene  I. 

A  Held  near  Frogniore. 

Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans  and  Simple. 

Evans.  I  pray  you  now,  good  Master  Slender's 
serving-man,  and  friend  Simple  by  your  name, 
which  way  have  you  looked  for  Master  Caius, 
that  calls  himself  doctor  of  physic? 
Sim.  Marry,  sir,  the  pittie-ward,  the  park-ward, 
every  way:  old  Windsor  way,  and  every  way 
but  the  town  way. 
Evans.  I  most  fehemently  desire  you  you  will  also 

look  that  way. 
Sim.  I  will,  sir.  {Exit.     lo 

Evans.  Pless  my  soul,  how  full  of  chollors  I  am,  and 
trempling  of  mind — I  shall  be  glad  if  he  have 
deceived  me. — How  melancholies  I  am! — I  will 
knog  his  urinals  about  his  knave's  costard  when 
I  have  goot  opportunities  for  the  ork. — 
Pless  my  soul! —  [Sings. 

To  shallow  rivers,  to  whose  falls 
Melodious  birds  sing  madrigals ; 
There  will  we  make  our  peds  of  roses. 
And  a  thousand  fragrant  posies.  20 

To  shallow — 
Mercy   on    me!     I    have   a   great    dispositions 

to  cry.  {Sings. 

Melodious  birds  sing  madrigals — 
Whenas  I  sat  in  Pabylon — 

66 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  i. 

And  a  thousand  vagram  posies. 
To  shallow,  &c.   » 

Re-enter  Simple. 

Sim.  Yonder  he  is  coming,  this  way,  Sir  Hugh. 
Evans.  He 's  welcome. —  {Sings. 

To  shallow  rivers,  to  whose  falls — 

Heaven  prosper  the  right! — What  weapons  is 

he?  30 

Sim.  No  weapons,  sir.     There  comes  my  master, 

Master  Shallow,  and  another  gentleman,  from 

Frogmore,  over  the  stile,  this  way. 
Evans.  Pray  you,  give  me  my  gown;  or  else  keep  it 

in  your  arms. 

Enter  Page,  Shallow,  and  Slender. 

Shal.  How   now,   master   parson!     Good   morrow, 

good  Sir  Hugh.     Keep  a  gamester  from  the 

dice,  and  a  good  student  from  his  book,  and 

it  is  wonderful. 
Slen.   [Aside]   Ah,  sweet  Anne  Page!  40 

Page.  Save  you,  good  Sir  Hugh! 
Evans.  Pless  you  from  his  mercy  sake,  all  of  you! 
Shal.  What,  the  sword  and  the  word!   do  you  study 

them  both,  master  parson? 
Page.  And  youthful  still!   in  your  doublet  and  hose 

this  raw  rheumatic  day! 
Evans.  There  is  reasons  and  causes  for  it. 
Page.  We  are  come  to  you  to  do  a  good  offtce, 

master  parson. 
Evans.  Fery  well:   what  is  it?  50 

Page.  Yonder  is  a  most  reverend  gentleman,  who, 

belike  having  received  wrong  by  some  person, 

67 


Act  III.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

is  at  most  odds  with  his  own  gravity  and  pa- 
tience that  ever  you  saw. 

Shal.  I  have  Hved  fourscore  years  and  upward;  I 
never  heard  a  man  of  his  place,  gravity,  and 
learning,  so  wide  of  his  own  respect. 

Evans.  What  is  he? 

Page.  I  think  you  know  him;   Master  Doctor  Caius, 

the  renowned  French  physician.  60 

Evans.  Got's  will,  and  his  passion  of  my  heart!  I 
had  as  lief  you  would  tell  me  of  a  mess  of 
porridge. 

Page.  Why? 

Evans.  He  has  no  more  knowledge  in  Hibocrates 
and  Galen, — and  he  is  a  knave  besides;  a  cow- 
ardly knave  as  you  would  desires  to  be  ac- 
quainted withal. 

Page.  I  warrant  you,  he  's  the  man  should  fight  with 
him. 

Slen.   [Aside'l   O  sweet  Anne  Page!  70 

Shal.  It  appears  so,  by  his  weapons.  Keep  them 
asunder:   here  comes  Doctor  Caius. 

Enter  Host,  Cains,  and  Rugby. 

Page.  Nay,  good  master  parson,  keep  in  your 
weapon. 

Shal.  So  do  you,  good  master  doctor. 

Host.  Disarm  them,  and  let  them  question:  let  them 
keep  their  limbs  whole,  and  hack  our  English. 

Caius.  I  pray  you,  let-a  me  speak  a  word  with  your 
ear.     Verefore  vill  you  not  meet-a  me? 

Evans.  [Aside  to  Cains]  Pray  you,  use  your  pa- 
tience:  in  good  time.  80 

Caius.  By  gar,  you  are  de  coward,  de  Jack  dog,  John 
Ape. 

68 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  i. 

Evans.  [Aside  to  Caius]  Pray  you,  let  us  not  be 
laughing-stocks  to  other  men's  humours ;  I  de- 
sire you  in  friendship,  and  I  will  one  way  or 
other  make  you  amends.  [Aloud]  I  will  knog 
your  urinals  about  your  knave's  cogscomb  for 
missing  your  meetings  and  appointments. 

Caius.  Diable ! — Jack  Rugby, — mine  host  de  Jarteer, 

— have  I  not  stay  for  him  to  kill  him?    have  I     90 
not,  at  de  place  I  did  appoint  ? 

Evans.  As  I  am  a  Christians  soul,  now,  look  you, 
this  is  the  place  appointed  :  I  '11  be  judgement  by 
mine  host  of  the  Garter. 

Host.  Peace,  I  say,  Gallia  and  Gaul,  French  and 
Welsh,  soul-curer  and  body-curer ! 

Cains.  Ay,  dat  is  very  good  ;  excellent. 

Host.  Peace,  I  say!  hear  mine  host  of  the  Garter. 
Am  I  politic?  am  I  subtle?  am  I  a  Machiavel? 
Shall  I  lose  my  doctor?  no;  he  gives  me  the  100 
potions  and  the  motions.  Shall  I  lose  my  parson, 
my  priest,  my  Sir  Hugh  ?  no ;  he  gives  me  the 
proverbs  and  the  no-verbs.  Give  me  thy  hand, 
terrestrial ;  so.  Give  me  thy  hand,  celestial ; 
so.  Boys  of  art,  I  have  deceived  you  both;  I 
have  directed  you  to  wrong  places :  your  hearts 
are  mighty,  your  skins  are  whole,  and  let  burnt 
sack  be  the  issue.  Come,  lay  their  swords  to 
pawn.  Follow  me,  lads  of  peace ;  follow,  follow, 
follow.  no 

Shai  Trust   me,   a  mad  host.     Follow,   gentlemen, 

follow. 
Slen.    [Aside]    O  sweet  Anne  Page! 

[Exeunt  ShaL,  Slen.,  Page,  and  Host, 

69 


Act  III.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Caius.  Ha,  do  I  perceive  dat  ?  have  you  make-a  de  sot 
of  us,  ha,  ha  ? 

Evans.  This  is  well;  he  has  made  us  his  vlouting- 
stog. — I  desire  you  that  we  may  be  friends  ;  and 
let  us  knog  our  prains  together  to  be  revenge  on 
this  same  scall,  scurvy,  cogging  companion,  the 
host  of  the  Garter.  120 

Caius.  By  gar,  with  all  my  heart.  He  promise  to 
bring  me  where  is  Anne  Page ;  by  gar,  he  de- 
ceive me  too. 

Evans.  Well,  I  will  smite  his  noddles.     Pray  you, 

follow.  {Exeunt. 

Scene  II. 

The  street,  in  Windsor. 
Enter  Mistress  Page  and  Robin. 

Mrs  Page.  Nay,  keep  your  way,  little  gallant;  you 
were  wont  to  be  a  follower,  but  now  you  are  a 
leader.  Whether  had  you  rather  lead  mine  eyes, 
or  eye  your  master's  heels  ? 

Rob.  I  had  rather,  forsooth,  go  before  you  like  a  man 
than  follow  him  like  a  dwarf. 

Mi's  Page.  O,  you  are  a  flattering  boy :  now  I  see 
you  '11  be  a  courtier. 

Enter  Ford, 

Ford.  Well  met,  Mistress  Page.     Whither  go  you  ? 
Mrs.   Page.  Truly,   sir,   to   see  your   wife.      Is   she 

at  home?  10 

Ford.  Ay ;  and  as  idle  as  she  may  hang  together,  for 

want  of  company.     I  think,  if  your  husbands 

were  dead,  you  two  would  marry. 
70 


OF  WINDSOR  ,  Act  III.  Sc.  ii. 

Mrs  Page.  Be  sure  of  that, — two  other  husbands. 
Ford.  Where  had  you  this  pretty  weathercock? 
Mrs  Page.  I  cannot  tell  what  the  dickens  his  name 

is  my  husband  had  him  of. — What  do  you  call 

your  knight's  name,  sirrah  ? 

Rob.  Sir  John  Falstaff. 

Ford.  Sir  John  Falstaff!  20 

Mrs  Page.  He,  he;  I  can  never  hit  on 's  name. 
There  is  such  a  league  between  my  good  man 
and  he! — Is  your  wife  at  home  indeed? 

Ford.  Indeed  she  is. 

Mrs  Page.  By  your  leave,  sir:    I  am  sick  till  I  see 

her.  [Exeunt  Mrs  Page  and  Robin, 

Ford.  Has  Page  any  brains?  hath  he  any  eyes?  hath 
he  any  thinking?  Sure,  they  sleep;  he  hath  no 
use  of  them.  Why,  this  boy  will  carry  a  letter 
twenty  mile,  as  easy  as  a  cannon  will  shoot  30 
point-blank  twelve  score.  He  pieces  out  his 
wife's  inclination;  he  gives  her  folly  motion  and 
advantage:  and  now  she's  going  to  my  wife, 
and  Falstaff's  boy  with  her.  A  man  may  hear 
this  shower  sing  in  the  wind.  And  Falstaff's 
boy  with  her!  Good  plots,  they  are  laid;  and 
our  revolted  wives  share  damnation  together. 
Well;  I  will  take  him,  then  torture  my  wife, 
pluck  the  borrowed  veil  of  modesty  from  the 
so  seeming  Mistress  Page,  divulge  Page  himself  40 
for  a  secure  and  wilful  Actseon  ;  and  to  these  vio- 
lent proceedings  all  my  neighbors  shall  cry  aim. 
[Clock  heard.]  The  clock  gives  me  my  cue,  and 
my  assurance  bids  me  search:  there  I  shall  find 
FalstafT:   I  shall  be  rather  praised  for  this  than 

71 


Act  III.  Sc.  ii.  ,  MERRY  WIVES 

mocked;  for  it  is  as  positive  as  the  earth  is  firm 
that  Falstaff  is  there:   I  will  go. 

Enter  Page,  Shallow,  Slender,  Host,  Sir  Hugh  Evans, 
Cains,  and  Rugby, 

ShaL,  Page,  &c.  Well  met,  Master  Ford. 

Ford.  Trust  me,  a  good  knot:   I  have  good  cheer  at 

home;   and  I  pray  you  all  go  with  me.  50 

ShaL  I  must  excuse  myself,  Master  Ford. 

Slen.  And  so  must  I,  sir:  we  have  appointed  to  dine 
with  Mistress  Anne,  and  I  would  not  break  with 
her  for  more  money  than  I  '11  speak  of. 

ShaL  We  have  lingered  about  a  match  between 
Anne  Page  and  my  cousin  Slender,  and  this  day 
we  shall  have  our  answer. 

Slen.  I  hope  I  have  your  good  will,  father  Page. 

Page.  You  have.  Master  Slender;    I  stand  wholly 

for  you: — but  my  wife,  master  doctor,  is  for     60 
you  altogether. 

Caius.  Ay,  be-gar;  and  de  maid  is  love-a  me:  my 
nursh-a  Quickly  tell  me  so  mush. 

Host.  What  say  you  to  young  Master  Fenton?  he 
capers,  he  dances,  he  has  eyes  of  youth,  he 
writes  verses,  he  speaks  holiday,  he  smells 
April  and  May:  he  will  carry  't,  he  will  carry  't; 
'tis  in  his  buttons;   he  will  carry 't. 

Page.  Not  by  my  consent,  I  promise  you.  The  gen- 
tleman is  of  no  having:  he  kept  company  with  70 
the  wild  prince  and  Poines;  he  is  of  too  high 
a  region;  he  knows  too  much.  No,  he  shall  not 
knit  a  knot  in  his  fortunes  with  the  finger  of  my 
substance:  if  he  take  her,  let  him  take  her 
72 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iiL 

simply;  the  wealth  I  have  waits  on  my  consent, 

and  my  consent  goes  not  that  way. 
Ford.  I  beseech  you  heartily,  some  of  you  go  home 

with  me  to  dinner:    besides  your  cheer,  you 

shall  have  sport;    I  will  show  you  a  monster. 

Master   doctor,   you   shall   go;    so   shall   you,     80 

Master  Page;   and  you,  Sir  Hugh. 
Shal.  Well,  fare  you  well:   We  shall  have  the  freer 

wooing  at  Master  Page's.       [Exeunt  Shal.  and  Slen. 
Cains.  Go  home,  John  Rugby;   I  come  anon. 

[Exit  Rugby. 
Host.  Farewell,   my   hearts:    I   will   to   my  honest 

knight  Falstaff,  and  drink  canary  with  him.       [Exit, 
Ford.   [Aside]      I  think  I  shall  drink  in  pipe-wine 

first  with  him;   I  '11  make  him  dance.     Will  you 

go,  gentles? 
All.  Have  with  you  to  see  this  monster.  [Exeunt, 

Scene  III. 

A  room  in  Ford's  house. 

Enter  Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress  Page, 

Mrs  Ford.  What,  John!     What,  Robert! 

Mrs  Page.  Quickly,  quickly! — is  the  buckbasket — 

Mrs  Ford.  I  warrant.     What,  Robin,  I  say! 

Enter  Servants  with  a  basket. 

Mrs  Page.  Come,  come,  come. 

Mrs  Ford.  Here,  set  it  down. 

Mrs  Page.  Give  your  men  the  charge;   we  must  be 

brief. 
Mrs  Ford.  Marry,  as  I  told  you  before,  John  and 

7Z 


Act  III.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Robert,  be  ready  here  hard  by  in  the  brew- 
house;  and  when  I  suddenly  call  you,  come  lo 
forth,  and,  without  any  pause  or  staggering, 
take  this  basket  on  your  shoulders:  that  done, 
trudge  with  it  in  all  haste,  and  carry  it  among 
the  whitsters  in  Datchet-mead,  and  there  empty 
it  in  the  muddy  ditch  close  by  the  Thames  side. 

Mrs  Page.  You  will  do  it  ? 

Mrs  Ford.  I  ha'  told  them  over  and  over;  they  lack 
no  direction.  Be  gone,  and  come  when  you 
are  called.  [Exeunt  Servants. 

Mrs  Page.  Here  comes  little  Robin.  20 

Enter  Robin. 

Mrs  Ford.  How  now,  my  eyas-musket!  what  news 
with  you? 

Rob.  My  master.  Sir  John,  is  come  in  at  your  back- 
door, Mistress  Ford,  and  requests  your  com- 
pany. 

Mrs  Page.  You  little  Jack-a-Lent,  have  you  been 
true  to  us? 

Rob.  Ay,  I  '11  be  sworn.  My  master  knows  not  of 
your  being  here,  and  hath  threatened  to  put  me 
into  everlasting  liberty,  if  I  tell  you  of  it;  for 
he  sw^ears  he  '11  turn  me  away.  30 

Mrs  Page.  Thou 'rt  a  good  boy:  this  secrecy  of 
thine  shall  be  a  tailor  to  thee,  and  shall  make 
thee  a  new  doublet  and  hose.     I  '11  go  hide  me. 

Mrs  Ford.  Do  so.  Go  tell  thy  master  I  am  alone. 
[Exit  Robin.]  Mistress  Page,  remember  you 
your  cue. 

Mrs  Page.  I  warrant  thee;  if  I  do  not  act  it,  hiss  me. 

[Exit. 

74 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iii. 

Mrs  Ford.  Go  to,  then :   we  '11  use  this  unwholesome 

humidity,    this    gross    watery    pumpion ;     we  '11     40 
teach  him  to  know  turtles  from  jays. 

Enter  FalstafF. 

Fal.  'Have  I  caught'  thee,  'my  heavenly  jewel?' 
Why,  now  let  me  die,  for  I  have  lived  long 
enough:  this  is  the  period  of  my  ambition:  O 
this  blessed  hour! 

Mrs  Ford.  O  sweet  Sir  John ! 

Fal.  Mistress  Ford,  I  cannot  cog,  I  cannot  prate, 
Mistress  Ford.     Now  shall  I  sin  in  my  wish: 
I  would  thy  husband  were  dead:    I  '11  speak  it 
before  the  best  lord;    I  would  make  thee  my     50 
lady. 

Mrs  Ford.  I  your  lady,  Sir  John!  alas,  I  should  be  a 
pitiful  lady! 

Fal.  Let  the  court  of  France  show  me  such  another. 
I  see  how  thine  eye  would  emulate  the  dia- 
mond: thou  hast  the  right  arched  beauty  of  the 
brow  that  becomes  the  ship-tire,  the  tire-valiant, 
or  any  tire  of  Venetian  admittance. 

Mrs  Ford.  A  plain  kerchief,   Sir  John :    my  brows 

become  nothing  else;   nor  that  well  neither.  60 

Fal.  By  the  Lord,  thou  art  a  traitor  to  say  so :  thou 
wouldst  make  an  absolute  courtier;  and  the 
firm  fixture  of  thy  foot  would  give  an  excellent 
motion  to  thy  gait  in  a  semicircled  farthingale. 
I  see  what  thou  wert,  if  Fortune  thy  foe  were 
not.  Nature  thy  friend.  Come,  thou  canst  not 
hide  it. 

Mrs  Ford.  Believe  me,  there  's  no  such  thing  in  me. 

75 


Act  III.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fal.  What  made  me  love  thee?    let  that  persuade 

thee  there  's  something  extraordinary  in  thee.  70 
Come,  I  cannot  cog,  and  say  thou  art  this  and 
that,  like  a  many  of  these  lisping  hawthornbuds, 
that  come  like  women  in  men's  apparel,  and 
smell  Hke  Bucklersbury  in  simple  time;  I  can- 
not: but  I  love  thee;  none  but  thee;  and  thou 
deservest  it. 

Mrs  Ford.  Do  not  betray  me,  sir.  I  fear  you  love 
Mistress  Page. 

Fal.  Thou  mightst  as  well  say  I  love  to  walk  by  the 

Counter-gate,  which  is  as  hateful  to  me  as  the     80 
reek  of  a  lime-kiln. 

Mrs  Ford.  Well,  heaven  knows  how  I  love  you;  and 
you  shall  one  day  find  it. 

Fal.  Keep  in  that  mind;  I '11  deserve  it. 

Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  I  must  tell  you,  so  you  do ;  or  else 
I  could  not  be  in  that  mind. 

Roh.  [Within']  Mistress  Ford,  Mistress  Ford!  here's 
Mistress  Page  at  the  door,  sweating,  and  blow- 
ing, and  looking  wildly,  and  would  needs  speak 
with  you  presently.  90 

Fal.  She  shall  not  see  me:  I  will  ensconce  me  be- 
hind the  arras. 

Mrs  Ford.  Pray  you,  do  so :    she  's  a  very  tattling 

woman.  [Falstaif  hides  himself. 

Re-enter  Mistress  Page  and  Robin. 

What's  the  matter?  how  now! 
Mrs  Page.  O  Mistress  Ford,  what  have  you  done? 
You  're  sham'd,  you  're  overthrown,  you  're  un- 
done for  ever! 

76 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iii. 

Mrs    Ford.  What 's  the  matter,  good  Mistress  Page  ? 
Mrs  Page.  O  well-a-day,  Mistress  Ford!   having  an  lOO 

honest  man  to  your  husband,  to  give  him  such 

cause  of  suspicion ! 
Mrs  Ford.  What  cause  of  suspicion  ? 
Mrs  Page.  What  cause  of  suspicion  !    Out  upon  you  f 

how  am  I  mistook  in  you ! 
Mrs  Ford.  Why,  alas,  what 's  the  matter  ? 
Mrs  Page.  Your  husband  's  coming  hither,  woman, 

with  all  the  officers  in  Windsor,  to  search  for  a 

gentleman  that  he  says  is  here  now  in  the  house, 

by  your  consent,  to  take  an  ill  advantage  of  his  no 

absence :  you  are  undone. 

Mrs  Ford.  'Tis  not  so,  I  hope. 

Mrs  Page.  Pray  heaven  it  be  not  so,  that  you  have 
such  a  man  here!  but  'tis  most  certain  your 
husband 's  coming,  with  half  Windsor  at  his 
heels,  to  search  for  such  a  one.  I  come  before 
to  tell  you.  If  you  know  yourself  clear,  why, 
I  am  glad  of  it ;  but  if  you  have  a  friend  here, 
convey,  convey  him  out.  Be  not  amazed ;  call 
all  your  senses  to  you;  defend  your  reputation,  120 
or  bid  farewell  to  your  good  life  for  ever. 

Mrs  Ford.  What  shall  I  do?  There  is  a  gentle- 
man my  dear  friend;  and  I  fear  not  mine  own 
shame  so  much  as  his  peril :  I  had  rather  than 
a  thousand  pound  he  were  out  of  the  house. 

Mrs  Page.  For  shame  !  never  stand  '  you  had  rather  ' 
and  '  you  had  rather ':  your  husband  's  here  at 
hand  ;  bethink  you  of  some  conveyance  :  in  the 
house  you  cannot  hide  him.  O,  how  have  you 
deceived  me!     Look,  here  is  a  basket:   if  he  be  130 

77 


Act  III.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

of  any  reasonable  stature,  he  may  creep  in  here ; 

and  throw  foul  linen  upon  him,  as  if  it  were 

going  to  bucking :  or, — it  is  whiting-time, — send 

him  by  your  two  men  to  Datchet-mead. 
Mrs  Ford.  He  's  too  big  to  go  in  there.     What  shall 

I  do? 
Fal.  [Coming  forzvard]  Let  me  see  't,  let  me  see  't,  O, 

let   me   see  't ! — I  '11   in,    I  '11   in. — Follow   your 

friend's  counsel. — I  '11  in. 
Mrs  Page.  What,  Sir  John  Falstaff !    Are  these  your  140 

letters,  knight? 
Fal.  I  love  thee. — Help  me  away. — Let  me  creep  in 

here. — I  '11  never — 

[Gets  into  the  basket;  they  cover  him  with  foul  linen. 
Mrs  Page.  Help   to  cover  your  master,   boy. — Call 

your    men.    Mistress    Ford. — You    dissembling 

knight ! 
Mrs  Ford.  What,  John  1    Robert !    John  !      [Exit  Robin. 

Re-enter  Servants. 

Go  take  up  these  clothes  here  quickly. — Where  's 
the  cowl-stafif  ?   look,  how  you  drumble ! — Carry 
them  to  the  laundress  in  Datchet-mead;  quickly,  150 
come. 

Enter  Ford,  Page,  Cains,  and  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Ford.  Pray  you,  come  near:  if  I  suspect  without 
cause,  why  then  make  sport  at  me ;  then  let  me 
be  your  jest ;  I  deserve  it. — How  now !  whither 
bear  you  this? 

Serv.  To  the  laundress,  forsooth. 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  what  have  you  to  do  whither  they 

78 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iii. 

bear   it?     You  were  best   meddle   with   buck- 
washing. 

Ford.  Buck! — I  would  I  could  wash  myself  of  the  i6o 
buck! — Buck,  buck,  buck!  Ay  buck;  I  war- 
rant you,  buck;  and  of  the  season  too,  it  shall 
appear.  [Exeunt  Servants  zvith  the  basket.'] 
Gentlemen,  I  have  dreamed  to-night;  I'll  tell 
you  my  dream.  Here,  here,  here  be  my  keys: 
ascend  my  chambers;  search,  seek,  find  out: 
I  '11  warrant  we  '11  unkennel  the  fox.  Let  me 
stop  this  way  first.  [Locking  the  door.]  So, 
now  uncape. 

Page.  Good  Master  Ford,  be  contented:  you  wrong  170 
yourself  too  much. 

Ford.  True,    Master    Page.     Up,    gentlemen;     you 

shall  see  sport  anon:   follow  me,  gentlemen.     [Exit. 

Evans.  This  is  fery  fantastical  humours  and  jeal- 
ousies. 

Cains.  By  gar,  'tis  no  the  fashion  of  France;  it  is 
not  jealous  in  France. 

Page.  Nay,  follow  him,  gentlemen;   see  the  issue  of 

his  search.  [Exeunt  Page,  Cains,  and  Evans. 

Mrs  Page.  Is  there  not  a  double  excellency  in  this? 

Mrs  Ford.  I  know  not  which  pleases  me  better,  that  180 
my  husband  is  deceived,  or  Sir  John. 

Mrs  Page.  What  a  taking  was  he  in  when  your  hus- 
band asked  who  was  in  the  basket! 

Mrs  Ford.  I  am  half  afraid  he  will  have  need  of 
washing;  so  throwing  him  into  the  water  will 
do  him  a  benefit. 

Mrs  Page.  Hang  him,  dishonest  rascal!  I  would  all 
of  the  same  strain  were  in  the  same  distress. 

Mrs  Ford.  I  think  my  husband  hath  some  special 

79 


Act  III.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

suspicion  of  Falstaff's  being  here;    for  I  never  190 
saw  him  so  gross  in  his  jealousy  till  now. 

Mrs  Page.  I  will  lay  a  plot  to  try  that;  and  we  will 
yet  have  more  tricks  with  Falstafif:  his  dis- 
solute disease  will  scarce  obey  this  medicine. 

Mrs  Ford.  Shall  we  send  that  foolish  carrion,  Mis- 
tress Quickly,  to  him,  and  excuse  his  throwing 
into  the  water;  and  give  him  another  hope,  to 
betray  him  to  another  punishment? 

Mrs  Page.  We  will  do  it:  let  him  be  sent  for  to- 
morrow, eight  o'clock,  to  have  amends.  200 

Re-enter  Ford,  Page,  Cains,  and  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Ford.  I  cannot  find  him :  may  be  the  knave  bragged 
of  that  he  could  not  compass. 

Mrs  Page.   [Aside  to  Mrs  Ford]   Heard  you  that? 

Mrs  Ford.  You  use  me  well.  Master  Ford,  do  you? 

Ford.  Ay,  I  do  so. 

Mrs  Ford.  Heaven  make  you  better  than  your 
thoughts ! 

Ford.  Amen! 

Mrs  Page.  You  do  yourself  mighty  wrong.  Master 

Ford.  210 

Ford.  Ay,  ay;  I  must  bear  it. 

Evans.  If  there  be  any  pody  in  the  house,  and  in  the 
chambers,  and  in  the  coffers,  and  in  the  presses, 
heaven  forgive  my  sins  at  the  day  of  judgement! 

Cains.  By  gar,  nor  I  too:   there  is  no  bodies. 

Page.  Fie,  fie,  Master  Ford!   are  you  not  ashamed? 
What  spirit,  what  devil  suggests  this  imagina- 
tion?    I  would  not  ha'  your  distemper  in  this 
kind  for  the  wealth  of  Windsor  Castle. 
80 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iv. 

Ford.  'Tis  my  fault,  Master  Page :  I  suffer  for  it.        220 

Evans.  You  suffer  for  a  pad  conscience :  your  wife  is 
as  honest  a  'omans  as  I  will  desires  among  five 
thousand,  and  five  hundred  too. 

Caius.  By  gar,  I  see  'tis  an  honest  woman. 

Ford.  Well,  I  promised  you  a  dinner. — Come,  come, 
walk  in  the  park :  I  pray  you,  pardon  me ;  I  will 
hereafter  make  known  to  you  why  I  have  done 
this. — Come,  wife;  come,  Mistress  Page. — I 
pray  you,  pardon  me ;  pray  heartily  pardon  me. 

Page.  Let 's  go  in,  gentlemen ;   but,  trust  me,  we  '11  230 
mock  him.     I  do  invite  you  to-morrow  morning 
to  my  house  to  breakfast :  after,  we  '11  a-birding 
together ;  I  have  a  fine  hawk  for  the  bush.    Shall 
it  be  so  ? 

Ford.  Any  thing. 

Evans.  If  there  is  one,  I  shall  make  two  In  the  com- 
pany. 

Cains.  If  there  be  one  or  two,  I  shall  make-a  the 
turd. 

Ford.  Pray  you,  go.  Master  Page. 

Evans.  I  pray  you  now,  remembrance  to-morrow  on 

the  lousy  knave,  mine  host.  240 

Cains,  Dat  is  good ;  by  gar,  with  all  my  heart ! 

Evans.  A  lousy  knave,  to  have  his  gibes  and  his 

mockeries !  [Exeunt 

Scene  IV. 

'A  room  in  Page's  house. 

Enter  Fenton  and  Anne  Page. 

Fent.  I  see  I  cannot  get  thy  father's  love ; 

Therefore  no  more  turn  me  to  him,  sweet  Nan. 
Anne.  Alas,  how  then  ? 

81 


Act  III.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fent.  Why,  thou  must  be  thyself. 

He  doth  object  I  am  too  great  of  birth ; 

And  that,  my  state  being  gaU'd  with  my  expense, 

I  seek  to  heal  it  only  by  his  wealth : 

Besides  these,  other  bars  he  lays  before  me, — 

My  riots  past,  my  wild  societies ; 

And  tells  me  'tis  a  thing  impossible  lo 

I  should  love  thee  but  as  a  property. 
Anne.  May  be  he  tells  you  true. 
Fent.  No,  heaven  so  speed  me  in  my  time  to  come ! 

Albeit  I  will  confess  thy  feather's  wealth 

Was  the  first  motive  that  I  woo'd  thee,  Anne : 

Yet,  wooing  thee,  I  found  thee  of  more  value 

Than  stamps  in  gold  or  sums  in  sealed  bags ; 

And  'tis  the  very  riches  of  thyself 

That  now  I  aim  at. 
Anne.  Gentle  Master  Fenton,  20 

Yet  seek  my  father's  love ;  still  seek  it,  sir : 

If  opportunity  and  humblest  suit 

Cannot  attain  it,  why,  then, — hark  you  hither ! 

[They  converse  apart. 

Enter  Shallozv,  Slender,  and  Mistress  Quickly. 

Shal.  Break  their  talk.  Mistress  Quickly:    my  kins- 
man shall  speak  for  himself. 

Slen.  I  '11  make  a  shaft  or  a  bolt  on  't :   'slid,  'tis  but 
venturing. 

Shal.  Be  not  dismayed. 

Slen.  No,  she  shall  not  dismay  me:    I  care  not  for 

that,  but  that  I  am  afeard.  30 

Quick.  Hark  ye;    Master   Slender   would   speak  a 
word  with  you. 

82 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  iv. 

Anjie.  I  come  to  him.      [Aside]     This  is  my  father's 

choice. 

O,  what  a  world  of  vile  ill-favour'd  faults 

Looks    handsome    in    three    hundred    pounds 

a-year! 
Quick.  And  how  does  good  Master  Fenton?     Pray 

you,  a  word  with  you. 
Shal.  She's   coming;    to   her,   coz.     O   boy,   thou 

hadst  a  father!  40 

Slen.  I  had  a  father.  Mistress  Anne;   my  uncle  can 

tell  you  good  jests  of  him.     Pray  you,  uncle, 

tell  Mistress  Anne  the  jest,  how  my  father  stole 

two  geese  out  of  a  pen,  good  uncle. 
Shal.  Mistress  Anne,  my  cousin  loves  you. 
Slen.  Ay,  that  I  do ;  as  well  as  I  love  any  woman  in 

Gloucestershire. 
Shal.  He  will  maintain  you  like  a  gentlewoman. 
Slen.  Ay,  that  I  will,  come  cut  and  long-tail,  under 

the  degree  of  a  squire.  5^ 

Shal.  He  will  make  you  a  hundred  and  fifty  pounds 

jointure. 
Anne.  Good  Master  Shallow,  let  him  woo  for  himself. 
Shal.  Marry,  I  thank  you  for  it;    I  thank  you  for 

that  good  comfort.     She  calls  you,  coz:    I'll 

leave  you. 
Anne.  Now,  Master  Slender, — 
Slen.  Now,  good  Mistress  Anne,  — 
Anne.  What  is  your  will? 
Slen.  My  will!    od's  heartlings,  that's  a  pretty  jest 

indeed!     I   ne'er  made   my  will   yet,   1   thank     60 

heaven;  I  am  not  such  a  sickly  creature,  I  give 

heaven  praise. 
Anne.  I  mean.  Master  Slender,  what  would  you  with 

me? 

83 


Act  III.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Slen.  Truly,  for  mine  own  part,  I  would  little  or 
nothing  with  you.  Your  father  and  my  uncle 
hath  made  motions:  if  it  be  my  luck,  so;  if  not, 
happy  man  be  his  dole!  They  can  tell  you 
how  things  go  better  than  I  can:  you  may  ask 
your  father;  here  he  comes.  70 

Enter  Page  and  Mistress  Page. 

Page.  Now,  Master  Slender:  love  him,  daughter 
Anne. — Why,  how  now!  what  does  Master 
Fenton  here?  You  wrong  me,  sir,  thus  still  to 
haunt  my  house:  I  told  you,  sir,  my  daughter 
is  disposed  of. 

Pent.  Nay,  Master  Page,  be  not  impatient. 

Mrs  Page.  Good  Master  Fenton,  come  not  to  my 
child. 

Page.  She  is  no  match  for  you. 

Pent.  Sir,  will  you  hear  me? 

Page.  No,  good  Master  Fenton. 

Come,  Master  Shallow;   come,  son  Slender,  in. 
Knowing  my   mind,   you   wrong   me,    Master     80 
Fenton.  [Exeunt  Page,  Shal.,  and  Slen. 

Quick.  Speak  to  Mistress  Page. 

Pent.  Good  Mistress  Page,  for  that  I  love  your  daughter 
In  such  a  righteous  fashion  as  I  do. 
Perforce,  against  all  checks,  rebukes  and  manners, 
I  must  advance  the  colours  of  my  love, 
And  not  retire:   let  me  have  your  good  will. 

Anne.  Good  mother,  do  not  marry  me  to  yond  fool. 

Mrs  Page.  I  mean  it  not;    I  seek  you  a  better  hus- 
band. 90 

Quick.  That 's  my  master,  master  doctor. 

Anne.  Alas,  I  had  rather  be  set  quick  i'  the  earth, 
And  bowl'd  to  death  with  turnips! 

84 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  v. 

Mrs  Page.  Come,  trouble  not  yourself.    Good  Master 
Fenton. 
I  will  not  be  your  friend  nor  enemy : 
My  daughter  will  I  question  how  she  loves  you, 
And  as  I  find  her,  so  am  I  affected. 
Till  then  farewell,  sir  :  she  must  needs  go  in ; 
Her  father  will  be  angry.  lOO 

Pent  Farewell,  gentle  mistress :   farewell.  Nan. 

[Exeunt  Mrs  Page  and  Anne. 

Quick.  This  is  my  doing  now :  *  Nay,'  said  I,  '  will 
you  cast  away  your  child  on  a  fool,  and  a  phy- 
sician ?  Look  on  Master  Fenton' :  this  is  my  do- 
ing. 

Pent.  I  thank  thee ;  and  I  pray  thee,  once  to-night 
Give  my  sweet  Nan  this  ring :  there  's  for  thy 
pains. 

Quick.  Now  heaven  send  thee  good  fortune !  [Exit 
Penton,]  A  kind  heart  he  hath  :  a  woman  would 
run  through  fire  and  water  for  such  a  kind  heart,  no 
But  yet  I  would  my  master  had  Mistress  Anne ; 
or  I  would  Master  Slender  had  her;  or,  in 
sooth,  I  would  Master  Fenton  had  her :  I  will  do 
what  I  can  for  them  all  three;  for  so  I  have 
promised,  and  I  '11  be  as  good  as  my  word ;  but 
speciously  for  Master  Fenton.  Well,  I  must  of 
another  errand  to  Sir  John  Falstaff  from  my  two 
mistresses  :  what  a  beast  am  I  to  slack  it !  [Exit, 

Scene  V. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn. 
Enter  Palstaif  and  Bardolph. 
Pal.  Bardolph,  I  say, — 

85 


Act  III.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

Bard.  Here,  sir. 

Fal.  Go  fetch  me  a  quart  of  sack ;  put  a  toast  in  't. 
[Exit  Bard.]  Have  I  lived  to  be  carried  in  a 
basket,  like  a  barrow  of  butcher's  offal,  and  to 
be  thrown  in  the  Thames?  Well,  if  I  be  served 
such  another  trick,  I  '11  have  my  brains  ta'en  out, 
and  buttered,  and  give  them  to  a  dog  for  a  new- 
year's  gift.  The  rogues  slighted  me  into  the 
river  with  as  little  remorse  as  they  would  have  lo 
drowned  a  blind  bitch's  puppies,  fifteen  i'  the 
litter :  and  you  may  know  by  my  size  that  I  have 
a  kind  of  alacrity  in  sinking ;  if  the  bottom  were 
as  deep  as  hell,  I  should  down.  I  had  been 
drowned,  but  that  the  shore  was  shelvy  and 
shallow, — a  death  that  I  abhor;  for  the  water 
swells  a  man ;  and  what  a  thing  should  I  have 
been  when  I  had  been  swelled!  I  should  have 
been  a  mountain  of  mummy. 

Re-enter  Bardolph  with  sack. 

Bard.  Here 's  Mistress  Quickly,  sir,  to  speak  with     20 
you. 

Fal.  Come,  let  me  pour  in  some  sack  to  the  Thames 
water ;  for  my  belly  's  as  cold  as  if  I  had  swal- 
lowed snowballs  for  pills  to  cool  the  reins. 
Call  her  in. 

Bard.  Come  in,  woman ! 

Enter  Mrs  Quickly. 

Quick.  By  your  leave ;   I  cry  you  mercy :   give  your 

worship  good  morrow. 
Fal.  Take  away  these  chalices.     Go  brew  me  a  pottle 

of  sack  finely. 

86 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  v. 

Bard.  With  eggs,  sir?  30 

Fal.  Simple  of  itself;    I  '11  no  pullet-sperm  in  my 

brewage.     [Exit  Bardolph.]   How  now! 
Quick.  Marry,   sir,   I   come  to  your  worship   from 

Mistress  Ford. 
Fal.  Mistress  Ford!   I  have  had  ford  enough;  I  was 

thrown  into  the  ford;    I  have  my  belly  full  of 

ford. 
Quick.  Alas  the  day!   good  heart,  that  was  not  her 

fault:   she  does  so  take  on  with  her  men;   they 

mistook  their  erection. 
Fal.  So  did  I  mine,  to  build  upon  a  foolish  woman's     40 

promise. 
Quick.  Well,  she  laments,  sir,  for  it,  that  it  would 

yearn  your  heart  to  see  it.     Her  husband  goes 

this  morning  a-birding;    she  desires  you  once 

more  to  come  to  her  between  eight  and  nine:   I 

must  carry  her  word  quickly:   she'll  make  you 

amends,  I  warrant  you. 
Fal.  Well,  I  will  visit  her:   tell  her  so;   and  bid  her 

think  what  a  man  is:  let  her  consider  his  frailty, 

and  then  judge  of  my  merit.  50 

Quick.  I  will  tell  her. 

Fal.  Do  so.     Between  nine  and  ten,  sayest  thou? 
Quick.  Eight  and  nine,  sir. 
Fal.  Well,  be  gone :   I  will  not  miss  her. 
Quick.  Peace  be  with  you,  sir.  [Exit. 

Fal.  I  marvel  I  hear  not  of  Master  Brook;   he  sent 

me  word  to  stay  within:   I  like  his  money  well. 

— O,  here  he  comes. 

Enter  Ford. 

Ford.  Bless  you,  sir! 

87 


Act  III.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fal.  Now,  Master  Brook, — you  come  to  know  what     60 
hath  passed  between  me  and  Ford's  wife? 

Ford.  That,  indeed,  Sir  John,  is  my  business. 

Fal.  Master  Brook,  I  will  not  lie  to  you:  I  was  at 
her  house  the  hour  she  appointed  me. 

Ford.  And  sped  you,  sir? 

Fal.  Very  ill-favouredly,  blaster  Brook. 

Ford.  How  so,  sir?  Did  she  change  her  determina- 
tion? 

Fal.  No,  Master  Brook;  but  the  peaking  Cornuto 
her  husband.  Master  Brook,  dwelUng  in  a  con- 
tinual 'larum  of  jealousy,  comes  me  in  the  in-  70 
stant  of  our  encounter,  after  we  had  embraced, 
kissed,  protested,  and,  as  it  were,  spoke  the 
prologue  of  our  comedy;  and  at  his  heels  a 
rabble  of  his  companions,  thither  provoked  and 
instigated  by  his  distemper,  and,  forsooth,  to 
search  his  house  for  his  wife's  love. 

Ford,  What,  while  you  were  there? 

Fal.  While  I  was  there. 

Ford.  And  did  he  search  for  you,  and  could  not  find 

you  ?  80 

Fal.  You  shall  hear.  As  good  luck  would  have  it, 
comes  in  one  Mistress  Page;  gives  intelligence 
of  Ford's  approach ;  and,  in  her  invention  and 
Ford's  wife's  distraction,  they  conveyed  me  into 
a  buck-basket. 

Ford.  A  buck-basket! 

Fal.  By  the  Lord,  a  buck-basket! — rammed  me  in 
with  foul  shirts  and  smocks,  socks,  foul  stock- 
ings, greasy  napkins  ;  that.  Master  Brook,  there 
was  the  rankest  compound  of  villanous  smell     90 
that  ever  offended  nostril. 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  III.  Sc.  v. 

Ford,  And  how  long  lay  you  there  ? 

Fal.  Nay,  you  shall  hear,  Master  Brook,  what  I  have 
suffered  to  bring  this  woman  to  evil  for  your 
good.  Being  thus  crammed  in  the  basket,  a 
couple  of  P'ord's  knaves,  his  hinds,  were  called 
forth  by  their  mistress  to  carry  me  in  the  name 
of  foul  clothes  to  Datchet-lane :  they  took  me  on 
their  shoulders;  met  the  jealous  knave  their 
master  in  the  door,  who  asked  them  once  or  loo 
twice  what  they  had  in  their  basket:  I  quaked 
for  fear,  lest  the  lunatic  knave  would  have 
searched  it;  but  fate,  ordaining  he  should  be 
a  cuckold,  held  his  hand.  Well:  on  went  he 
for  a  search,  and  away  went  I  for  foul  clothes. 
But  mark  the  sequel,  IMaster  Brook :  I  suffered 
the  pangs  of  three  several  deaths;  first,  an  in- 
tolerable fright,  to  be  detected  with  a  jealous 
rotten  bell-wether;  next,  to  be  compassed,  like 
a  good  bilbo,  in  the  circumference  of  a  peck,  hilt  no 
to  point,  heel  to  head;  and  then,  to  be  stopped 
in,  like  a  strong  distillation,  with  stinking  clothes 
that  fretted  in  their  own  grease:  think  of  that, 
— a  man  of  my  kidney, — think  of  that, — that  am 
as  subject  to  heat  as  butter;  a  man  of  continual 
dissolution  and  thaw :  it  was  a  miracle  to  'scape 
suffocation.  And  in  the  height  of  this  bath, 
when  I  was  more  than  half  stewed  in  grease, 
like  a  Dutch  dish,  to  be  thrown  into  the  Thames, 
and  cooled,  glowing  hot,  in  that  surge,  like  a  120 
horse-shoe  ;  think  of  that, — hissing  hot, — think 
of  that.  Master  Brook. 

Ford.  In  good  sadness,  sir,  I  am  sorry  that  for  my 

89 


Act  III.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

sake  you  have  suffered  all  this.     My  suit,  then, 
is  desperate;   you  '11  undertake  her  no  more? 

Fal.  Master  Brook,  I  will  be  thrown  into  Etna,  as  I 
have  been  into  Thames,  ere  I  will  leave  her  thus. 
Her  husband  is  this  morning  gone  a-birding:  I 
have  received  from  her  another  embassy  of 
meeting;  'twixt  eight  and  nine  is  the  hour,  130 
Master  Brook. 

Ford.  Tis  past  eight  already,  sir. 

Fal.  Is  it?  I  will  then  address  me  to  my  appoint- 
ment. Come  to  me  at  your  convenient  leisure, 
and  you  shall  know  how  I  speed;  and  the  con- 
clusion shall  be  crowned  with  your  enjoying  her. 
Adieu.  You  shall  have  her,  Master  Brook; 
Master  Brook,  you  shall  cuckold  Ford.      [Exit. 

Ford.  Hum!    ha!    is  this  a  vision?   is  this  a  dream? 

do  I  sleep?  Master  Ford,  awake!  awake,  140 
Master  Ford!  there  's  a  hole  made  in  your  best 
coat.  Master  Ford.  This  'tis  to  be  married  !  this 
'tis  to  have  linen  and  buck-baskets!  Well,  I 
will  proclaim  myself  what  I  am :  I  will  now  take 
the  lecher;  he  is  at  my  house;  he  cannot  'scape 
me;  'tis  impossible  he  should;  he  cannot  creep 
into  a  half-penny  purse,  nor  into  a  pepper-box: 
but,  lest  the  devil  that  guides  him  should  aid 
him,  I  will  search  impossible  places.  Though 
what  I  am  I  cannot  avoid,  yet  to  be  what  I  150 
would  not  shall  not  make  me  tame:  if  I  have 
horns  to  make  one  mad,  let  the  proverb  go  with 
me, — I  '11  be  horn  mad.  [Exit. 


90 


or  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  i. 

ACT   FOURTH. 
Scene  I. 

A  street. 
Enter  Mistress  Page,  Mistress  Quickly,  and  William. 

Mrs  Page.  Is  he  at  Master  Ford's  already,  think'st 
thou? 

Quick.  Sure  he  Is  by  this,  or  will  be  presently :  but, 
truly,  he  is  very  courageous  mad  about  his 
throwing  into  the  water.  Mistress  Ford  desires 
you  to  come  suddenly. 

Mrs  Page.  I  '11  be  with  her  by  and  by ;  I  '11  but  bring 
my  young  man  here  to  school.  Look,  where  his 
master  comes ;   'tis  a  playing-day,  I  see. 

Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

How  now,  Sir  Hugh !   no  school  to-day  ?  lo 

Evans.  No;   Master  Slender  is  let  the  boys  leave  to 

play. 
Quick.  Blessing  of  his  heart! 
Mrs  Page.  Sir    Hugh,    my   husband    says    my    son 

profits  nothing  in  the  world  at  his  book.     I  pray 

you,  ask  him  some  questions  in  his  accidence. 
Evans.  Come  hither,  William ;    hold  up  your  head ; 

come. 
Mrs  Page.  Come  on,   sirrah ;    hold  up  your  head ; 

answer  your  master,  be  not  afraid.  20 

Evans.  William,  how  manv  numbers  is  in  nouns? 
Will.  Two. 
Quick.  Truly,  I  thought  there  had  been  one  number 

more,  because  they  say,  '  Od's  nouns.' 

91 


Act  IV.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVES 

Evans.  Peace  your  tattlings !  What  is  '  fair,'  Wil- 
liam? 

Will  Pulcher. 

Quick.  Polecats !  there  are  fairer  things  than  pole- 
cats, sure. 

Evans.  You  are  a  very  simplicity  'oman  :  I  pray  you,     30 
peace. — What  is  '  lapis,'  William  ? 

Will  A  stone. 

Evans.  And  what  is  '  a  stone,'  William? 

Will  A  pebble. 

Evans.  No,  it  is  '  lapis  ' :  I  pray  you,  remember  in 
your  prain. 

Will  Lapis. 

Evans.  That  is  a  good  William.  What  is  he,  Wil- 
liam, that  does  lend  articles? 

Will.  Articles   are   borrowed   of   the   pronoun,   and     40 
be  thus  declined,  Singulariter,  nominativo,  hie, 
hsec,  hoc. 

Evans.  Nominativo,  hig,  hag,  hog ;  pray  you,  mark : 
genitivo,  hujus.  Well,  what  is  your  accusative 
case? 

Will  Accusativo,  hinc. 

Evans.  I  pray  you,  have  your  remembrance,  child ; 
accusativo,  hung,  hang,  hog. 

Quick.  '  Hang-hog '  is  Latin  for  bacon,  I  warrant 
you. 

Evans.  Leave  your  prabbles,   'oman. — What  is  the     50 
focative  case,  WiUiam. 

Will  O, — vocativo,  O. 

Evans.  Remember,  William ;    focative  is  caret. 

Quick.  And  that 's  a  good  root. 

Evans.  'Oman,  forbear. 

Mrs  Page.  Peace! 

92 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  i. 

Evans.  What  is  your  genitive  case  plural,  William  ? 

IVill.  Genitive  case ! 

Evans.  Ay. 

Will.  Genitive, — horum,  harum,  horum.  60 

Quick.  Vengeance  of  Jenny's  case  !  fie  on  her!  never 
name  her,  child,  if  she  be  a  whore. 

Evans.  For  shame,  'oman. 

Quick.  You  do  ill  to  teach  the  child  such  words : — he 
teaches  him  to  hick  and  to  hack,  which  they  '11  do 
fast  enough  of  themselves,  and  to  call  '  horum  ' : 
— fie  upon  you  ! 

Evans.  'Oman,  art  thou  lunatics?   hast  thou  no  un- 
derstandings for  thy  cases,  and  the  numbers  of 
the  genders  ?    Thou  art  as  foolish  Christian  crea-     70 
tures  as  I  would  desires. 

Mrs  Page.  Prithee,  hold  thy  peace. 

Evans.  Show  me  now,  William,  some  declensions  of 
your  pronouns. 

WilL  Forsooth,  I  have  forgot. 

Evans.  It  is  qui,  quae,  quod:  if  you  forget  your 
'  quies,'  your  '  quses,'  and  your  '  quods,'  you 
must  be  preeches.     Go  your  ways,  and  play ;  go. 

Mrs  Page.  He  is  a  better  scholar  than  I  thought  he     80 
was. 

Evans.  He  is  a  good  sprag  memory.  Farewell,  Mis- 
tress Page. 

Mrs  Page.  Adieu,  good  Sir  Hugh.  [Exit  Sir  Hugh. 

Get  you  home,  boy.     Come,  we  stay  too  long. 

[Exeunt^ 


93 


Act  IV.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  II. 

A  room  in  Ford's  house. 
Enter  Falstaff  and  Mrs  Ford, 

Fal.  Mistress  Ford,  your  sorrow  hath  eaten  up  my 
sufferance.  I  see  you  are  obsequious  in  your 
love,  and  I  profess  requital  to  a  hair's  breadth ; 
not  only,  Mistress  Ford,  in  the  simple  office  of 
love,  but  in  all  the  accoutrement,  complement, 
and  ceremony  of  it.  But  are  you  sure  of  your 
husband  now? 

Mrs  Ford.  He  's  a-birding,  sweet  Sir  John. 

Mrs  Page.    [Within^   What,  ho,  gossip  Ford!    what, 

ho!  lo 

Mrs  Ford,  Step  into  the  chamber,  Sir  John. 

[Exit  Falstaif. 
Enter  Mistress  Page. 

Mrs  Page.  How  now,  sweetheart !  who  's  at  home 
besides  yourself? 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  none  but  mine  own  people. 

Mrs  Page.  Indeed ! 

Mrs  Ford.  No,  certainly.  [Aside  to  her]  Speak 
louder. 

Mrs  Page.  Truly,  I  am  so  glad  you  have  nobody 
here. 

Mrs  Ford.  Why? 

Mrs  Page.  Why,  woman,  your  husband  is  in  his  old 

lunes  again :  he  so  takes  on  yonder  with  my  20 
husband ;  so  rails  against  all  married  mankind ; 
so  curses  all  Eve's  daughters,  of  what  complex- 
ion soever ;  and  so  buffets  himself  on  the  fore- 
head, crying,  '  Peer  out,  peer  out ! '  that  any 
madness  I  ever  yet  beheld  seemed  but  tameness, 

94 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  ii. 

civility,  and  patience,  to  this  his  distemper  he  is 
in  now  :  I  am  glad  the  fat  knight  is  not  here. 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  does  he  talk  of  him? 

Mrs  Page.  Of  none  but  him;    and  swears  he  was 

carried  out,  the  last  time  he  searched  for  him,  30 
in  a  basket ;  protests  to  my  husband  he  is  now 
here ;  and  hath  drawn  him  and  the  rest  of  their 
company  from  their  sport,  to  make  another  ex- 
periment of  his  suspicion :  but  I  am  glad  the 
knight  is  not  here ;  now  he  shall  see  his  own 
foolery. 

Mrs  Ford.  How  near  is  he,  Mistress  Page? 

Mrs  Page.  Hard  by,  at  street  end;  he  will  be  here 
anon. 

Mrs  Ford.  I  am  undone ! — the  knight  is  here.  40 

Mrs  Page.  Why,  then,  you  are  utterly  shamed,  and 
he  's  but  a  dead  man.  What  a  woman  are  you! 
— Away  with  him,  away  with  him!  better  shame 
than  murder. 

Mrs  Ford.  Which  way  should  he  go  ?  how  should  I 
bestow  him?  Shall  I  put  him  into  the  basket 
again? 

Re-enter  Falstaif. 

Fal.  No,  I  '11  come  no  more  i'  the  basket.     May  I  not 

go  out  ere  he  come  ? 
Mrs  Page.  Alas,   three   of   Master   Ford's   brothers    50 

watch   the    door   with   pistols,   that   none   shall 

issue  out;    otherwise  you  might  slip  away  ere 

he  came.     But  what  make  you  here? 
Fal.  What    shall    I    do? — I'll    creep    up    into    the 

chimney. 
Mrs  Ford.  There  they  always  use  to  discharge  their 

birding-pieces.     Creep  into  the  kiln-hole. 

95 


Act  IV.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Fal.  Where  is  it? 

Mrs  Ford.  He  will  see  there,  on  my  word.     Neither 
press,  coffer,  chest,  trunk,  well,  vault,  but  he 
hath  an  abstract  for  the  remembrance  of  such     60 
places,  and  goes  to  them  by  his  note :    there  is 
no  hiding  you  in  the  house. 

Fal.  I  '11  go  out,  then. 

Mrs  Page.  If  you  go  out  in  your  own  semblance, 
you  die,  Sir  John.  Unless  you  go  out  dis- 
guised,— 

Mrs  Ford.  How  might  we  disguise  him? 

Mrs  Page.  Alas  the  day,  I  know  not!     There  is  no 
woman's  gown  big  enough  for  him;    otherwise 
he  might  put  on  a  hat,  a  muffler,  and  a  ker-     70 
chief,  and  so  escape. 

Fal.  Good  hearts,  devise  something:  any  extremity 
rather  than  a  mischief. 

Mrs  Ford.  My  maid's  aunt,  the  fat  woman  of  Brent- 
ford, has  a  gown  above. 

Mrs  Page.  On  my  word,  it  will  serve  him ;  she  's  as 
big  as  he  is:  and  there's  her  thrummed  hat, 
and  her  muffler  too.     Run  up,  Sir  John. 

Mrs  Ford.  Go,  go,  sweet  Sir  John:    Mistress  Page 

and  I  will  look  some  linen  for  your  head.  80 

Mrs  Page.  Quick,    quick!     we'll    come    dress    you 

straight:  put  on  the  gown  the  while.      [Exit  Falstaif. 

Mrs  Ford.  I  would  my  husband  would  meet  him 
in  this  shape:  he  cannot  abide  the  old  woman 
of  Brentford;  he  swears  she 's  a  witch;  forbade 
her  my  house,  and  hath  threatened  to  beat  her. 

Mrs  Page.  Heaven  guide  him  to  thy  husband's  cud- 
gel, and  the  devil  guide  his  cudgel  afterwards ! 

96 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  ii. 

Mrs  Ford.  But  is  my  husband  coming  ? 

Mrs  Page.  Ay,  in  good  sadness,  is  he;   and  talks  of     90 

the  basket  too,  howsoever  he  hath  had  intelU- 

gence. 
Mrs  Ford.  We  '11  try  that ;   for  I  '11  appoint  my  men 

to  carry  the  basket  again,  to  meet  him  at  the 

door  with  it,  as  they  did  last  time. 
Mrs  Page.  Nay,  but  he  '11  be  here  presently :    let 's 

go  dress  him  like  the  witch  of  Brentford. 
Mrs  Ford.  I  '11  first  direct  my  men  what  they  shall  do 

with  the  basket.     Go  up ;    I  '11  bring  linen  for 

him  straight.  [Exit.   100 

Mrs  Page.  Hang  him,  dishonest  varlet !    we  cannot 
misuse  him  enough. 

We  '11  leave  a  proof,  by  that  which  we  will  do. 

Wives  may  be  merry,  and  yet  honest  too : 

We  do  not  act  that  often  jest  and  laugh; 

Tis  old,  but  true, — Still  swine  eats  all  the  draff. 

[Exit, 

Re-enter  Mistress  Ford  zvith  two  Servants. 

Mrs  Ford.  Go,  sirs,  take  the  basket  again  on  your 
shoulders :  your  master  is  hard  at  door ;  if  he 
bid  you  set  it  down,  obey  him :  quickly,  dis- 
patch. [Exit,   no 

First  Serv.  Come,  come,  take  it  up. 

Sec.  Serv.  Pray  heaven,  it  be  not  full  of  knight  again. 

First  Serv.  I  hope  not ;  I  had  as  lief  bear  so  much 
lead. 

Enter  Ford,  Page,  Shallozv,  Caius,  and  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Ford.  Ay,  but  if  it  prove  true,  Master  Page,  have 
you  any  way  then  to  unfool  me  again?     Set 

97 


Act  IV.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

down  the  basket,  villain!  Somebody  call  my 
wife.  Youth  in  a  basket ! — O  you  pandarly  ras- 
cals !  there  's  a  knot,  a  ging,  a  pack,  a  conspiracy 
against  me :  now  shall  the  devil  be  shamed. — 
What,  wife,  I  say  ! — Come,  come  forth !  Behold  120 
what  honest  clothes  you  send  forth  to  bleaching! 

Page.  Why,  this  passes.  Master  Ford ;  you  are  not  to 
go  loose  any  longer ;  you  must  be  pinioned. 

Evans.  Why,  this  is  lunatics!   this  is  mad  as  a  mad 
dog! 

Shal.  Indeed,  Master  Ford,  this  is  not  well,  indeed. 

Ford.  So  say  I  too,  sir. 

Re-enter  Mistress  Ford. 

Come  hither.  Mistress  Ford ;   Mistress  Ford,  the 
honest  woman,   the  modest  wife,  the  virtuous 
creature,  that  hath  the  jealous  fool  to  her  hus-  130 
band !     I  suspect  without  cause,  mistress,  do  I  ? 

Mrs  Ford.  Heaven  be  my  witness  you  do,  if  you  sus- 
pect me  in  any  dishonesty. 

Ford.  Well  said,  brazen-face!    hold  it  out.     Come 

forth,  sirrah !  [Pulling  clothes  out  of  the  basket. 

Page.  This  passes ! 

Mrs  Ford.  Are  you  not   ashamed  ?    let  the  clothes 
alone. 

Ford.  I  shall  find  you  anon. 

Evans.  'Tis  unreasonable!  *  Will  you  take  up  your  140 
wife's  clothes?     Come  away. 

Ford.  Empty  the  basket,  I  say ! 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  man,  why  ? 

Ford.  Master  Page,  as  I  am  a  man,  there  was  one 
conveyed   out   of   my   house   yesterday   in   this 

98 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  ii. 

basket :  why  may  not  he  be  there  again  ?  In  my 
house  I  am  sure  he  is:  my  intelligence  is  true; 
my  jealousy  is  reasonable.  Pluck  me  out  all  the 
linen. 

Mrs  Ford.  If  you  find  a  man  there,  he  shall  die  a  150 
flea's  death. 

Page.  Here  's  no  man. 

Shal.  By  my  fidelity,  this  is  not  well,  Master  Ford; 
this  wrongs  you. 

Evans.  Master  Ford,  you  must  pray,  and  not  follow 
the  imaginations  of  your  own  heart :  this  is 
jealousies. 

Ford.  Well,  he  's  not  here  I  seek  for. 

Page.  No,  nor  nowhere  else  but  in  your  brain. 

Ford.  Help  to  search  my  house  this  one  time.  If  I  160 
find  not  what  I  seek,  show  no  colour  for  my  ex- 
tremity ;  let  me  for  ever  be  your  table-sport ;  let 
them  say  of  me,  '  As  jealous  as  Ford,  that 
searched  a  hollow  walnut  for  his  wife's  leman." 
Satisfy  me  once  more;  once  more  search  with 
me. 

Mrs  Ford.  What,  ho,  Mistress  Page !  come  you  and 
the  old  woman  down ;  my  husband  will  come 
into  the  chamber. 

Ford.  Old  woman !   what  old  woman  's  that  ? 

Mrs  Ford.  Why,  it  is  my  maid's  aunt  of  Brentford.      170 

Ford.  A  witch,  a  quean,  an  old  cozening  quean ! 
Have  I  not  forbid  her  my  house?  She  comes 
of  errands,  does  she  ?  We  are  simple  men  ;  we 
do  not  know  what 's  brought  to  pass  under  the 
profession  of  fortune-telling.  She  works  by 
charms,  by  spells,  by  the  figure,  and  such  daub- 
ery  as  this  is    beyond  our  element:    we  know 

99 


Act  IV.  Sc.  ii.  MERRY  WIVES 

nothing.     Come  down,  you  witch,  you  hag,  you ; 
come  down,  I  say! 
Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  good,  sweet  husband! — Good  gen-  i8o 
tlemen,  let  him  not  strike  the  old  woman. 

Re-enter  Fahtaff  in  woman's  clothes,  and  Mistress  Page. 

Mrs  Page.  Come,  Mother  Prat ;   come,  give  me  your 

hand. 
Ford.  I  '11  prat  her.    [Beating  kwi]   Out  of  my  door, 

you  witch,  you  rag,  you  baggage,  you  polecat, 

you  ronyon !    out,  out !    I  '11  conjure  you,   I  '11 

fortune-tell  you.  [Exit  Falstaff. 

Mrs  Page.  Are  you  not  ashamed  ?     I  think  you  have 

killed  the  poor  woman. 
Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  he  will  do  it.     'Tis  a  goodly  credit  190 

for  you. 
Ford.  Hang  her,  witch  ! 
Evans.  By  yea  and  no,  I  think  the  'oman  is  a  witch 

indeed :    I  like  not  when  a  'oman  has  a  great 

peard ;  I  spy  a  great  peard  under  his  muffler. 
Ford.  Will  you  follow,  gentlemen?     I  beseech  you, 

follow;    see  but  the  issue  of  my  jealousy:    if  I 

cry  out  thus  upon  no  trail,  never  trust  me  when 

I  open  again. 
Page.  Let 's  obey  his  humour  a  little  further :   come,  200 

gentlemen. 

[Exeunt  Ford,  Page,  Shal.,  Cains,  and  Evan 
Mrs  Page.  Trust  me,  he  beat  him  most  pitifully. 
Mrs  Ford.  Nay,  by  the  mass,  that  he  did  not ;  he  beat 

him  most  unpitifully  methought. 
Mrs  Page.  I  '11  have  the  cudgel  hallowed  and  hung 

o'er  the  altar ;   it  hath  done  meritorious  service. 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  iii. 

Mrs  Ford.  What  think  you  ?  may  we,  with  the  war- 
rant of  womanhood  and  the  witness  of  a  good 
conscience,  pursue  him  with  any  further  re- 
venge ? 

Mrs  Page.  The  spirit  of  wantonness  is,  sure,  scared  210 
out  of  him :    if  the  devil  have  him  not  in  fee- 
simple,  with  fine  and  recovery,  he  will  never,  I 
think,  in  the  way  of  waste,  attempt  us  again. 

Mrs  Ford.  Shall  we  tell  our  husbands  how  we  have 
served  him? 

Mrs  Page.  Yes,  by  all  means ;  if  it  be  but  to  scrape 
the  figures  out  of  your  husband's  brains.  If 
they  can  find  in  their  hearts  the  poor  unvirtuous 
fat  knight  shall  be  any  further  afflicted,  we  two 
will  still  be  the  ministers.  220 

Mrs  Ford.  I  '11  warrant  they  '11  have  him  publicly 
shamed :  and  methinks  there  would  be  no  period 
to  the  jest,  should  he  not  be  publicly  shamed. 

Mrs  Page.  Come,  to  the  forge  with  it,  then ;  shape 
it :  I  would  not  have  things  cool.  [Exeunt. 

Scene  III. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn, 
Enter  Host  and  Bardolph, 

Bard.  Sir,  the  Germans  desire  to  have  three  of  your 
horses :  the  duke  himself  will  be  to-morrow  at 
court,  and  they  are  going  to  meet  him. 

Host,  What  duke  should  that  be  comes  so  secretly? 
I  hear  not  of  him  in  the  court.  Let  me  speak 
with  the  gentlemen :  they  speak  English  ? 

lOI 


Act  IV.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Bard.  Ay,  sir ;    I  '11  call  them  to  you. 

Host.  They  shall  have  my  horses ;    but  I  '11  make 
them  pay ;    I  '11  sauce  them :   they  have  had  my 
house  a  week  at  command  ;   I  have  turned  away     lo 
my  other  guests  :  they  must  come  off ;  I  '11  sauce 
them.     Come.  [Exeunt. 

Scene  IV. 

A  room  in  Ford's  house. 

Enter  Page,  Ford,  Mistress  Page,  Mistress  Ford,  and 
Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Evans.  'Tis  one  of  the  best  discretions  of  a  'oman  as 

ever  I  did  look  upon. 
Page.  And  did  he  send  you  both  these  letters  at  an 

instant  ? 
Mrs  Page.  Within  a  quarter  of  an  hour. 
Ford.  Pardon  me,  wife.     Henceforth  do  what  thou  wilt ; 

I  rather  will  suspect  the  sun  with  cold 

Than  thee  with  wantonness :    now  doth  thy  honour 
stand, 

In  him  that  was  of  late  an  heretic, 

As  firm  as  faith. 
Page.  'Tis  well,  'tis  well ;   no  more :         lo 

Be  not  as  extreme  in  submission 

As  in  offence. 

But  let  our  plot  go  forward :  let  our  wives 

Yet  once  again,  to  make  us  public  sport. 

Appoint  a  meeting  with  this  old  fat  fellow. 

Where  we  may  take  him,  and  disgrace  him  for  it. 
Ford.  There  is  no  better  way  than  that  they  spoke  of. 
Page.  How  ?  to  send  him  word  they  '11  meet  him  in 

102 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  iv. 

the   Park  at  midnight?     Fie,  fie!    he'll  never 
come.  20 

Evans.  You  say  he  has  been  thrown  in  the  rivers, 
and  has  been  grievously  peaten,  as  an  old  'oman : 
methinks  there  should  be  terrors  in  him  that  he 
should  not  come  ;  methinks  his  flesh  is  punished, 
he  shall  have  no  desires. 

Page.  So  think  I  too. 

Mrs  Ford.  Devise   but    how    you  '11    use   him    when    he 
comes, 
And  let  us  two  devise  to  bring  him  thither. 

Mrs  Page.  There   is   an   old   tale   goes   that   Heme   the 
hunter, 
Sometime  a  keeper  here  in  Windsor  forest,  30 

Doth  all  the  winter-time,  at  still  midnight, 
Walk  round  about  an  oak,  with  great  ragg'd  horns ; 
And  there  he  blasts  the  tree,  and  takes  the  cattle. 
And  makes  milch-kine  yield  blood,  and  shakes  a  chain 
In  a  most  hideous  and  dreadful  manner: 
You  have  heard  of  such  a  spirit ;  and  well  you  know 
The  superstitious  idle-headed  eld 
Received,  and  did  deliver  to  our  age. 
This  tale  of  Heme  the  hunter  for  a  truth. 

Page.  Why,  yet  there  want  not  many  that  do  fear  40 

In  deep  of  night  to  walk  by  this  Heme's  oak : 
But  what  of  this  ? 

Mrs  Ford.  Marry,  this  is  our  device; 

That  FalStaff  at  that  oak  shall  meet  with  us. 

Page.  Well,  let  it  not  be  doubted  but  he  '11  come : 

And  in  this  shape  when  you  have  brought  him  thither, 
What  shall  be  done  with  him  ?  what  is  your  plot  ? 

Mrs  Page.  That  likewise  have  we  thought  upon,  and  thus : 
Nan  Page  my  daughter  and  my  little  son 
And  three  or  four  more  of  their  growth  we  '11  dress 

103 


Act  IV.  Sc.  iv.  MERRY  WIVES 

Like  urchins,  ouphes  and  fairies,  green  and  white,  50 

With  rounds  of  waxen  tapers  on  their  heads, 

And  rattles  in  their  hands :   upon  a  sudden, 

As  Falstaff,  she,  and  I,  are  newly  met, 

Let  them  from  forth  a  sawpit  rush  at  once 

With  some  diffused  song:   upon  their  sight, 

We  two  in  great  amazedness  will  fly : 

Then  let  them  all  encircle  him  about. 

And,  fairy-like,  to  pinch  the  unclean  knight ; 

And  ask  him  why,  that  hour  of  fairy  revel. 

In  their  so  sacred  paths  he  dares  to  tread  60 

In  shape  profane. 

Mrs  Ford.  And  till  he  tell  the  truth, 

Let  the  supposed  fairies  pinch  him  sound. 
And  burn  him  with  their  tapers. 

Mrs  Page.  The  truth  being  known, 

We  '11  all  present  ourselves,  dis-horn  the  spirit. 
And  mock  him  home  to  Windsor. 

Ford.  The  children  must 

Be  practised  well  to  this,  or  they  '11  ne'er  do  't. 

Evans.  I  will  teach  the  children  their  behaviours ; 
and  I  will  be  like  a  jack-an-apes  also,  to  burn  the 
knight  with  my  taber. 

Ford.  That  will  be  excellent.     I  '11  go  buy  them  viz-     70 
ards. 

Mrs  Page.  My  Nan  shall  be  the  queen  of  all  the  fairies. 
Finely  attired  in  a  robe  of  white. 

Page.  That  silk  will  I  go  buy.      [Aside}     And  in  that 
time 
Shall  Master  Slender  steal  my  Nan  away, 
And  marry  her  at  Eton.    Go  send  to  Falstaff  straight. 

Ford.  Nay,  I  '11  to  him  again  in  name  of  Brook : 
He  '11  tell  me  all  his  purpose :  sure,  he  '11  come. 
104 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  v. 

Mrs  Page.  Fear  not  you  that.     Go  get  us  properties 

And  tricking  for  our  fairies.  80 

Evans.  Let  us  about  it :  it  is  admirable  pleasures  and 
fery  honest  knaveries. 

[Exeunt  Page,  Ford,  and  Evans. 

Mrs  Page.  Go,  Mistress  Ford. 

Send  quickly  to  Sir  John,  to  know  his  mind. 

[Exit  Mrs  Ford. 
I  '11  to  the  doctor :  he  hath  my  good  will, 
And  none  but  he,  to  marry  with  Nan  Page. 
That  Slender,  though  well  landed,  is  an  idiot ;    - 
And  he  my  husband  best  of  all  affects. 
The  doctor  is  well  money'd,  and  his  friends 
Potent  at  court :  he,  none  but  he,  shall  have  her,     90 
Though  twenty  thousand  worthier  come  to  crave  her. 

[Exit. 

Scene  V. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn. 
Enter  Host  and  Simple. 

Host.  What  wouldst  thou  have,  boor?  what,  thick- 
skin  ?  speak,  breathe,  discuss ;  brief,  short, 
quick,  snap. 

Sim.  Marry,  sir,  I  come  to  speak  with  Sir  John  Fal- 
staff  from  Master  Slender. 

Host.  There  's  his  chamber,  his  house,  his  castle,  his 
standing-bed,  and  truckle-bed  ;  'tis  painted  about 
with  the  story  of  the  Prodigal,  fresh  and  new. 
Go  knock  and  call ;  he  '11  speak  like  an  Anthro- 
pophaginian  unto  thee :   knock,  I  say.  10 

Sim.  There  's  an  old  woman,  a  fat  woman,  gone  up 

105 


Act  IV.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

into  his  chamber :  I  '11  be  so  bold  as  stay,  sir, 
till  she  come  down;  I  come  to  speak  with  her, 
indeed. 

Host.  Ha !  a  fat  woman !  the  knight  may  be  robbed : 
I  '11  call. — Bully  knight !  bully  Sir  John  !  speak 
from  thy  lungs  military:  art  thou  there?  it  is 
thine  host,  thine  Ephesian,  calls. 

Fal.    [Above']   How  now,  mine  host! 

Host.  Here  's  a  Bohemian-Tartar  tarries  the  coming     20 
down  of  thy  fat  woman.     Let  her  descend,  bully, 
let  her  descend;   my  chambers  are  honourable: 
fie!   privacy?   fie! 

Enter  Falstaif. 

Fal.  There  was,  mine  host,  an  old  fat  woman  even 

now  with  me ;   but  she  's  gone. 
Sim.  Pray  you,  sir,  was  't  not  the  wise  woman  of 

Brentford  ? 
Fal.  Ay,  marry,  was  it,  muscle-shell:    what  would 

you  with  her? 
Sim.  My  master,  sir.  Master  Slender,  sent  to  her,     30 

seeing  her  go  through  the  streets,  to  know,  sir, 

whether  one  Nym,  sir,  that  beguiled  him  of  a 

chain,  had  the  chain  or  no. 
Fal.  I  spake  with  the  old  woman  about  it. 
Sim.  And  what  says  she,  I  pray,  sir  ? 
Fal.  Marry,  she  says  that  the  very  same  man  that 

beguiled  Master  Slender  of  his  chain  cozened 

him  of  it. 
Sim.  I  would  I  could  have  spoken  with  the  woman 

herself ;   I  had  other  things  to  have  spoken  with     40 

her  too  from  him. 

io6 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  v. 

Fal.  What  are  they  ?  let  us  know. 

Host.  Ay,  come;   quick. 

Sim.  I  may  not  conceal  them,  sir. 

Host.  Conceal  them,  or  thou  diest. 

Sim.  Why,  sir,  they  were  nothing  but  about  Mistress 
Anne  Page ;  to  know  if  it  were  my  master's  for- 
tune to  have  her  or  no. 

Fal.  'Tis,  'tis  his  fortune. 

Sim.  What,  sir  1  50 

Fal.  To  have  her,  or  no.  Go;  say  the  woman  told 
me  so. 

Sim.  May  I  be  bold  to  say  so,  sir  ? 

Fal.  Ay,  sir  ;  like  who  more  bold. 

Sim.  I  thank  your  worship :   I  shall  make  my  master 

glad  with  these  tidings.  [Exit. 

Host.  Thou  art  clerkly,  thou  art  clerkly,  Sir  John. 
Was  there  a  wise  woman  with  thee  ? 

FaL  Ay,  that  there  was,  mine  host;    one  that  hath 

taught  me  more  wit  than  ever  I  learned  before     60 
in  my  life ;    and  I  paid  nothing  for  it  neither, 
but  was  paid  for  my  learning. 

Enter  Bardolph. 

Bard.  Out,  alas,  sir!    cozenage,  mere  cozenage! 

Host.  Where  be  my  horses  ?  speak  well  of  them,  var- 
letto. 

Bard.  Run  away  with  the  cozeners :  for  so  soon  as 
I  came  beyond  Eton,  they  threw  me  off,  from 
behind  one  of  them,  in  a  slough  of  mire;  and 
set  spurs  and  away,  like  three  German  devils, 
three  Doctor  Faustuses.  70 

Host.  They  are  gone  but  to  meet  the  duke,  villain : 

107 


Act  IV.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

do  not  say  they  be  fled;    Germans  are  honest 
men. 

Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans. 

Evans.  Where  is  mine  host? 

Host.  What  is  the  matter,  sir  ? 

Evans.  Have  a  care  of  your  entertainments :  there  is 
a  friend  of  mine  come  to  town,  tells  me  there  is 
three  cozen-germans  that  has  cozened  all  the 
hosts  of  Readins,  of  Maidenhead,  of  Colebrook, 
of  horses  and  money.  I  tell  you  for  good  will,  80 
look  you :  you  are  wise,  and  full  of  gibes  and 
vlouting-stocks,  and  'tis  not  convenient  you 
should  be  cozened.     Fare  you  well.  \^Exit. 

Enter  Doctor  Caius. 

Cains.  Vere  is  mine  host  de  Jarteer  ? 

Host.  Here,  master  doctor,  in  perplexity  and  doubt- 
ful dilemma. 

Caius,  I  cannot  tell  vat  is  dat :  but  it  is  tell-a  me  dat 
you  make  grand  preparation  for  a  duke  de  Jam- 
any:  by  my  trot,  dere  is  no  duke  dat  the  court 
is  know  to  come.    I  tell  you  for  good  vill :  adieu.     90 

[Exit, 

Host.  Hue  and  cry,  villain,  go! — Assist  me,  knight. 
— I  am  undone ! — Fly,  run,  hue  and  cry,  villain ! 
— I  am  undone !  [Exeunt  Host  and  Bard. 

Fal.  I  would  all  the  world  might  be  cozened ;  for  I 
have  been  cozened  and  beaten  too.  If  it  should 
come  to  the  ear  of  the  court,  how  I  have  been 
transformed,  and  how  my  transformation  hath 
been  washed  and  cudgelled,  they  would  melt  me 
out  of  my  fat  drop  by  drop,  and  liquor  fisher-  100 

108 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  v. 

men's  boots  with  me:  I  warrant  they  would 
whip  me  with  their  fine  wits  till  I  were  as  crest- 
fallen as  a  dried  pear.  I  never  prospered  since 
I  forswore  myself  at  primero.  Well,  if  my  wind 
were  but  long  enough  to  say  my  prayers,  I  would 
repent. 

Enter  Mistress  Quickly. 

Now,  whence  come  you  ? 

Quick.  From  the  two  parties,  forsooth. 

Fal.  The  devil  take  one  party,  and  his  dam  the  other ! 

and  so  they  shall  be  both  bestowed.     I  have  suf-  no 
fered  more  for  their  sakes,  more  than  the  vil- 
lanous  inconstancy  of  man's  disposition  is  able  to 
bear. 

Quick.  And  have  not  they  suffered?  Yes,  I  war- 
rant ;  speciously  one  of  them ;  Mistress  Ford, 
good  heart,  is  beaten  black  and  blue,  that  you 
cannot  see  a  white  spot  about  her. 

Fal.  What  tell'st  thou  me  of  black  and  blue  ?  I  was 
beaten  myself  into  all  the  colours  of  the  rain- 
bow ;  and  I  was  like  to  be  apprehended  for  the 
witch  of  Brentford:  but  that  my  admirable  120 
dexterity  of  wit,  my  counterfeiting  the  action  of 
an  old  woman,  delivered  me,  the  knave  constable 
had  set  me  i'  the  stocks,  i'  the  common  stocks, 
for  a  witch. 

Quick.  Sir,  let  me  speak  with  you  in  your  chamber : 
you  shall  hear  how  things  go;  and,  I  warrant, 
to  your  content.  Here  is  a  letter  will  say 
somewhat.  Good  hearts,  what  ado  here  is  to 
bring  you  together !  Sure,  one  of  you  does  not 
serve  heaven  well,  that  you  are  so  crossed.  130 

Fal.  Come  up  into  my  chamber.  {Exeunt. 

109 


Act  IV.  Sc,  vi.  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  VL 

The  same.     Another  room  in  the  Garter  Inn, 

Enter  Fenton  and  Host. 

Host.  Master  Fenton,  talk  not  to  me;    my  mind  is 
heavy :    I  will  give  over  all. 

Fent.  Yet  hear  me  speak.     Assist  me  in  my  purpose, 
And,  as  I  am  a  gentleman,  I  '11  give  thee 
A  hundred  pound  in  gold  more  than  your  loss. 

Host.  I  will  hear  you.  Master  Fenton ;   and  I  will  at 
the  least  keep  your  counsel. 

Fent.  From  time  to  time  I  have  acquainted  you 
With  the  dear  love  I  bear  to  fair  Anne  Page ; 
Who  mutually  hath  answer'd  my  affection,  lo 

So  far  forth  as  herself  might  be  her  chooser, 
Even  to  my  wish :  I  have  a  letter  from  her 
Of  such  contents  as  you  will  wonder  at ; 
The  mirth  whereof  so  larded  with  my  matter, 
That  neither  singly  can  be  manifested, 
Without  the  show  of  both  ;  fat  Falstaff 
Hath  a  great  scene:  the  image  of  the  jest 
I  '11  show  you  here  at  large.     Hark,  good  mine  host. 
To-night  at  Heme's  oak,  just  'twixt  twelve  and  one. 
Must  my  sweet  Nan  present  the  Fairy  Queen ;        20 
The  purpose  why,  is  here :   in  which  disguise, 
While  other  jests  are  something  rank  on  foot, 
Her  father  hath  commanded  her  to  slip 
Away  with  Slender,  and  with  him  at  Eton 
Immediately  to  marry :  she  hath  consented : 
Now,  sir, 
Her  mother,  even  strong  against  that  match, 

no 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  IV.  Sc.  vi. 

And  firm  for  Doctor  Caius,  hath  appointed 

That  he  shall  likewise  shuffle  her  away, 

While  other  sports  are  tasking  of  their  minds,        30 

And  at  the  deanery,  where  a  priest  attends, 

Straight  marry  her:   to  this  her  mother's  plot 

She  seemingly  obedient  likewise  hath 

Made  promise  to  the  doctor.     Now,  thus  it  rests : 

Her  father  means  she  shall  be  all  in  white ; 

And  in  that  habit,  when  Slender  sees  his  time, 

To  take  her  by  the  hand  and  bid  her  go, 

She  shall  go  with  him :  her  mother  hath  intended. 

The  better  to  denote  her  to  the  doctor, — 

For  they  must  all  be  mask'd  and  vizarded, —  40 

That  quaint  in  green  she  shall  be  loose  enrobed. 

With  ribands  pendent,  flaring  'bout  her  head ; 

And  when  the  doctor  spies  his  vantage  ripe. 

To  pinch  her  by  the  hand,  and,  on  that  token, 

The  maid  hath  given  consent  to  go  with  him. 

Host.  Which  means  she  to  deceive,  father  or  mother  ? 

Pent.  Both,  my  good  host,  to  go  along  with  me : 

And  here  it  rests, — that  you  '11  procure  the  vicar 
To  stay  for  me  at  church  'twixt  twelve  and  one, 
And,  in  the  lawful  name  of  marrying,  50 

To  give  our  hearts  united  ceremony. 

Host.  Well,  husband  your  device ;  I  '11  to  the  vicar : 
Bring  you  the  maid,  you  shall  not  lack  a  priest. 

Pent.  So  shall  I  evermore  be  bound  to  thee ; 

Besides,  I  '11  make  a  present  recompense.        [Exeunt. 


Ill 


Act  V.  Sc.  i.  MERRY  WIVEvS 

ACT   FIFTH. 
Scene  I. 

A  room  in  the  Garter  Inn. 
Enter  Falstaff  and  Mistress  Quickly. 

Fal.  Prithee,  no  more  prattling ;  go.  I  '11  hold. 
This  is  the  third  time ;  I  hope  good  luck  lies  in 
odd  numbers.  Away!  go.  They  say  there  is 
divinity  in  odd  numbers,  either  in  nativity, 
chance,  or  death.     Away ! 

Quick.  I  '11  provide  you  a  chain ;  and  I  '11  do  what  I 
can  to  get  you  a  pair  of  horns. 

Fal.  Away,  I  say ;   time  wears :  hold  up  your  head, 

and  mince.  [Exit  Mrs  Quickly. 

Enter  Ford. 

How  now.  Master  Brook !     Master  Brook,  the     lo 
matter  will  be  known  to-night,  or  never.     Be 
you  in  the  Park  about  midnight,  at  Heme's  oak, 
and  you  shall  see  wonders. 

Ford.  Went  you  not  to  her  yesterday,  sir,  as  you  told 
me  you  had  appointed  ? 

Fal.  I  went  to  her,  Master  Brook,  as  you  see,  like 
a  poor  old  man:  but  I  came  from  her.  Master 
Brook,  like  a  poor  old  woman.  That  same  knave  ' 
Ford,  her  husband,  hath  the  finest  mad  devil  of 
jealousy  in  him,  Master  Brook,  that  ever  gov-  20 
erned  frenzy.  I  will  tell  you : — he  beat  me 
grievously,  in  the  shape  of  a  woman  ;  for  in  the 
shape  of  man.  Master  Brook,  I  fear  not  Goliath 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  ii. 

with  a  weaver's  beam ;  because  I  know  also  life 
is  a  shuttle.  I  am  in  haste ;  go  along  with  me : 
I  '11  tell  you  all,  Master  Brook.  Since  I  plucked 
geese,  played  truant,  and  whipped  top,  I  knew 
not  what  'twas  to  be  beaten  till  lately.  Follow 
me :  I  'U  tell  you  strange  things  of  this  knave 
Ford,  on  whom  to-night  I  will  be  revenged,  and  30 
I  will  deliver  his  wife  into  your  hand.  Follow. 
Strange  things  in  hand.  Master  Brook.     Follow. 

[Exeunt. 

Scene  II. 

Windsor  Park. 
Enter  Page,  Shallozv,  and  Slender. 

Page.  Come,  come ;  we  '11  couch  i'  the  castle-ditch 
till  we  see  the  light  of  our  fairies.  Remember, 
son  Slender,  my  daughter. 

Slen.  Ay,  forsooth ;  I  have  spoke  with  her,  and  we 
have  a  nay-word  how  to  know  one  another:  I 
come  to  her  in  white,  and  cry  '  mum' ;  she  cries 
'  budget ' ;  and  by  that  we  know  one  another. 

Shal.  That 's  good  too :  but  what  needs  either  your 
'  mum  '  or  her  '  budget '  ?  the  white  will  decipher 
her  well  enough.     It  hath  struck  ten  o'clock.  10 

Page.  The  night  is  dark;  light  and  spirits  will  be- 
come it  well.  Heaven  prosper  our  sport!  No 
man  means  evil  but  the  devil,  and  we  shall  know 
him  by  his  horns.     Let 's  away ;   follow  me. 

[Exeunt. 


113 


Act  V.  Sc.  iii.  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  III. 

A  street  leading  to  the  Park. 
Enter  Mistress  Page,  Mistress  Ford,  and  Doctor  Caius, 

Mrs  Page.  Master  Doctor,  my  daughter  is  in  green : 
when  you  see  your  time,  take  her  by  the  hand, 
away  with  her  to  the  deanery,  and  dispatch  it 
quickly.  Go  before  into  the  Park:  we  two 
must  go  together. 

Cains.  I  know  vat  I  have  to  do.     Adieu. 

Mrs  Page.  Fare  you  well,  sir.      [Exit  Caius.]     My 
husband  will  not  rejoice  so  much  at  the  abuse 
of  Falstaff  as  he  will  chafe  at  the  doctor's  marry- 
ing my  daughter:    but  'tis  no  matter,  better  a     lo 
little  chiding  than  a  great  deal  of  heart-break. 

Mrs  Ford.  Where  is  Nan  now  and  her  troop  of  fair- 
ies, and  the  Welsh  devil  Hugh  ? 

Mrs  Page.  They  are  all  couched  in  a  pit  hard  by 
Herne's  oak,  with  obscured  lights ;  which,  at  the 
very  instant  of  Falstaff's  and  our  meeting,  they 
will  at  once  display  to  the  night. 

Mrs  Ford.  That  cannot  choose  but  amaze  him. 

Mrs  Page.  If  he  be  not  amazed,  he  will  be  mocked ; 

if  he  be  amazed,  he  will  every  way  be  mocked.         20 

Mrs  Ford.  We  '11  betray  him  finely. 

Mrs  Page.  Against  such  lewdsters  and  their  lechery 
Those  that  betray  them  do  no  treachery. 

Mrs  Ford.  The  hour  draws  on.     To  the  oak,  to  the 

oak !  [Exeunt. 


114 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  iv.  v. 

Scene  IV. 

Windsor  Park. 

Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans  disguised,  zvith  others  as  Fairies, 

Evans.  Trib,  trib,  fairies ;  come ;  and  remember 
your  parts :  be  pold,  I  pray  you  ;  follow  me  into 
the  pit ;  and  when  I  give  the  watch-'ords,  do  as  I 
pid  you :  come,  come ;  trib,  trib.  [Exeunt. 

Scene  V. 

'Another  part  of  the  Park. 

Enter  Falstaff  disguised  as  Heme. 

Fal.  The  Windsor  bell  hath  struck  twelve ;  the  min- 
ute draws  on.  Now,  the  hot-blooded  gods  assist 
me !  Remember,  Jove,  thou  wast  a  bull  for  thy 
Europa;  love  set  on  thy  horns.  O  powerful 
love!  that,  in  some  respects,  makes  a  beast  a 
man ;  in  some  other,  a  man  a  beast.  You  were 
also,  Jupiter,  a  swan  for  the  love  of  Leda.  O 
omnipotent  Love!  how  near  the  god  drew  to 
the  complexion  of  a  goose!  A  fault  done  first 
in  the  form  of  a  beast ; — O  Jove,  a  beastly  fault !  lo 
And  then  another  fault  in  the  semblance  of  a 
fowl ; — think  on  't,  Jove  ;  a  foul  fault !  When 
gods  have  hot  backs,  what  shall  poor  men  do? 
For  me,  I  am  here  a  Windsor  stag;  and  the 
fattest,  I  think,  i'  the  forest.     Send  me  a  cool 

115 


Act  V.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

rut-time,  Jove,  or  who  can  blame  me  to  piss  my 
tallow  ? — Who  comes  here  ?   my  doe  ? 

Enter  Mistress  Ford  and  Mistress  Page, 

Mrs  Ford.  Sir  John !  art  thou  there,  my  deer  ?  my 
male  deer  ? 

Fal.  My  doe  with  the  black  scut !     Let  the  sky  rain     20 
potatoes ;    let  it  thunder  to  the  tune  of  Green 
Sleeves,  hail  kissing-comfits,  and  snow  eringoes ; 
let  there  come  a  tempest  of  provocation,  I  will 
shelter  me  here. 

Mrs  Ford.  Mistress  Page  is  come  with  me,  sweet- 
heart. 

Fal.  Divide  me  like  a  bribed  buck,  each  a  haunch :  I 
will  keep  my  sides  to  myself,  my  shoulders  for 
the  fellow  of  this  walk,  and  my  horns  I  bequeath 
your  husbands.  Am  I  a  woodman,  ha?  Speak 
I  like  Heme  the  hunter?  Why,  now  is  Cupid  30 
a  child  of  conscience ;  he  makes  restitution.  As 
I  am  a  true  spirit,  welcome !  {Noise  within, 

Mrs  Page.  Alas,  what  noise? 

Mrs  Ford.  Heaven  forgive  our  sins ! 

Fal.  What  should  this  be? 

Mrs  Ford, ^    .  ,  ._,  or 

Mrs  Page.  J  ^^^'^^'  ^^^^ '  f  ^^'^^'  ^^'" 

Fal.  I  think  the  devil  will  not  have  me  damned,  lest 
the  oil  that 's  in  me  should  set  hell  on  fire ;  he 
would  never  else  cross  me  thus. 

Enter  Sir  Hugh  Evans,  disgxiised  as  before;  Pistol,  as 
Hobgoblin;  Mistress  Quickly,  Anne  Page,  and 
others,  as  Fairies,  with  tapers. 

Quick.  Fairies,  black,  grey,  green,  and  white,  40 

You  moonshine  revellers,  and  shades  of  night, 

116 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  v. 

You  orphan  heirs  of  fixed  destiny, 
Attend  your  office  and  your  quaHty. 
Crier  HobgobHn,  make  the  fairy  oyes. 

Pist  Elves,  hst  your  names ;   silence,  you  airy  toyes. 
Cricket,  to  Windsor  chimneys  shalt  thou  leap : 
Where  fires  thou  find'st  unraked  and  hearths  un- 

swept, 
There  pinch  the  maids  as  blue  as  bilberry : 
Our  radiant  queen  hates  sluts  and  sluttery. 

Fal.  They  are  fairies  ;  he  that  speaks  to  them  shall  die :  50 
I  '11  wink  and  couch :   no  man  their  works  must  eye. 

[Lies  down  upon  his  face. 

Evans.  Where's  Bede?     Go  you,  and  where  you  find  a 
maid 
That,  ere  she  sleep,  has  thrice  her  prayers  said, 
Raise  up  the  organs  of  her  fantasy  ; 
Sleep  she  as  sound  as  careless  infancy : 
But  those  as  sleep  and  think  not  on  their  sins. 
Pinch  them,  arms,  legs,  backs,  shoulders,  sides,  and 
shins. 

Quick.  About,  about; 

Search  Windsor  Castle,  elves,  within  and  out : 

Strew  good  luck,  ouphes,  on  every  sacred  room ;    60 

That  it  may  stand  till  the  perpetual  doom, 

In  state  as  wholesome  as  in  state  'tis  fit. 

Worthy  the  owner,  and  the  owner  it. 

The  several  chairs  of  order  look  you  scour 

With  juice  of  balm  and  every  precious  flower: 

Each  fair  instalment,  coat,  and  several  crest, 

With  loyal  blazon,  evermore  be  blest ! 

And  nightly,  meadow-fairies,  look  you  sing. 

Like  to  the  Garter's  compass,  in  a  ring : 

Th'  expressure  that  it  bears,  green  let  it  be,  70 

More  fertile-fresh  than  all  the  field  to  see; 

117 


Act  V.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

And  Honi  soil  qui  mal  y  pense  write 
In  emerald  tufts,  flowers  purple,  blue,  and  white ; 
Like  sapphire,  pearl,  and  rich  embroidery. 
Buckled  below  fair  knighthood's  bending  knee: 
Fairies  use  flowers  for  their  charactery. 
Away ;   disperse :   but  till  'tis  one  o'clock, 
Our  dance  of  custom  round  about  the  oak 
Of  Heme  the  hunter,  let  us  not  forget. 

Evans.  Pray  you,  lock  hand  in  hand ;  yourselves  in  order 
set ;  80 

And  twenty  glow-worms  shall  our  lanterns  be. 
To  guide  our  measure  round  about  the  tree. 
But,  stay ;  I  smell  a  man  of  middle-earth. 

Fal.  Heavens  defend  me  from  that  Welsh  fairy,  lest 
he  transform  me  to  a  piece  of  cheese ! 

Pist.  Vile  worm,  thou  wast  o'erlook'd  even  in  thy  birth. 

Quick.  With  trial-fire  touch  me  his  finger-end : 
If  he  be  chaste,  the  flame  will  back  descend, 
And  turn  him  to  no  pain ;   but  if  he  start. 
It  is  the  flesh  of  a  corrupted  heart.  90 

Pist.  A  trial,  come. 

Evans.  Come,  will  this  wood  take  fire  ? 

[They  burn  him  with  their  tapers. 

Fal.  Oh,  Oh,  Oh! 

Quick.  Corrupt,  corrupt,  and  tainted  in  desire ! 
About  him,  fairies ;    sing  a  scornful  rhyme ; 
And,  as  you  trip,  still  pinch  him  to  your  time. 

Song. 

Fie  on  sinful  fantasy! 

Fie  on  lust  and  luxury ! 

Lust  is  but  a  bloody  fire, 

Kindled  with  unchaste  desire,  100 

118 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  v. 

Fed  in  heart,  whose  flames  aspire, 

As  thoughts  do  blow  them,  higher  and  higher. 

Pinch  him,  fairies,  mutually ; 

Pinch  him  for  his  villany  ; 
Pinch  him,  and  burn  him,  and  turn  him  about, 
Till  candles  and  starlight  and  moonshine  be  out. 

During  this  song  they  pinch  Falstaff.  Doctor  Cains  conies 
one  way,  and  steals  away  a  boy  in  green;  Slender 
another  way,  and  takes  off  a  boy  in  zvhite;  and  Fen- 
ton  comes,  and  steals  away  Anne  Page.  A  noise  of 
hunting  is  heard  zvithin.  All  the  Fairies  run  away. 
Falstaff  pulls  off  his  buck's  head,  and  rises. 

Enter  Page,  Ford,  Mistress  Page,  and  Mistress  Ford. 

Page.  Nay,  do  not  fly ;    I  think  we  have  watch'd  you  > 
now : 
Will  none  but  Heme  the  Hunter  serve  your  turn? 

Mrs  Page.  I  pray  you,  come,  hold  up  the  jest  no  higher. 
Now,  good  Sir  John,  how  like  you  Windsor  wives  ? 
See  you  these,  husband?  do  not  these  fair  yokes  iii 
Become  the  forest  better  than  the  town  ? 

Ford.  Now,  sir,  who's  a  cuckold  now?  Master 
Brook,  Falstaff  's  a  knave,  a  cuckoldly  knave ; 
here  are  his  horns,  ISIaster  Brook :  and,  Master 
Brook,  he  hath  enjoyed  nothing  of  Ford's  but 
his  buck-basket,  his  cudgel,  and  twenty  pounds 
of  money,  which  must  be  paid  to  Master  Brook ; 
his  horses  are  arrested  for  it,  Master  Brook. 

Mrs  Ford.  Sir  John,  we  have  had  ill  luck  ;   we  could  120 
never  meet.      I  will  never  take  you  for  my  love 
again ;  but  I  will  always  count  you  my  deer. 

Fal  I  do  begin  to  perceive  that  I  am  made  an  ass. 

119 


Act  V.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

Ford.    Ay,  and  an  ox  too :  both  the  proofs  are  extant. 

Fal.  And  these  are  not  fairies  ?  I  was  three  or  four 
times  in  the  thought  they  were  not  fairies :  and 
yet  the  guiltiness  of  my  mind,  the  sudden  sur- 
prise of  my  powers,  drove  the  grossness  of  the 
foppery  into  a  received  behef,  in  despite  of  the 
teeth  of  all  rhyme  and  reason,  that  they  were  130 
fairies.  See  now  how  wit  may  be  made  a  Jack- 
a-Lent,  when  'tis  upon  ill  employment! 

Evans.  Sir  John  Falstaff,  serve  Got,  and  leave  your 
desires,  and  fairies  will  not  pinse  you. 

Ford.  Well  said,  fairy  Hugh. 

Evans.  And  leave  you  your  jealousies  too,  I  pray 
you. 

Ford.  I  will  never  mistrust  my  wife  again,  till  thou 
art  able  to  woo  her  in  good  English. 

Fal.  Have  I  laid  my  brain  in  the  sun  and  dried  it, 

that  it  wants  matter  to  prevent  so  gross  o'er-  140 
reaching  as  this?     Am  I  ridden  with  a  Welsh 
goat  too  ?  shall  I  have  a  coxcomb  of  f rize  ?    'Tis 
time   I   were   choked   with   a   piece   of   toasted 
cheese. 

Evans.  Seese  is  not  good  to  give  putter ;  your  pelly 
is  all  putter. 

Fal.  '  Seese  '  and  '  putter  '  ?  Have  I  lived  to  stand 
at  the  taunt  of  one  that  makes  fritters  of  Eng- 
lish ?  This  is  enough  to  be  the  decay  of  lust  and 
late- walking  through  the  realm. 

Mrs  Page.  Why,  Sir  John,  do  you  think,  though  we  150 
would  have  thrust  virtue  out  of  our  hearts  by  the 
head  and  shoulders,  and  have  given  ourselves 
without  scruple  to  hell,  that  ever  the  devil  could 
have  made  you  our  delight? 

Ford.  What,  a  hodge-pudding  ?  a  bag  of  flax  ? 

120 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  v. 

Mrs  Page.  A  puffed  man  ? 

Page.  Old,  cold,  withered,  and  of  intolerable  en- 
trails ? 

Ford.  And  one  that  is  as  slanderous  as  Satan  ? 

Page.  And  as  poor  as  Job? 

Ford.  And  as  wicked  as  his  wife?  i6o 

Evans.  And  given  to  fornications,  and  to  taverns, 
and  sack,  and  wine,  and  metheglins,  and  to 
drinkings,  and  swearings,  and  starings,  pribbles 
and  prabbles ! 

Fal.  Well,  I  am  your  theme :  you  have  the  start  of 
me;  I  am  dejected;  I  am  not  able  to  answer 
the  Welsh  flannel :  ignorance  itself  is  a  plummet 
o'er  me :  use  me  as  you  will. 

Ford.  Marry,  sir,  we  '11  bring  you  to  Windsor,  to 

one  Master  Brook,  that  you  have  cozened  of  170 
money,  to  whom  you  should  have  been  a  pandar : 
over  and  above  that  you  have  suffered,  I  think 
to  repay  that  money  will  be  a  biting  affliction. 

Page.  Yet  be  cheerful,  knight :  thou  shalt  eat  a  posT 
set  to-night  at  my  house ;  where  I  will  desire 
thee  to  laugh  at  my  wife,  that  now  laughs  at 
thee :  tell  her  Master  Slender  hath  married  her 
daughter. 

Mrs  Page.  [Aside]   Doctors    doubt    that:     if    Anne 

Page  be  my  daughter,  she  is,  by  this.  Doctor  180 
Caius'  wife. 

Enter  Slender. 

Slen.  Whoa,  ho !  ho,  father  Page. 

Page.  Son,  how  now  !  how  now,  son  !  have  you  dis- 
patched ? 

Slen.  Dispatched !  I  '11  make  the  best  in  Gloucester- 
shire know  on  't ;  would  I  were  hanged,  la,  else ! 
121 


Act  V.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

Page.  Of  what,  son? 

Slen.  I  came  yonder  at  Eton  to  marry  Mistress  Anne 
Page,  and  she  's  a  great  lubberly  boy.  If  it  had 
not  been  i'  the  church,  I  would  have  swinged  190 
him,  or  he  should  have  swinged  me.  If  I  did 
not  think  it  had  been  Anne  Page,  would  I  might 
never  stir ! — and  'tis  a  postmaster's  boy. 

Page.  Upon  my  life,  then,  you  took  the  wrong. 

Slen.  What  need  you  tell  me  that  ?  I  think  so,  when 
I  took  a  boy  for  a  girl.  If  I  had  been  married 
to  him,  for  all  he  was  in  woman's  apparel,  I 
would  not  have  had  him. 

Page.  Why,  this  is  your  own  folly.     Did  not  I  tell 

you  how  you  should  know  my  daughter  by  her  200 
garments  ? 

Slen.  I  went  to  her  in  white,  and  cried  '  mum,'  and 
she  cried  '  budget,'  as  Anne  and  I  had  appointed ; 
and  yet  it  was  not  Anne,  but  a  postmaster's  boy. 

Mrs  Page.  Good  George,  be  not  angry :  I  knew  of 
your  purpose ;  turned  my  daughter  into  green ; 
and,  indeed,  she  is  now  with  the  doctor  at  the 
deanery,  and  there  married. 

Enter  Cains. 

Caius.  Vere  is  Mistress  Page?     By  gar,  I  am  coz- 
ened :   I  ha'  married  un  gar^on,  a  boy ;   un  pay-  210 
san,  by  gar,  a  boy ;  it  is  not  Anne  Page :  by  gar, 
I  am  cozened. 

Mrs  Page.  Why,  did  you  take  her  in  green  ? 

Caius.  Ay,  by  gar,  and  'tis  a  boy :  by  gar,  I  '11  raise 

all  Windsor.  [Exit. 

Ford.  This  is  strange.  Who  hath  got  the  right 
Anne? 

122 


OF  WINDSOR  Act  V.  Sc.  v. 

Page.  My  heart  misgives  me : — here  comes  Master 
Fenton. 

Enter  Fenton  and  Anne  Page, 

How  now,  Master  Fenton ! 
Anne.  Pardon,  good  father!    good  my  mother,  par- 
don !  220 
Page.  Now,  mistress,  how  chance  you  went  not  with 

Master  Slender? 
Mrs  Page.  Why  went  you  not  with  master  doctor, 

maid? 
Pent.  You  do  amaze  her :  hear  the  truth  of  it. 

You  would  have  married  her  most  shamefully, 

Where  there  was  no  proportion  held  in  love. 

The  truth  is,  she  and  I,  long  since  contracted. 

Are  now  so  sure  that  nothing  can  dissolve  us. 

The  offence  is  holy  that  she  hath  committed ; 

And  this  deceit  loses  the  name  of  craft,  230 

Of  disobedience,  or  unduteous  title ; 

Since  therein  she  doth  evitate  and  shun 

A  thousand  irreligious  cursed  hours. 

Which  forced  marriage  would  have  brought  upon 
her. 
Ford.  Stand  not  amazed ;  here  is  no  remedy : 

In  love  the  heavens  themselves  do  guide  the  state ; 

Money  buys  lands,  and  wives  are  sold  by  fate. 
Pal.  I  am  glad,  though  you  have  ta'en  a  special  stand 

to  strike  at  me,  that  your  arrow  hath  glanced.      240 
Page.  Well,  what  remedy?  Fenton,  heaven  give  thee  joy! 

What  cannot  be  eschew'd  must  be  embraced. 
Pal.  When  night-dogs  run,  all  sorts  of  deer  are  chased. 
Mrs  Page.  Well,  I  will  muse  no  further,     blaster  Fenton, 

Heaven  give  you  many,  many  merry  days ! 

Good  husban(J,  let  us  every  one  go  home. 


Act  V.  Sc.  V.  MERRY  WIVES 

And  laugh  this  sport  o'er  by  a  country  fire ; 
Sir  John  and  all. 
Ford.  Let  it  be  so.     Sir  John, 

To  Master  Brook  you  yet  shall  hold  your  word ;    250 
For  he  to-night  shall  lie  with  Mistress  Ford. 

[Exeunt. 


124 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary, 


A-birding,    bird-catching;    III. 

iii.  232. 
Abstract,  inventory;  IV.  ii.  60. 
Address,  make   ready;    III.   v. 

133. 
Admittance;  "  of  Venetian  ad. 
=  "  admitted  from  Venice  "  ; 
III.  iii.  58;  "of  great  a."  = 
admitted  into  the  best  com- 
pany; II.  ii.  230. 

Adversary,  used  jestingly  for 
"advocate"  by  the  host;  II. 
iii.  94- 

Affecting,  full  of  affectation; 
II.  i.  145- 

Aggravate  his  style,  i.e.  in- 
crease his  title;  II.  ii.  291. 

Aim,  "  to  cry  aim  "  ;  an  expres- 
sion borrowed  from  archery 
=  to  encourage  the  archers 
by  crying  out  "  aim,"  hence 
to  encourage,  applaud;  III. 
ii.  42. 

All-hallowmas,  November  i; 
i.e.  about  five  v^eeks  after 
Michaelmas ;  Simple  blun- 
ders in  putting  it  "a  fort- 
night afore  Michaelmas  " ; 
I.  i.  203. 

Allicholy,  Mistress  Quickley's 
corruption  of  melancholy;  I. 
iv.  158. 

Alligant,  Mistress  Quickly's 
error  for  "  elegant "  ;  II.  ii.  69. 

Allowed,  approved;  II.  ii.  232. 


Amaimon,  name  of  a  devil 
whose  dominion  is  on  the 
north  part  of  the  infernal 
gulph;  II.  ii.  305- 

Amaze,  confuse;  V.  v.  224. 

Angel,  a  gold  coin  valued  at 
ten  shillings  (used  quibbling- 
ly)  ;  I.  iii.   57,  61. 

Anthropophaginian,  cannibal ; 
IV.  V.  10. 

Armigero;  Slender' s  error  for 
"armiger";  his  knowledge 
of  Latin  is  derived  from  at- 
testations, e.g.  "Corani  me, 
Roberto  Shallow,  armigero, 
etc.";  I.  i.  9- 

Authentic,  of  acknowledged 
authority;  II.  ii.  231. 

Avised,  advised,  informed ; 
"  are  you  a.  of  that "  = 
"have  you  found  it  out?  "  I. 
iv.  103. 

Bailie,  deliver,  bring  (the  Fo- 
lios read  "ballow")  ;  I.  iv. 
90. 

Banbury  cheese,  in  allusion  to 
Slender's  thinness,  B.  cheese 
being  proverbially  thin ;  I.  i. 
127. 

Barbason,   name   of   a   demon; 

II.  ii.  305. 
Bede,  the  name  of  a  fairy;  V. 
V.  52. 


125 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


Bestow,  stow  away,  lodge;  IV. 

ii.  46. 
Bilbo,  V.  Latten  bilbo. 
Birding-piece,  a   gun   to   shoot 

birds  with;  IV.  ii.  56. 


Breed-bate,  one  who  stirs  up 
"  bate,"  or  contention ;  I.  iv. 
12. 

Brewage,  drink  brewed;  III.  v. 
32. 


Birding-piece . 
From  a  specimen  {temp.  James  I.)  preserved  at  Goodrich  Court. 


Bloody  Hre,  fire  in  the  blood ; 
V.  V.  99. 

Boitier,  "  a  surgeon's  case  of 
oyntment "  (the  Quarto 
reads  "my  oyntment");  I. 
iv.  47- 

Bold-beating,  apparently  = 
brow-beating;  II.  ii.  29. 

Bolt,  V.  Shaft. 

Book  of  Riddles,  a  popular 
book  of  the  day,  referred  to 
as  early  as  1575;  the  earliest 
extant  edition  bears  date 
1629 : — "  The  Booke  of 
Merry  Riddles,  together  with 
proper  Questions  and  Witty 
Proverbs  to  make  pleasant 
pastime;  no  less  useful  than 
behove  full  for  any  yong  man 
or  child  to  know  if  he  be 
quick-witted  or  no";  I.  i. 
201. 

Book  of  Songs  and  Sonnets; 
Slender  is  perhaps  alluding 
to  "Songs  and  Sonnets  writ- 
ten by  the  Right  Honourable 
Lord  Henry  Howard,  late 
Earle  of  Surrey  and  others" 

(pub.  1557) ;  I.  i.  197. 


Buck,  used  quibblingly  with 
reference  to  the  buck  and  its 
horns;  III.  iii.  160. 

Buck-basket,  a  basket  for 
clothes  which  were  to  be 
bucked  or  washed;  III.  iii.  2. 

Bucking,  washing;  III.  iii.  133. 

Bucklersbury,  Cheaps  id  e, 
where  the  druggists  and 
grocers  lived;  III.  iii.  74. 

Buck-washing,  laundry;  III. 
iii.  158. 

Bully-rook,  dashing  fellow;  I. 
iii.  2. 

Bully-stale ;  v.  Stale. 

Buttons;  "  'tis  in  his  buttons  " 
=  'tis  within  his  compass ; 
he  will  succeed;  perhaps  an 
allusion  to  the  flower  called 
"  bachelor's  buttons,"  by 
means  of  which  the  success 
of  love  was  divined;  III.  ii. 
68. 

Cain-coloured  beard;  Cain  was 
represented  in  old  tapestries 
with  a  yellowish  beard ;  I.  iv. 
23. 


126 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Canaries,  probably  Mistress 
Quickly's  version  of  "  quan- 
dary "  (pronounced  can- 
dary)  ;  II.  ii.  6i. 

Canary,  wine  from  the  Canary 
Islands,  sweet  sack;  III.  ii. 
86  [with  a  quibble  on  "ca- 
nary "  in  the  sense  of  a 
quick,  lively  dance ;  III.  ii. 
88], 

Careires,  the  curvetting  of  a 
horse ;  "  to  passe  a  careire  is 
but  to  runne  with  strength 
and  courage  such  a  conve- 
nient course  as  is  meete  for 
his  ability  "  ;  I.  i.  177. 

Carrion,  used  as  a  term  of 
contempt;  III.  iii.  195. 

Carves,  makes  a  sign  of  fa- 
vour; I.  iii.  46. 

Cashiered,  in  Bardolph's  slang 
it  seems  to  mean  "  eased  of 
his  cash  "  ;  I.  i.  176. 

Castalion,  King-Urinal;  a  non- 
sensical title  which  the  host 
gives  to  Caius ;  "  Castalion  " 
=:  Castilian,  with  perhaps  a 
quibbling  reference  to  the 
medical  practice  of  "  casting 
the  water "  of  the  patient ; 
II.  iii,  34  {v.  Notes). 

Cataian,  an  inhabitant  of  Ca- 
taia  or  "  Cathay  "  (China)  ; 
a  thief,  used  as  term  of  re- 
proach;  II.  i.  148. 

Cat-a-mountain,  wild-cat,  leop- 
ard (used  adjectivally)  ;  II. 
ii.  28. 

Charactery,  characters,  wri- 
ting; V.  v.  76. 

Charge,  to  put  to  expense;  II. 
ii.  168. 


Chariness,  scrupulousness;  II. 
i.  102. 

Charms,  love-charms,  enchant- 
ments; II.  ii.  106. 

Cheater,  escheater,  an  officer 
of  the  Exchequer,  employed 
to  exact  forfeitures  (used 
quibblingly)  ;  I.  iii.  74. 

Clapper-claw,  thrash;  II.  iii. 
66  {cp.  67,  69). 

Coat,  coat-of-arms ;  I.  i.  17. 

Cock  and  pie,  a  vulgar  corrup- 
tion of  "  God  "  and  "  Pie  " 
(the  service-book  of  the 
Romish  Church)  ;  I.  i.  304. 

Cog,  to  wheedle;  III.  iii.  47. 

Cogging,  deceiving;  III.  i.  119. 

Colours,  ensigns ;  III.  iv.  86. 

Come  off,  to  pay  handsomely; 
IV.  iii.  II. 

Companion,  fellow  (in  a  bad 
sense)  ;  III.  i.  119. 

Cony-catch,  to  poach,  pilfer;  I. 
iii.  34- 

Cony-catching,  poaching,  pil- 
fering; I.  i.  125. 

Coram;  probably  due  to  the 
formula  "jurat  coram  me," 
or  a  corruption  of  "quorum" 
("quorumesse  volumus  "  in 
a  Justice's  commission)  ;  both 
^forms  "■  corum  "  and  "  co- 
ram "  are  found  as  part  of 
the  title  of  "a  justice  of  the 
peace  "  ;  I.  i.  6. 

Cornuto,  cuckold;  III.  v.  68. 

Cotsall,  an  allusion  to  the  an- 
nual sports  on  the  Cotswold 
Hills,  Gloucestershire;  I.  i. 
91  (v.  Notes). 

Couch,  crouch;  V.  ii.  i. 


127 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


Counter-gate,  the  entrance  to 
one  of  the  Counter  Prisons 
in  London;  III.  iii.  80. 

Country,  district;  I.  i.  219. 

Cowl-staff,  a  pole  on  which  a 
tub  or  basket  is  borne  be- 
tween two  persons;   III.   iii. 

149- 

Cozeners,  sharpers  ( ?  play  on 
"  Cozen-Germans,"  cp.  IV.  v. 
78)  ;  IV.  V.  66. 

Cuckoo-birds,  with  allusion  to 
cuckolds;  II.  i.  128. 

Curtal,  having  a  docked  tail ; 
"  a  curtal  dog  "  ^  a  dog  unfit 
for  the  chase,  or  one  that  has 
missed  the  game;  II.  i.  114. 

Custalorum;  Shallow's  corrup- 
tion of  "  Gustos  Rotulo- 
rum  " ;  I.  i.  7. 

Cut  and  long  tail,  any  kind  of 
dogs,  curtal  dogs  or  long- 
tailed  (hence,  come  who  will 
to  contend  with  me)  ;  III.  iv. 
49. 

Dagger;  "  playing  at  sword  and 
d." ;  a  blunt  blade  used  in 
place  of  the  buckler ;  I.  i.  284. 


From  a  black-letter  ballad  ("A  Look- 
ing-Glasse  for  Maids,  or  the  Downfall 
of  two  desperate  Lovers  .  .  .")• 


Datchet-mead,  in  Windsor; 
III.  iii.  14,  etc. 

Daubery,  imposture;  IV.  ii.  177. 

Defy,  reject;  II.  ii.  74. 

Detest;  Mistress  Quickly's  er- 
ror for  "  protest  "  ;  I.  iv.  154. 

Dickens  (exclamatory),  the 
devil ;  probably  =  devilkins  ; 
III.  ii.  16. 

Diffused,  discordant ;  IV.  iv.  55. 

Dissolved,  and  dissolutely; 
Slender's  error  for  "  re- 
solved, and  resolutely";  I.  i. 
251. 

Dole,  portion  ;  "  happy  man  be 
his  d."  =  "  happiness  be  his 
portion  "  ;  III.  iv.  68. 

Drumble,  dawdle;  III.  iii.   149. 

Eld,  old  age,  used  in  the  sense 
of  "  old  persons  " ;  IV.  iv.  27- 

Elder;  "  heart  of  elder "  r= 
weak,  faint-hearted ;  the  elder 
has  no  heart ;  used  in  con- 
trast to  "  heart  of  oak  "  ;  II. 
iii.  30. 

Ensconce,  to  shelter  under  pro- 
tection of  a  sconce  or  fort ; 
II.  ii.  28. 

Ephesian,  boon-companion  (an 
allusion  perhaps  to  St.  Paul's 
Epistle  to  the  Ephesians, 
chap.  ii.  10)  ;  IV.  v.  18. 

Erin  goes,  sea-holly  (supposed 
to  possess  aphrodisiac  qual- 
ities) ;  V.  V.  22. 

Esquire,  a  gentleman  next  in 
digree  below  a  knight ;  I.  i.  4. 

Eyas-musket,  young  male 
sparrow-hawk;  III.  iii.  21. 


128 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Fap,  evidently  a  cant  term  for 
"  fuddled  "  ;  I.  i.  176. 

Fartuous;  Mistress  Quickly's 
pronunciation  of  "  virtu- 
ous " ;  II.  ii.  99. 

Fault,  misfortune;  I.  i.  04;  III. 
iii.  220. 

Faustuses;  "  three  Doctor  F." 
(cp.  "  Mephostophilus"); 
IV.  V.  70. 

Fights  (a  sea-term),  the  can- 
vas that  hangs  round  the  ship 
in  a  fight,  to  screen  the  com- 
batants;  II.  ii.  140. 

Fine  and  recovery,  a.  term  of 
law  denoting  absolute  owner- 
ship ;  IV.  ii.  212. 

Flannel,  originally  manufac- 
tured in  Wales,  hence  ludi- 
crously used  for  a  Welsh- 
man; V.  V.  167. 

Flemish,  given  to  drink  like  a 
Fleming ;  the  Dutch  were  no- 
torious drunkards ;  II.  i.  2^. 

Foin,  to  thrust  in  fencing;  II. 
iii.  24. 

Fortune  thy  foe,  an  allusion  to 
the  old  ballad  "  Fortune  my 
foe  ";  III.  iii.  65. 

Frampold,  quarrelsome;  II.  ii. 
92. 

French  thrift;  Falstaff  alludes 
to  the  practice  of  making  a 
richly-dressed  page  take  the 
place  of  a  band  of  retainers ; 
I.  iii.  90. 

Frise,  a.  kind  of  coarse  woollen 
stuff  manufactured  by  Flem- 
ings in  Wales ;  V.  v.  142. 

Froth,  to  make  a  tankard  foam; 
I.  iii.  14. 


Fullam,  a  loaded  die  (so  called 
from  Fulham,  where  false 
dice  were  apparently  manu- 
factured) ;  I.  iii.  91. 

Gallimaufry,  "  hotch-potch," 
used  by  Pistol  for  "the  whole 
sex  "  ;  II.  i.  119. 

Gar,  Dr.  Caius'  pronunciation 
of  "  God  "  ;  I.  iv.  1 1 1,  etc. 

Geminy,  a  pair ;  II.  ii.  8. 

Ging,  gang;  IV.  ii.  118. 

Good-jer,  supposed  to  be  a  cor- 
ruption of  the  French  word 
goujere,  the  name  of  a 
disease ;  used  as  a  slight 
curse ;  I.  iv.  126. 

Good  life,  good  name ;  III.  iii. 
121. 

Gourd,  some  instrument  of 
false  gaming;  I.  iii.  91. 

Grated  upon,  irritated,  vexed; 
II.  ii.  6. 

Groat,  piece  of  money  valued 
at  fourpence;  I.  i.  151. 

Green  Sleeves,  an  old  popular 
ballad  tune,  prob.  of  Henry 
Vlllth's  time,  still  extant 
(see  next  page)  ;  II.  i.  64. 

Hack,  (?)  "to  become  cheap 
and  common,"  perhaps  with 
a  play  on  "hack,"  to  kick; 
II.  i.  52;  IV.  i.  65. 

Hair;  "  against  the  hair,"  i.e. 
"  against  the  grain,"  refers  to 
the  stroking  of  an  animal's 
hair  the  wrong  way;  II.  iii. 
41. 

Hang  together,  to  hold  to- 
gether (without  altogether 
collapsing)  ;  III.  ii.  11. 


129 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


The  Ballad  of  Green  Sleeves. 


A>Ias,  my  love  you  do  me  wrong  to  cast  me  off  dis-courteously,  And 


I  have  lov-ed    you  so  long,  de -lighting  in    your  company, 


Greensleeves  was  all  my    joy, 


Greensleeves  was  my  delight. 


:Si»E 


s=. 


=i^ 


Greensleeves  was  my  heart  of  gold,  and'who  hut  my  Lady  Greensleeves, 

From  Naylor's  Shakespeare  and  Music. 


Hawthorn-buds,  dandies ;  III. 
iii.  72. 

Hector,  cant  term  for  a  sharp- 
er; I.  iii.  II. 

Herod,  represented  as  a  swag- 
gering tyrant  in  the  old  mira- 
cle plays ;  II.  i.  20. 

Hick,  (?)  to  fight;  Mistress 
Quickly's  interpretation  of 
"hie";  probably  something 
coarse  is  intended;  IV.  i.  65. 

High  and  low,  i.e.  high  and  low 
throws  (the  former  were  the 
numbers  4,  5,  6,  the  latter  i, 
2,  3)  ;  I.  iii.  93- 

Hinds,  servants ;  III.  v.  96. 

Hodge-pudding, probably  some- 
thing similar  to  a  hodge- 
podge ;  V.  V.  155. 

Horn-mad,  mad  as  a  wicked 
bull;  I.  iv.  51.        * 

Humour  (ridiculed  as  a  much 
misused    word    of    fashion; 


particularly  used  by  Nym)  ; 
I.  i.  132,  163,  165,  etc. 
Hungarian;  (used  quibblingly) 
the  Hungarian  wars  attracted 
many  English  volunteers, 
who  subsequently  returned 
to  England  impoverished;  I. 
iii.  21.  (The  first  and  sec- 
ond Quartos  read  "  Gon- 
garian.") 

Image,    idea,    conception;    IV. 

vi.  17. 
Infection,     Mistress     Quickly's 

error  for  "  affection  "  ;  II.  ii. 

118. 
Intention,  intentness ;  I.  iii.  70. 

lack-a-Lent,  a  small  stuffed 
puppet  thrown  at  during 
Lent;  III.  iii.  25;  V.  v.  131. 

lay,  used  metaphorically  for  a 
loose  woman ;  III.  iii.  4i- 


130 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Kibe,  chilblain ;  I.  iii.  33. 
Kissing-comiits,     sugar-plums ; 
V.  V.  22. 

Labras,  lips;  I.  i.  160. 

Larded,  garnished;  IV.  vi.  14. 

Latten  bilbo,  a  sword  made  of 
latten,  a  mixed  soft  metal  re- 
sembling brass ;  swords  were 
called  "  bilbos "  from  the 
great  reputation  of  those 
made  at  Bilboa  in  Spain;  I. 
i.  159. 

Laundry,  Sir  Hugh  Evans'  er- 
ror for  "launder";  I.  ii.  4. 

Leman,  lover;  IV.  ii.  164. 

Lewdsters,  libertines ;  V.  iii.  22. 

Lime,  to  put  lime  in  sack  to 
make  it  sparkle ;  I.  iii.  14. 

Lingered,  waited  in  expecta- 
tion; III.  ii.  55. 

Long- tail,  v.  "  Cut,"  etc. 

Louses,  Sir  Hugh  Evans'  cor- 
ruption of  "luces";  the  joke 
was  perhaps  derived  by- 
Shakespeare  from  a  story- 
told  of  Sir  William  Wise  and 
Henry  VIII.  in  Holinshed's 
continuation  of  the  Chron- 
icles of  Ireland,  where  the 
play  is  on  "  fleur  de  lice  "  ;  I. 
i.  19.     (See  Note.) 

Loves;  "  of  all  loves  "  =  by  all 
means,  for  love's  sake;  II.  ii. 
117. 

Luces,  pikes  ;  "  the  dozen  white 
luces,"  probably  an  allusion 
to  the  armorial  bearings  of 
Shakespeare's  old  enemy.  Sir 
Thomas  Lucy;  a  quartering 
of  the  Lucy  arms,  exhibiting 


the  dozen  white  luces,  is  to 
be  found  in  Dugdale's  War- 
zvickshire ;  I.  i.  16.  The  ac- 
companying drawing  from 
Lucy's  seal  gives  'three 
luces.' 

Lunes,  fits  of  lunacy ;  IV.  ii.  20. 

Luxury,  wantonness ;  V.  v.  98. 

Machiavcl,  used  proverbially 
for  a  crafty  schemer;  III.  i. 
99. 

Make,  to  make  mischief;  I.  iv. 
113- 

Marry  trap,  a  phrase  of  doubt- 
ful meaning ;  "  exclamation 
of  insult  when  a  man  was 
caught  in  his  own  strata- 
gem " ;  in  all  probability  its 
real  force  was  "  catch  me  if 
you  can  "  ;  I.  i.  164. 

Master  of  fence,  one  who  had 
taken  a  master's  degree  in 
the  art  of  fencing;  I.  i.  285. 

Mechanical,  vulgar,  vile;  II.  ii. 
285. 


131 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


Mill-sixpences;  "  these  six- 
pences, coined  in  1561  and 
1562,  were  the  first  milled 
money  in  England,  used  as 
counters  to  cast  up  money  "  ; 
I.  i.  151. 

Mephostophilus,  used  by  Pis- 
tol; the  name  had  been  made 
popular  in  England  by  Mar- 
lowe's Faustus;  I.  i.  129. 

Mefheglins,  mead,  a  fermented 
dish  of  honey  and  water;  V. 
V.  162. 

Mistress,  the  ordinary  title  of 
an   unmarried  gentlewoman; 

I.  i.  48. 

Mince,   to   walk   with   affected 

grace ;  V.  i.  9. 
Montant,    a    upright    blow    or 

thrust  in  fencing;  II.  iii.  27. 
Motions,  proposals ;  I.  i.  214. 
Mountain-foreigner,     used     by 

Pistol  of  Sir  Hugh  Evans,  in 

the  sense  of  "  ultramontane," 

barbarous ;  I.  i.  157. 
Muscle-shell,    applied   by    Fal- 

staff    to    Simple    because    he 

stands  with  his  mouth  open; 

IV.  V.  28. 

Nay-word,  a  watch- word,  or 
rather  a  twin-word  agreed 
upon    by    two    confederates ; 

II.  ii.  129. 

Nuthook,  contemptuous  term 
for  a  catchpole;  I.  i.  165. 

'Od's  heartlings,  an  oath;  God's 
heartling  (a  diminutive  of 
"heart")  ;  III.  iv.  59. 

'Od's  nouns.  Mistress  Quickly's 
corruption  of  "  God's 
wounds  " ;  IV.  i.  24. 


(Eillades,  amorous  glances;  I. 
iii.  65. 

O'erlooked,  bewitched  ;  V.  v.  86. 

'Ork,  Sir  Hugh's  pronunciation 
of  "work";  III.  i.  15. 

Ouphes,  elves ;  IV.  iv.  50. 

Oyes,  hear  ye !  the  usual  intro- 
duction to  a  proclamation; 
V.  V.  44. 

Paid,  used  quibblingly  in  sense 
of  "  paid  out  "  ;  IV.  v.  62. 

Parcel,  a  constituent  part ;  I.  i. 
230. 

Paring  knife;  "glover's  p.  k."; 
I.  iv.  21. 

From  a  tradesman's  token  (XVII.Cent.). 

Passant;  as  a  term  of  heraldry 

=  walking,  used  by  Sir  Hugh 

Evans ;  I.  i.  20. 
Passed,   surpassed   expression; 

I.  i.  299. 
Passes,    goes    beyond    bounds; 

IV.  ii.  122. 
Pauca,  few   {i.e.  words)  ;  I.  i. 

131 ;  "pauca  verba"  ;  I.  i.  121. 
Peaking,  sneaking;  III.  v.  68. 
Peer  out,  probably  an  allusion 

to  the  children's  old  rhyme 

calling   on    a    snail    to    push 

forth  its  horns ;  IV.  ii.  24. 
Peevish,  foolish;  I.  iv.  14. 
Penny,  money  in  general ;  I.  i. 

62;    (in  ordinary  sense)    II. 

ii.  I. 


132 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Elizabethan  Silver  Penny. 

Pensioners,  the  bodyguard  of 
Henry  VIII.  and  Queen 
Elizabeth  were  so  called;  II. 
ii.  79. 

Period,  conclusion;  IV.  ii.  222. 

Pheczar;  evidently  formed 
from  the  verb  "to  pheeze," 
i.e.  "  to  hurry  on,  to  worry  " ; 
I.  iii.  10. 

Phlegmatic,  misapplied  by  Mis- 
tress Quickly ;  I.  iv.  78. 

Phrygian,  possibly  in  the  sense 
of  "Trojan,"  used  as  a  cant 
term  for  a  person  of  doubt- 
ful character;  I.  iii.  95. 

Pickt-hatch,  a  quarter  of  Lon- 
don notorious  as  the  resort 
of  bad  characters ;  XL  ii.  20. 

Pinnace,  used  metaphorically 
for  a  go-between ;  I.  iii.  86. 

Pipe-wine,  wine  not  from  the 
bottle  but  from  the  pipe  or 
cask,  with  a  play  on  "  pipe  " 
in  the  sense  of  instrument  to 
which  people  danced;  III.  ii. 

87. 

Pittie-ward,  (?)  "towards  the 
Petty,  or  little  Park";  III. 
i.  5- 

Plummet;  "  ignorance  is  a  p. 
o'er  me  " ;  Falstaff  evident- 
ly represents  himself  as  the 
carpenter's  work,  and  Evans 
as  the  lead  of  the  plummet 
held  over  him ;  V.  v.  167. 


Polecat,  used  as  a  term  of  re- 
proach, (the  polecat  emits  a 
disgusting  smell)  ;  IV.  ii.  185. 

Possibilities,  prospects  of  in- 
heritance; used  also  in  the 
sense  of  "  possession,"  which 
may  be  the  meaning  here ;  I. 
i.65. 

Pottle,  a  large  tankard,  origin- 
ally a  measure  of  two  quarts ; 
III.  V.  28. 

Prat,  a  verb  formed  evidently 
by  Ford  from  Mother  Prat's 
name;  IV.  ii.  184. 

Preeches,  breached  for  flog- 
ging; IV.  i.  78. 

Presently,  immediately ;  III.  iii. 
90. 

Pribbles  and  Prabbles,  petty 
wrangling  s,  tittle-tattles 
(used  by  Sir  Hugh  Evans)  ; 
I.  i.  56. 

Primero,  a  game  of  cards :  IV* 
V.  104. 

Properties,  used  technically  foi 
the  necessaries  of  the  stage, 
exclusive  of  the  scenery  and 
dresses ;  IV.  iv.  79. 

.Property,  a  thing  wanted  for 
a  particular  purpose,  a  tool 
(to  get  out  of  debt)  ;  III.  iv. 
II. 

Puddings,  the  intestines  of  ani- 
mals were  so  called  {cp. 
"Pudding  Lane")  ;  II.  i.  32. 

Pumpion,  a  kind  of  pumpkin; 
III.  iii.  40. 

Punk,  strumpet;  II.  ii.  I39- 

Punto,  a  thrust  or  stroke  in 
fencing;  II.  iii.  26. 


133 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


Quarter  (used  quibbllngly)  ;  I, 

i.  24,  26,  28. 
Quean,  a  slut;  IV.  ii.  171. 

Rank,  mature;  IV.  vi.  22. 

Rato-lorum;  Slender's  corrup- 
tion of  (Gustos)  "  Rotulo- 
rum  " ;  1.  i.  8. 

Red-lattice  phrases  =  ale-house 
language;  a  lattice  window 
often  painted  red  was  the 
customary  distinction  of  an 
ale-house ;  II.  ii.  29. 


From  a  token  ( Green  Lattice  in  Cock 
Lane)  of  the  XVII.  Cent. 

Relent,  repent;  II.  ii.  2,^. 
Ring-wood,  a  common  name  for 

a  dog;  II.  i.  122. 
Ronyon,  a  mangy  creature ;  IV. 

ii.  186. 

Sackerson,     a     famous     bear, 
which     was     baited    at     the 
Paris  Garden,  in  Southwark 
said    to     have    belonged    to 
Henslow  &  Alleyn ;  I.  i.  296 
Sadness,  seriousness ;  IV.  ii.  90 
Sauce,  "to  pepper";  IV.  iii.  11, 
Scall,  scurvy;  III.  i.  119. 
Scut,  tail  of  a  hare  or  rabbit 

V.  V.  20. 
Sea-coal   fire,    a    fire    made    of 
coals  brought  by  sea,  a  nov- 
elty at  a  time  when  wood  was 
generally  burnt ;  I.  iv.  9. 


Season,  fit  time  (used  probably 
technically  for  the  time  when 
the  stags  were  at  their  best)  ; 
III.  iii.  162. 

Secure,  careless ;  II.  i.  237. 

Seeming,  specious;  III.  ii.  39. 

Semi-circled  farthingale,  a  pet- 
ticoat, the  hoop  of  which  did 
not  come  round  in  front ; 
III.  iii.  64. 

Shaft;  "to  make  a  shaft  or 
bolt  on  't  "  =  to  do  a  thing 
either  one  way  or  another ; 
a  shaft  =  a  sharp  arrow  ;  a 
bolt,  a  thick,  short  one  with 
a  knob  at  the  end;  III.  iv. 
26. 


c== 


Shent,  reviled,  punished;  I.  iv. 

38. 
Ship-tire,  a  peculiar  head-dress, 

resembling    a    ship's    tackle; 

III.  iii.  57. 


From  Fabri's  "  Habite  Varie  "  (1593). 


134 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Shovel-hoards,  broad  shillings 
of  Edward  VI.  used  for  the 
game  of  shove  or  shovel- 
board;  I.  i.  152. 


Shovel-board,  long  preserved  at  the 
Falcon  Inn. 


Sprag  =  sprack,  i.e.  quick ;  IV. 
i.  82. 

Speciously,  a  Quicklyism  for 
specially  (?);  III.  iv.  116; 
IV.  V.  114. 

Staggering,  wavering;  III.  iii. 
II. 

Stale,  the  urine  of  horses,  ap- 
plied by  the  host  to  Dr. 
Caius;  II.  iii.  31. 


Edward  Shovel-boards. 


Simple,  medicinal  herb;  III.  iii. 

74. 

Sir;  the  inferior  clergy,  as  well 
as  knights  or  baronets,  for- 
merly received  this  title,  be- 
ing the  old  equivalent  of  the 
academic  Do  minus  (when 
applied  to  Bachelors  of  Arts 
at  the  Universities  it  was 
usually  attached  to  the  sur- 
name and  not  to  the  Chris- 
tian name)  ;  hence  "  Sir  " 
Hugh  Evans  ;  I.  i.  i. 

Slack,  neglect;  III.  iv.  118. 

Slice,  applied  by  Nym  to  Slen- 
der; I.  i.  131. 

Slighted,  tossed ;  III.  v.  9. 

Something,  somewhat :  IV.  vi. 
22. 


Stamps,  impressed  coins ;  III. 
iv.  17. 

Star-chamber;  this  Court 
among  its  other  functions 
took  cognisance  of  "  routs 
and  riots  "  ;  I.  i.  i. 

Stoccadoes,  thrusts  in  fencing; 
II.  i.  230. 

Stock,  thrust  in  fencing;  II.  iii. 
26. 

Strain,  disposition;  II.  1.  91. 

Sufferance,  sufferings;  IV.  ii.  2. 

Swinged,  belaboured ;  V.  v.  190. 

SzK:ord  and  dagger  (see  Dag- 
ger). 

Takes,    strikes    with     disease; 

IV.  iv.  2>2>. 
Taking,  fright;  III.  iii.  182, 


135 


Glossary 


MERRY  WIVES 


Tall,  sturdy,  powerful ;  "  tall  of 

his  hands  "  ;  I.  iv.  26. 
Tester,  sixpence ;  I.  iii.  94. 
Thrummed,    made    of    coarse, 

woollen     yarn ;     thrum,     the 

loose  end  of  a  weaver's  warp  ; 

IV.  ii.  77- 


T/irummed  hat  and  77zt{ffler. 
From  Speed's  Map  of  Engiand. 

Tightly,  promptly;  I.  iii.  85. 
Tire,  head-dress ;  III.  iii.  58. 
Tire-valiant,    a    fanciful    head- 
dress; III.  iii.  57. 


From  an  engraving  of  a  noble 
Venetian  lady  (1605). 

Tricking,  costumes ;  IV.  iv.  80. 

Trot,  Caius'  pronunciation  of 
"  troth  "  ;  IV.  v.  89. 

Trow,  used  by  Mistress  Quick- 
ly in  the  sense  of  "  I  won- 
der ";  I.  iv.  136. 


Truckle-hed,  a  small  bed,  run- 
ning on  castors,  which  was 
thrust  under  the  standing- 
bed  during  the  daytime ;  IV. 
V.  7. 


Standing  and  truckle-bed. 

From  an  illuminated  MS.  of  XV.  Cent. 

(The  figures  represent  a  nobleman 

and  his  valet.) 

Uncape,  to  unearth  a  fox;  III. 
iii.  169. 

Unraked;  "  fires  unr."  =:  fires 
not  raked  together,  not  cov- 
ered with  fuel  so  that  they 
might  be  found  alight  in  the 
morning ;  V.  v.  47 

Unweighcd,    inconsiderate;    II. 

i-  ^^-      ^ 

Urchins,  imps,  goblins ;  IV.  iv. 
50. 

Venev,  a  bout  at  fencing;  1.  i. 
285'. 

Visements  =  advisements  or 
considerations ;  I.  i.  39. 

Vlonting-stog,  i.e.  laughing- 
stock; III.  i.  116. 

Wag,  pack  off;  II.  i.  234. 
Ward,  posture  of  defence;  II, 
ii-  253- 


136 


OF  WINDSOR 


Glossary 


Watched,  tamed  as  a  hawk  is 
broken  in  by  being  kept 
awake;  V.  v.  107. 

Whiting-time,  bleaching  time; 
III.  iii.  133- 

Whitsters,  bleachers  of  linen; 
III.  iii.  13. 

Wide  of,  far  from,  indifferent 
to ;  III.  i.  57. 

With,  by;  III.  v.  108. 

Wittolly,  cuckoldly;  II.  ii.  278. 

Woodman,  a  hunter  of  forbid- 
den game,  and  also  a  pursuer 
of  women;  V.  v.  29. 


Worts,  roots  (used  quibblingly 
with  reference  to  Sir  Hugh's 
pronunciation  of  "words"); 
I.  i.  121. 

Wrong;  "you  do  yourself 
mighty  wrong  "  =  you  are 
much  mistaken ;  III.  iii.  209. 

Wrongs;  "  this  wrongs  you," 
this  is  unworthy  of  you;  IV. 
ii.  154- 

Yead,   an    old   abbreviation    of 

"  Edward  ";  I.  i.  153. 
Yellowness,      the      colour      of 

jealousy;  I.  ii.  109. 


137 


MERRY  WIVES 


Critical  Notes, 


BY  ISRAEL  GOLLANCZ. 


I.  i.  22.  '  The  luce  is  the  fresh  fish;  the  salt  fish  is  an  old  coat.' 
No  satisfactory  explanation  of  this  passage  has  as  yet  been 
offered ;  various  suggestions  have  been  made,  e.g.  '  salt-fish  '  = 
the    hake    borne    by    the    stockfishmongers ;   *  same  '    for    '  salt ' ; 

*  'tis  ott  fish  in  '  (as- 
signed to  Evans), 
etc.  May  not,  how- 
ever, the  whole  point 
of  the  matter  lie  in 
Shallow's      use      of 

*  salt '  in  the  sense 
of  '  saltant,'  the  her- 
aldic term,  used 
especially  for  ver- 
min? If  so  'salt- 
fish  '  =  '  the  leaping- 
louse,'  with  a  quib- 
ble on  '  salt '  as  op- 
posed to  '  fresh  fish.' 
There  is  further  al- 
lusion to  the  prover- 
bial predilection  of 
vermin  for  '  old 
coats,'  used  quib- 
blingly  in  the  sense 
of  '  coat-of-arms.' 
The  following  pas- 
sage from  Holins- 
hed's  continuation 
of  the  chronicles  of 
Ireland  (quoted  by 
Rushton),  seems  to 


From  the  Annalia  Dubrensia  (16^6),  a  collection  of 
poems  laudatory  of  the  Cotswold  Games  and  their 
patron,  Robert  Dover. 


bear  out  this  explanation 


Having  lent  the  king  his  signet  to 
138 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

seal  a  letter,  who  having  powdered  eriniits  ingrailed  in  the  seal; 
why  how  now  Wise  (quoth  the  King),  what  hast  thou  lice  here? 
And  if  it  like  your  Majesty,  quoth  Sir  William,  a  louse  is  a  rich 
coat,  for  by  giving  the  louse  I  part  arms  with  the  French  King  in 
that  he  giveth  the  flower  de  lice,  whereat  the  king  heartily 
laughed,"  etc. 

I.  i.  46.  'George  Page.'  Ff.  Q.,.  'Thomas  Page,'  retained  by 
Camb.  Ed.  though  Master  Page  is  elsewhere  called  '  George ' ; 
"  the  mistake  may  have  been  Shakespeare's  own,"  or  '  Geo.'  may 
have  been  misread  as  '  Tho.' 

1.  i.  91.  'outrun  on  Cotsall'  i.e.  on  the  Cotswold  hills  (in 
Gloucestershire)  ;  probably  an  allusion  to  the  famous  Cotswold 
Games,  which  were  revived  by  Captain  Robert  Dover  at  the  be- 
ginning of  the  seventeenth  century,  though  evidently  instituted 
earlier;  the  allusion  does  not  occur  in  the  first  and  second 
Quartos. 

I.  i.  171.  'Scarlet  and  John';  Robin  Hood's  boon-companions;' 
an  allusion  to  Bardolph's  r^d  face. 

I.  iii.  28.  'a  minute's  rest';  a  minim's  rest"  is  the  ingenious 
suggestion  of  Bennet  Langton ;  cp.  Romeo  and  Juliet,  II.  iv.  22, 
"  rests  me  his  minim  rest." 

I.  iii.  46.  '  carves ' ;  probably  used  here  in  the  sense  of  '  to  show 
favour  by  expressive  gestures  ' ;  cp.  "  A  carver  :  chironomus  .  .  , 
one  that  useth  apish  motions  with  his  hands." — Littleton's  Latin- 
English  Dictionary  (1675). 

I.  iii.  51.  'Studied  her  will';  so  Qq  1-2:  Ff,  'will'  retained  by 
Camb.  Ed. 

I.  iii.  y2)'  '  region  of  Guiana.'  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  returned 
from  his  expedition  to  So.  America  in  1596,  and  published  his 
book  *  The  Discovery  of  the  large,  rich,  and  beautiful  Empire  of 
Guiana '  in  the  same  year. 

I.  iii.  99.  'By  welkin  and  her  star.'  This  is  no  doubt  the  cor- 
rect reading  of  the  line,  and  there  is  no  need  to  read  stars,  as  has 
been  suggested ;  '  star '  is  obviously  used  here  for  '  the  sun  ' ;  the 
Quartos  read  '  fairies.' 

I.  ii.  109.  '  the  revolt  of  mine'  i.e.  my  revolt :  Camb.  Ed.  sug- 
gest in  Note  '  mine  anger,'  but  no  change  seems  necessary. 

II.  i.  5.  '  though  Love  use  Reason  for  Jiis  physician.'  The  Fo- 
lios read  '  precisian  ' ;  the  emendation  adopted  in  the  text  was  first 
suggested  by  Theobald,  and  has  been  generally  accepted;  cp. 
Sonnet  cxlvii  :  "  My  reason  the  physician  to  my  love." 

II.  i.  220,  223.  In  the  folios  the  name  '  Broome '  is  given  instead 

139 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

of  '  Brooke  ' ;  but  Falstaff's  pun,  "  Such  Brooks  are  welcome  to 
me,  that  overflow  with  liquor,"  removes  all  doubt  as  to  the  correct 
reading,  which  is  actually  found  in  the  Quartos. 

11.  i.  224.  '  IVill  you  go,  min-heers?'  The  Folios  and  Quartos, 
^ An-hcires'  retained  by  Camb.  Ed.;  Theobald,  'mynheers.'  Other 
suggestions  are  "  on,  here  "  ;  "  on,  hearts  "  ;  "  on,  heroes  "  ;  "  cava- 
leires,"  etc.  In  support  of  change,  cp.  '  mine  host '  in  reply. 
II.  ii.  155.  '  O'erhows,'  so  F1F2;  Camb.  Ed.,  *  o'erflow.' 
II.  iii.  34.  '  Castalion,  King-Urinal':  Ff.  *  castalion-king- 
Vrinall,'  retained  by  Camb.  Ed.  but  the  first  hyphen  is  prob.  an 
error  for  comma — a  fairly  common  mistake  in  this  particular 
play,  cp.  nightly-meadow-fairies,  V.  v.  68,  etc. 

II.  iii.  88.  '  Cried  I  aimf  The  Folios  and  Quartos  read  "  cried 
game  ";  the  ingenious  emendation,  due  to  Douce,  was  first  adopted 
by  Dyce. 

III.  i.  17,  etc.  Sir  Hugh  oddly  confuses  Marlowe's  famous 
ditty,  '  Come  live  with  me  and  be  my  love,'  and  the  old  version  of 
the  137th  Psalm,  '  When  we  did  sit  in  Babylon.' 

III.  i.  95.  '  Gallia  and  Gaul' ;  so  the  Folios;  the  first  and  second 
Quartos  read  "  Gawle  and  Gawlia;"  Farmer's  conjecture  "  Gual- 
lia  and  Gaul  "  was  adopted  by  Malone  and  other  editors.  Gallia 
=  Wales. 

III.  ii.  y:^.  'he  shall  not  knit  a  knot  in  his  fortunes'  (which  are 
now  as  it  were  unravelled). 

III.  iii.  42.  'Have  I  caught  thee';  probably  the  reading  of  the 
Quarto  which  omits  *  thee '  is  the  more  correct ;  Falstaff  quotes 
from  the  second  song  in  Sydney's  Astrophel  and  Stella : — 

"Have  I  caught  my  heav'nly  jewell, 
Teaching  sleep  most  faire  to  be? 
Now  will  I  teach  her  that  she 
When  she  wakes  is  too-too  cruell." 

III.  iii.  65,  66.  'Fortune  thy  foe  were  not,  Nature  thy  friend,'  so 
F2  Fa  F4 ;  "  foe,  were  not  Nature,"  Fi  Qs :  perhaps  better,  '  foe 
were  not.    Nature  is  thy  friend ' ;  so  Capell. 

III.  v.  4.  The  reading  of  the  Quartos  is  seemingly  preferable : — 
"Have  I  lived  to  be  carried  in  a  basket,  and  thrown  into  the 
Thames  like  a  barrow  of  butcher's  offal." 

III.  V.  9.  'The  rogues  slighted  me  into  the  river'  i.e.  "Threw 
me  in  contemptuously  " ;  the  Quartos  read  "  slided  me  in." 

IV.  i.  49.  'Hang-hog  is  Latin  for  bacon';  probably  suggested 
by  the  famous  story  told  of  Sir  Nicholas  Bacon.     A  prisoner 

140 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

named  Hog,  who  had  been  condemned  to  death,  prayed  for  mercy 
on  the  score  of  kindred.  "Ay  but,"  replied  the  judge,  "you  and 
I  cannot  be  of  kindred  unless  you  are  hanged;  for  Hog  is  not 
Bacon  till  it  be  well  hanged"  (Bacon's  Apophthegms). 

IV.  ii.  20.  '  old  lunes  ' ;  the  Folios  and  third  Quarto  read  '  lines  ; 
the  first  and  second  Quartos  '  vaine ' ;  the  correction  is  Theo- 
bald's ;  the  same  error  occurs  in  Troilus  and  Cressida,  II.  iii.  139. 

IV.  ii.  97.  '  the  witch  of  Brentford ' ;  an  actual  personage  of 
the  sixteenth  century.  A  tract  is  extant  entitled  "  Jyl  of  Breynt- 
ford's  Testament,"  whence  it  appears  that  the  witch  kept  a  tavern 
at  Brentford ;  in  Dekker  &  Webster's  Westward  Ho  the  following 
allusion  is  found:— "I  doubt  that  old  hag  Gillian  of  Brainford 
has  bewitched  me." 

IV.  ii.  185.  '  rag/   so  Fi  F2 ;  F3  F*  '  hag,'  adopted  by  Camb.  Ed. 

IV.  iv.  43.  '  That  Falstaff  at  that  oak  shall  meet  with  us.'  After 
this  line  the  following  words  from  the  Quartos  have  been  added 
in  many  editions  : — 

"  We  '11  send  him  word  to  meet  us  in  the  field, 
Disguised  like  Home  with  huge  horns  on  his  head.'' 

IV.  iv.  58.  '  to  pinch '  probably  the  correct  reading  should  be 
*  to-pinch,'  where  *  to '  is  the  intensitive  prefix  so  common  in  old 
English,  though  it  is  possible  to  explain  it  as  the  ordinary  infini- 
tive prefix,  omitted  in  the  case  of  the  former  verb  in  the  sentence. 

IV.  iv.  84.  'Send  quickly  to  Sir  John'  Theobald  ingeniously 
suggested  "  Quickly  "  for  "  quickly." 

IV.  V.  78.  '  cozen-germans'  the  first  Quarto  reads: — 

"  For  there  is  three  sorts  of  cosen  garmombles, 
Is  cosen  all  the  Host  of  Maidenhead  and  Readings," 

where  '  garmombles  '  is  very  possibly  a  perversion  of  Mompel- 
gard;  Count  Frederick  of  Mompelgard  visited  Windsor  in  1592; 
free  post-horses  were  granted  him  by  a  passport  of  Lord  Howard. 
The  Count  became  a  "  Duke  of  Jamany "  (Wirtemberg)  in 
1593;  considerable  interest  must  have  been  taken  in  the  Duke 
about  1598.  A  letter  to  the  Queen,  dated  August  14,  1598,  is  ex- 
tant, in  which  the  following  passage  occurs : — "  I  have  heard  with 
extreme  regret  that  some  of  my  enemies  endeavour  to  calumniate 
me  and  prejudice  your  majesty  against  me.  I  have  given  them 
no  occasion  for  this.  I  hope  that  when  your  majesty  has  dis- 
covered this  report  to  be  false,  you  will  have  greater  reason  to 
continue  your  affection  towards  me,  and  give  neither  faith  nor 

141 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

credit  to  such  vipers."  In  the  year  1602  appeared  "  An  Account 
of  the  Duke's  Bathing  Excursion  to  the  far-famed  Kingdom  of 
England  "  (vide  Rye's  England  as  seen  by  Foreigners) . 

V.  V.  26.  '  bribed  buck,'  so  the  Folios ;  Theobald,  "  bribe  bank," 
adopted  by  Camb.  Ed. :  '  a  bribed  buck '  was  a  buck  cut  up  into 
portions  (Old  French  bribes  ^^  'portions  of  meat  to  be  given 
away  '). 

V.  V.  42.  'orphan  heirs.'  Theobald  suggested  "  ouphen  "  (elv- 
ish) for  "  orphan,"  and  he  has  been  followed  by  many  editors, 
but  the  change  is  unnecessary.  Cp.  "  unfather'd  heirs,"  II. 
Henry  IV.,  IV.  iv.  122. 

V.  V.  45,  47.  '  toyes ' :  Ff.  Camb.  Ed.,  toys,  evidently  to  be  read 
"  toyes,"  rhyming  with  "  oyes "  in  the  previous  line ;  similarly 
"  unswept  "  should  probably  be  "  unswep,"  suggesting  rhyme  with 
"  leap." 

V.  y.  94-96.  Cp.  Song  of  the  Fairies  in  Lyly's  Endymion. 

V.  V.  III.  'these  fair  yokes';  the  first  Folio  reads  "  yoakes," 
the  second  "  okes."  "  Yokes  "  must  refer  to  the  resemblance  of 
the  buck's  horns  to  a  yoke ;  a  sort  of  sense  can  be  got  out  of 
'oaks,'  the  antlers  resembling  the  branches  of  oaks,  but  the  first 
Folio  reading  seems  preferable. 


142 


OF  WINDSOR 


Explanatory  Notes. 

The  Explanatory  Notes  in  this  edition  have  been  specially  selected  and 
adapted,  with  emendations  after  the  latest  and  best  authorities,  from  the 
most  eminent  Shakespearian  scholars  and  commentators,  including  Johnson, 
Malone,  Steevens,  Singer,  Dyce,  Hudson,  White,  Furness,  Dowden,  and 
others.  This  method,  here  introduced  for  the  first  time,  provides  the  best 
annotation  of  Shakespeare  ever  embraced  in  a  single  edition. 

ACT  FIRST. 
Scene  I. 

13.  three  hundred  years : — Shallow  here  identifies  himself  with 
"all  his  successors  gone  before  him";  an  aristocratic  way  of 
speaking  once  common  in  England.  Washington  Allston  was 
once  the  guest  of  an  English  nobleman  who,  though  Shallow  in 
nothing  else,  said  he  came  over  with  William  the  Conqueror.  We 
are  indebted  to  Verplanck  for  this  anecdote. 

28,  29.  quarter  of  your  coat : — To  quarter  meant,  in  heraldic 
language,  to  have  armorial  bearings  as  an  appendage  to  hereditary 
arms ;  as  a  man,  by  marrying,  may  add  his  wife's  titles,  if  she 
have  any,  to  his  own.  Sir  Hugh,  who  must  still  be  talking,  mis- 
takes the  quartering  of  heralary  for  the  cutting  of  a  thing  into 
four  parts. 

49.  To  speak  small  means  much  the  same  as  what  old  Lear  so 
touchingly  says  over  his  dying  Cordelia :  "  Her  voice  was  ever 
soft,  gentle,  and  low,  an  excellent  thing  in  woman." 

114.  But  not  kissed  your  keeper's  daughter f — Scott  in  Kenil- 
zuorth  suggests  that  this  was  part  of  the  charge  made  against  the 
Poet  by  Sir  Thomas  Lucy. 

118  et  seq.  Council  and  counsel,  just  below,  are  probably  a 
quibble,  the  one  meaning  the  Star-Chamber,  the  other  being  used 
in  the  sense  of  secresy. 

204.  Michaelmas : — This  is  probably  a  blunder  on  Simple's  part 
for  Martlemas,  according  to  Hudson.  Theobald  substituted  Mar- 
tlemas,  "  not  believing  that  any  blunder  was  intended." 

143 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

304.  cock  and  pie: — This  phrase  occurs  in  several  old  plays, 
and  once  again  in  Shakespeare,  2  Henry  IV.,  V.  i.  i ;  but  its  origin 
and  import  have  not  been  satisfactorily  explained.  The  most 
likely  account  seems  to  be,  that  it  was  a  humorous  oath,  the  Cock 
and  Magpie,  having  been,  it  seems,  an  ancient  and  favourite  ale- 
house sign.  Some  think,  however,  that  cock  was  a  corruption  of 
the  sacred  name,  and  that  pie  referred  to  the  table  in  the  Roman 
service-book  showing  the  service  for  the  day. 

Scene  III. 

9.  Keisar  is  an  old  form  of  Cccsar,  the  general  term  for  an  em- 
peror ;  Kings  and  Keisars  being  a  common  phrase. 

Scene  IV. 

5.  Old  is  here  intensive,  much  the  same  as  huge;  a  common 
use  of  the  word  in  the  Poet's  time.  Thus  we  have  old  coil  in 
Much  Ado  About  Nothing. 

8.  we'll  have  a  posset: — A  posset,  according  to  Randle  Holme, 
in  his  Academy  of  Armourie,  1688,  is  "  hot  milk  poured  on  ale 
or  sack,  having  sugar,  grated  bisket,  and  eggs,  with  other  in- 
gredients, boiled  in  it,  which  goes  all  to  a  curd." 

8,  9.  soon  at  night: — Hudson  states  that  soon  at  is  a  phrase 
occurring  repeatedly  in  Shakespeare ;  as  "  soon  at  five  o'clock," 
and  "  soon  at  supper-time,"  where  it  means  about,  or  something 
akin  to  that  word. 

28.  ivarrener : — The  keeper  of  a  warren. 

165,  166.  the  next  time  we  have  confidence : — Hudson  is  of 
opinion  that  confidence  is  a  "  Quicklyism  for  conference." 


ACT  SECOND. 
Scene  I. 

52.  These  knights  will  hack: — This  is  probably  a  covert  reflec- 
tion upon  the  prodigal  distribution  of  the  honour  of  knighthood 
by  King  James.  "  These  knights  will  soon  become  so  hackneyed 
that  your  honour  will  not  be  increased  by  becoming  one." 

144 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

54.  We  burn  daylight: — A  proverbial  phrase,  derived  from 
burning  lamps  by  daylight :  "  We  waste  time." 

121.  With  liver  burning  hot: — Love,  as  the  ancients  understood 
that  passion,  was  supposed  to  establish  itself  in  the  liver. 

122.  Like  Sir  Actceon  he: — Actccon,  in  classical  mythology,  was 
a  renowned  hunter.  He  offended  Artemis  (Diana)  by  concealing 
himself  near  a  stream  in  which  she  was  bathing — thus  obtaining 
stolen  glimpses  of  her.  The  offended  goddess  transformed  Ac- 
tseon  into  a  stag  and  his  dogs  tore  him  to  pieces. 

129.  Believe  it,  Page;  he  speaks  sense : — "  Pistol,"  says  Hud- 
son, "knew  beforehand  what  Nym  was  to  tell  Page;  and  now, 
as  he  infers  from  their  talking  so  long  that  Page  is  incredulous, 
he  speaks  this  to  confirm  Nym's  tale,  and  thereby  cut  short  the 
interview." 

199,  200.  Good  even  and  twenty: — According  to  Staunton,  "an 
old  popular  salutation,  meaning  twenty  good  evenings." 

232.  with  my  long  sword: — Before  the  introduction  of  rapiers 
the  swords  in  use  were  of  enormous  length  and  sometimes  used 
with  both  hands.  Shallow  censures  the  innovation,  and  ridicules 
the  terms  and  use  of  the  rapier. 

Scene  II. 

7.  your  coach-fellow  Nym : — That  is,  he  who  draws  along  with 
you,  who  is  joined  with  you. 

II,  12.  Mistress  Bridget  lost  the  handle  of  her  fan: — Fans  were 
costly  appendages  of  female  dress  in  Shakespeare's  time.  They 
consisted  of  ostrich  and  other  feathers,  fixed  into  handles,  some 
of  which  were  made  of  gold,  silver,  or  ivory  of  curious  workman- 
ship.    Thus  in  Marlowe's  Hero  and  Leander: — 

"  Her  painted  fan  of  curled  plumes  let  fall." 

19.  short  knife  and  a  throng! — That  is,  go  and  cut  purses  in  a 
crowd.    Purses  were  then  worn  hanging  at  the  girdle. 

78,  79.  nay,  which  is  more,  pensioners : — That  is,  gentlemen  of 
the  band  of  Pensioners.  Their  dress  was  remarkably  splendid, 
and  therefore  likely  to  attract  Mrs.  Quickly.  Hence  Shakespeare, 
in  A  Midsummer-Night's  Dream,  has  selected  the  golden-coated 
cowslips  to  be  pensioners  to  the  Fairy  Queen. 

150,  151.  sent  your  worship  a  morning's  draught  of  sack  : — It 
seems  to  have  been  a  common  custom  in  taverns,  in  Shakespeare's 

145 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

time,  to  send  presents  of  wine  from  one  room  to  another  either 
as  a  memorial  of  friendship,  or  by  way  of  introduction  to  ac- 
quaintance. In  the  Parliamentary  History,  we  have  the  following 
passage  from  The  Life  of  General  Monk,  by  Dr.  Price:  "I  came 
to  the  Three  Tuns,  before  Guildhall,  where  the  general  had  quar- 
tered two  nights  before.  I  entered  the  tavern  with  a  servant  and 
portmanteau,  and  asked  for  a  room,  which  I  had  scarce  got  into 
but  wine  follozved  me  as  a  present  from  some  citizens  desiring 
leave  to  drink  their  morning's  draught  with  me." 

157.  Via,  an  Italian  word,  which  Florio  explains :  "  An  adverb 
of  encouragement,  on  away,  go  to,  away  forward,  go  on,  dispatch." 

192.  Sith: — Since. 

291,  292.  /  will  aggravate  his  style : — That  is,  /  will  add  more 
titles  to  those  he  already  has.  The  term  style  was  used  in  her- 
aldry. Thus  in  Heywood's  Golden  Age :  "  I  will  create  lords  of  a 
greater  style  " ;  and  in  Spenser's  Faerie  Queene  : — 

"  As  to  abandon  that  which  doth  contain 
Your  honour's  style,  that  is,  your  warlike  shield." 

304, 305.  Amaimon  sounds  well,  etc. : — Reginald  Scott,  in  his 
Discovery  of  Witchcraft,  may  be  consulted  concerning  these 
demons,  as  may  also  Randle  Holme,  in  his  Academy  of  Armourie. 

312.  aqua-vitcB: — Reed  states  that  Dericke,  in  The  Image  of 
Ireland,  1581,  refers  to  uskebeaghe  (or  usquebaugh,  the  same 
word  as  the  modern  whiskey),  and  in  a  note  explains  it  to  mean 
aqua-vit(e. 

Scene  III. 

59.  Mock-water: — Probably  some  allusion  to  the  doctor's  med- 
ical practice.    The  meaning  remains  obscure. 


ACT  THIRD. 
Scene  I. 

17  et  seq.  To  shallozu  rivers,  to  whose  falls,  etc. : — The  charm- 
ing pastoral  upon  which  this  burlesque  is  formed,  is  thus  referred 
to  by  Izaak  Walton  :  "  'Twas  a  handsome  Milk-maid,  that  had  not 
yet  attained  so  much  age  and  wisdom  as  to  load  her  mind  with 
any  fears  of  many  things  that  will  never  be;  but  she  cast  away 

146 


I 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

all  care,  and  sung  like  a  nightingale :  her  voice  was  good,  and  the 
ditty  fitted  for  it;  'twas  that  smoothe  song  which  was  made  by- 
Kit  Marlowe,  now  at  least  fifty  years  ago."  Walton  next  men- 
tions "  an  answer  to  it,  which  was  made  by  Sir  Walter  Raleigh 
in  his  younger  days."  The  humour  of  these  musical  snatches, 
broken  and  disordered  as  they  are  by  the  anger  and  fear  of  the 
pugnacious  parson,  is  most  rare  and  exquisite.  The  poem  by 
Marlowe,  entitled  The  Passionate  Shepherd  to  His  Love,  is  as 
follows : — 

"  Come  live  with  me,  and  be  my  love, 

And  we  will  all  the  pleasures  prove 

That  hills  and  valleys,  dale  and  field, 

And  all  the  craggy  mountains  yield. 

There  will  we  sit  upon  the  rocks, 

And  see  the  shepherds  feed  their  flocks, 

By  shallow  rivers,  by  whose  falls 

Melodious  birds  sing  madrigals : 

There  will  I  make  thee  beds  of  roses. 

With  a  thousand  fragrant  posies, 

A  cap  of  flowers,  and  a  kirtle 

Embroider'd  all  with  leaves  of  myrtle; 

A  gown  made  of  the  finest  wool. 

Which  from  our  pretty  lambs  we  pull : 

Fair  lined  slippers  for  the  cold, 

With  buckles  of  the  purest  gold; 

A  belt  of  straw,  and  ivy  buds, 

With  coral  clasps,  and  amber  studs : 

And  if  these  pleasures  may  thee  move. 

Come  live  with  me,  and  be  my  love. 

Thy  silver  dishes  for  thy  meat, 

As  precious  as  the  gods  do  eat, 

Shall  on  an  ivory  table  be 

Prepar'd  each  day  for  thee  and  me. 

The  shepherd  swains  shall  dance  and  sing, 

For  thy  delight  each  May  morning; 

If  these  delights  thy  mind  may  move. 

Then  live  with  me,  and  be  my  love." 

This  poem  is  seldom  seen  without  its  companion  piece,  already 
referred  to,  and  entitled  The  Nymph's  Reply : — 

"  If  all  the  world  and  love  were  young, 
And  truth  in  every  shepherd's  tongue, 

147 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

These  pretty  pleasures  might  me  move 
To  live  with  thee,  and  be  thy  love. 
But  time  drives  flocks  from  field  to  fold 
When  rivers  rage,  and  rocks  grow  cold, 
Then  Philomel  becometh  dumb, 
And  age  complains  of  cares  to  come. 
The  flowers  do  fade,  and  wanton  fields 
To  wayward  winter  reckoning  yields; 
A  honey  tongue,  a  heart  of  gall. 
Is  fancy's  spring,  but  sorrow's  fall. 
Thy  gowns,  thy  shoes,  thy  beds  of  roses. 
Thy  cap,  thy  kirtle,  and  thy  posies. 
Soon  break,  soon  wither,  soon  forgotten, 
In  folly  ripe,  in  reason  rotten. 
Thy  belt  of  straw  and  ivy-buds. 
Thy  coral  clasps  and  amber  studs. 
All  these  in  me  no  means  can  move 
To  come  to  thee,  and  be  thy  love. 
But  could  3'outh  last  and  love  still  breed, 
Had  joys  no  date,  nor  age  no  need. 
Then  these  delights  my  mind  might  move 
To  live  with  thee,  and  be  thy  love." 

24.  Whenas  I  sat  in  Pabylon: — The  old  version  of  the  137th 
Psalm,  which  was  drawn  upon  here,  runs : — 

"Whenas  wee  sate  in  Babylon, 
The  rivers  round  about, 
And  in  remembrance  of  Sion 
The  teares  for  griefe  burst  out." 

114,115.  you  make-a  de  sot  of  us: — "Sot,"  says  Hudson, 
"  was  much  used  in  its  French  sense  of  fool." 

Scene  II. 

30,31.  twenty  mile  .  .  .  twelve  score: — The  use  of  the  singu- 
lar for  the  plural,  especially  in  statements  of  time  and  distance, 
was  not  uncommon  in  Shakespeare's  time.  Thus  in  The  Tempest 
Prospero  says,  "  Twelve  year  since,  Miranda,  twelve  year  since, 
thy  father  was  the  duke  of  Milan." 

66.  speaks  holiday : — To  speak  holiday  means  to  speak  in  well- 
chosen  language,  or  in  a  style  above  the  common.     So  in  i  Henry 

148 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

IV.,  I.  iii.  46,  47 :  "  With  many  holiday  and  lady  terms  he  ques- 
tion'd  me  " — akhough  here  there  is  an  implied  sense  of  dandyism 
and  affectedness  of  speech. 

70.  tio  having: — That  is,  no  property  or  possessions.  So  in 
Twelfth  Night,  III.  iv.  :— 

"  My  having  is  not  much ; 
I  '11  make  division  of  my  present  with  you : 
Hold,  there  's  half  my  coffer." 

Scene  III. 

21.  eyas-musket! — A  young  sparrow-hawk,  eyas  being  a  nest- 
ling hawk,  and  musket  a  male  sparrow-hawk.  So  in  Spenser's 
Faerie  Queene, 

"  Like  eyas  hawke  up  mounts  unto  the  skies. 
His  newly-budded  pineons  to  assay;" 

and  again  in  his  Hymne  of  Heavenly  Love :  "  Ere  flitting  Time 
could  wag  his  eyas  wings." 

25.  Jack-a-Lent: — A  small  stuffed  puppet  that  used  to  be  thrown 
at  for  sport  in  Lent.  So  in  Jonson's  Tale  of  a  Tub,  iv.  3 :  "  On 
an  Ash-Wednesday,  where  thou  didst  stand  six  weeks  the  Jack  of 
Lent,  for  boys  to  hurl,  three  throws  a  penny,  at  thee." 

57,  58.  the  ship-tire,  the  tire-valiant,  etc.: — Any  fanciful  head- 
dress worn  or  approved  by  the  fashion-lovers  of  Venice.  In  how 
much  request  the  Venetian  tire  or  head-dress  was  formerly  held, 
appears  from  Burton's  Anatomy  of  Melancholy,  1624:  "Let  her 
have  the  Spanish  gait,  the  Venetian  tire." 

65,  66.  if  Fortune  .  .  .  friend : — That  is,  "  if  Fortune  were 
not  thy  foe.  Nature  being  thy  friend."  "Fortune  my  foe"  was 
the  beginning  of  a  popular  old  ballad,  wherein  were  sung  the  evils 
that  fall  upon  men  through  the  caprices  of  Fortune. 

74.  Bucklersbury  in  simple  time : — Simples  or  herbs  were  sold 
at  the  many  apothecary-shops  in  Bucklersbury;  thus  in  simple 
time  filling  the  air  with  the  fragrance  of  rosemary  and  lavender. 

80.  Counter-gate: — Counter  was  the  name  of  one  of  the  London 
prisons,  and  was  a  frequent  subject  of  jest.  Thus  Baret  in  his 
Alvearie,  1573 :  "  We  saie  merrily  of  him  who  hath  been  in  the 
Counter  or  such-like  places  of  prison.  He  can  sing  his  counter- 
tenor very  well.  And  in  anger  we  say,  I  will  make  you  sing  a 
counter-tenor  for  this  geare ;  meaning  imprisonment." 

149 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

92.  the  arras: — "In  Shakespeare's  time,"  says  Hudson,  "the 
walls  of  rooms,  even  in  the  best  houses,  were  unplastered,  and 
were  lined  with  tapestries  instead,  which  were  called  arras,  from 
the  town  of  Arras  in  France,  where  they  were  first  made.  These, 
to  keep  them  from  the  rotting-damp,  were  hung  on  frames  at 
some  distance  from  the  walls."  And  Steevens  says  :  "  The  spaces 
left  between  the  walls  and  the  wooden  frames  on  which  arras 
was  hung,  were  not  more  commodious  to  our  ancestors  than  to 
the  authors  of  their  ancient  dramatic  pieces.  Borachio  in  Much 
Ado  and  Polonius  in  Hamlet  also  avail  themselves  of  this  con- 
venient recess." 

164.  /  have  dreamed  to-night: — Meaning  last  night. 

Scene  IV. 

14.  thy  father's  wealth: — "Some  light,"  says  Singer,  "may  be 
given  to  those  who  shall  endeavour  to  calculate  the  increase  of 
English  wealth,  by  observing  that  Latimer,  in  the  time  of  Edward 
VI.,  mentions  it  as  a  proof  of  his  father's  prosperity  '  that  though 
but  a  yeoman,  he  gave  his  daughters  five  pounds  each  for  their 
portion.'  At  the  latter  end  of  Elizabeth,  seven  hundred  pounds 
were  such  a  temptation  to  courtship,  as  made  all  other  motives 
suspected.  Congreve  makes  twelve  thousand  pounds  more  than 
a  counterbalance  to  the  affection  of  Belinda." 

92,  93.  he  set  quick,  etc.: — So  in  Jonson's  Bartholomew  Fair: 
"Would  I  had  been  set  in  the  ground,  all  but  the  head  of  me, 
and  had  my  brains  bowl'd  at." 

105.  once  to-night: — That  is,  sometime  to-night.    Often  so. 

Scene  V. 

26.  /  cry  you  mercy : — That  is,  "  I  ask  your  pardon." 

28.  Chalices : — Cups. 

84.  distraction : — Hanmer  changed  this  to  direction,  and  has 
been  followed  by  some  others,  including  Hudson  (Harvard  ed.). 

108.  with  : — As  pointed  out  by  Singer,  ivith,  by,  and  of  were 
used  indiscriminately  with  much  license  by  our  ancestors.  Thus 
in  a  subsequent  passage  of  this  play  we  have :  "  I  rather  will  sus- 
pect the  sun  zvith  cold."  Detected  appears  to  have  been  used  in 
the  sense  of  suspected,  impeached.  Cavendish,  in  his  Metrical 
Visions,  has  this  very  phrase — detected  with,  for  impeached  with, 

150 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

or  held  in  suspicion  by :  "  What  Is  he  of  our  bloode  that  wold  not 
be  sory  to  heare  our  names  zvith  vile  fame  so  detected."  Detected 
must  have  the  same  meaning  here,  for  Falstaff  was  not  discovered, 
but  suspected  by  the  jealous  Ford.  Some  modern  editors  have 
unwarrantably  substituted  by  for  with. 


ACT   FOURTH. 
Scene  I. 

4.  courageous: — As  Hudson  conjectures,  outrageous. 

Scene  II. 

198.  cry  out  thus  upon  no  trail: — Terms  of  the  chase.  Trail  is 
the  scent  left  by  the  geme.  To  cry  out  is  to  open,  or  bark,  as  the 
dogs  do  when  they  find  the  trail. 

211,212.  in  fee-simple,  zvith  fine  and  recovery: — Ritson  re- 
marks upon  this  passage :  "  Fee-simple  is  the  largest  estate,  and 
fine  and  recovery  the  strongest  assurance  known  to  English  law." 
So  that  the  passage  means,  "  If  Falstaff  be  not,  to  all  intents  and 
purposes,  the  devil's,"  etc.  Commentators  have  wondered  how 
Mrs.  Page  came  to  know  so  much  of  legal  terms.  But  is  it  not 
equally  strange  that  Shakespeare's  average  characters,  in  their 
ordinary  talk,  should  speak  greater  poetry  than  any  other  poet  has 
written  ? 

212,  213.  he  will  never,  I  think,  etc. : — Hudson  says  that  this  "  is 
another  legal  phrase,  meaning,  '  he  will  never  again  attempt  to 
ruin  us,  or  to  lay  waste  our  good  name.'  " 

Scene  IV. 

2,2,.  takes  the  cattle : — Take,  meaning  to  strike  zvith  disease,  is 
frequent  in  Shakespeare.  So  in  King  Lear,  H.  iv. :  "  Strike  her 
young  bones,  you  taking  airs,  with  lameness."  "A  horse  that  is 
bereft  of  his  feeling,  moving,  or  stirring,"  says  Markham  (1595), 
"  is  said  to  be  taken,  and  in  sooth  so  he  is,  in  that  he  is  arrested  by 
so  villainous  a  disease :  yet  some  farriers,  not  well  understanding 
the  ground  of  the  disease,  conster  the  word  taken  to  be  stricken 
by  some  planet,  or  evil  spirit,  which  is  false." 

151 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

Scene  V. 

7,  8.  painted  about  .  .  .  the  Prodigal : — "  Bed-curtains  and 
tapestries,"  says  Hudson,  "  were  often  embroidered  with  figures 
from  Scripture  subjects,  such  as  the  Prodigal  Son,  Lazarus,  and 
others.    Shakespeare  has  divers  allusions  to  them." 

10.  Anthrop ophaginian  : — Man-eater  or  cannibal.  Mine  Host 
uses  these  fustian  words  to  astonish  Simple. 

70.  Doctor  Faustuses : — Dr.  Faustus,  the  German  magician,  had 
acquired  a  new  celebrity  through  Marlowe's  play. 

Scene  VI. 

41.  quaint  in  green  : — Quaint  here  means  neat,  tasteful,  graceful, 
with  the  idea  of  being,  not  fantastic,  but  elegantly  fancied  or 
conceived. 

ACT  FIFTH. 
Scene  I. 

25.  life  is  a  shuttle : — An  allusion  to  Job,  vii.  6 :  "  My  days  are 
swifter  than  a  weaver's  shuttle/' 

Scene  V.  ^ 

15-17.  Send  me  a  cool  .  .  .  tallow: — This  is  technical.  It  is 
explained  by  aid  of  Turberville's  Book  of  Hunting,  1575  :  "  During 
the  time  of  their  rut  the  harts  live  with  small  sustenance. — The 
red  mushroome  helpeth  well  to  make  them  pysse  their  greace, 
they  are  then  so  vehement  in  heat." 

20-24.  Let  the  sky  rain  potatoes,  etc. : — The  sweet  potato  was 
used  in  England  as  a  delicacy  long  before  the  introduction  of  the 
common  potato  in  1586.  It  was  supposed,  as  also  #as  the  eringo, 
to  be  an  aphrodisiac. 

28.  the  fellow  of  this  walk : — The  keeper  of  this  park  or  portion 
of  the  forest.  The  shoulders  of  the  buck  were  among  his  per- 
quisites. 

43.  quality : — Profession,  or  function. 

47,  49.  Where  iires  thou  Und'st  unraked,  etc. : — This  office  of 

152 


OF  WINDSOR  Notes 

the  ancient  fairies  appears  to  have  been' quite  a  favourite  theme 
with  poets.    Thus  in  Drayton's  Nymphidia : — 

"  These  make  our  girls  their  sluttery  rue, 
By  pinching  them  both  black  and  blue, 
And  put  a  penny  in  their  shoe, 

The  house  for  cleanly  sweeping." 

So  also  in  an  old  ballad  entitled   The  Merry  Pranks  of  Robin 
Goodfellow,  sometimes  attributed  to  Ben  Jonson : — 

"  When  house  and  harth  doth  sluttish  lye, 
I  pinch  the  maidens  black  and  blue ; 
The  bed-clothes  from  the  bedd-pull  I, 
And  lay  them  naked  all  to  view." 

And  again  in  the  ancient  song  of  the  Fairy  Queen : — 

"  And,  if  the  house  be  foul 

With  platter,  dish,  or  bowl. 

Up  stairs  we  nimbly  creep. 

And  find  the  sluts  asleep: 
There  we  pinch  their  arms  and  thighes; 
None  escapes,  nor  none  espies. 

But  if  the  house  be  swept. 

And  from  uncleanness  kept, 

We  praise  the  household  maid, 

And  duely  she  is  paid : 
jt  For  we  use  before  we  goe 

To  drop  a  tester  in  her  shoe." 

54.  Raise  up  the  organs  of  her  fantasy : — Fantasy,  according  to 
Hudson,  "  here  stands  for  sensual  desire,  the  *  sinful  fantasy '  re- 
proved afterwards  in  the  Fairies'  Song."  Clarke  gives  a  different 
explanation,  making  the  passage  mean,  "  exalt  her  imagination  by 
pleasant  dreams." 

56.  But  those  as  sleep : — As  and  that  were,  in  the  time  of 
Shakespeare,  used  interchangeably. 

65.  With  juice  of  balm,  etc. : — It  was  a  practice  with  people 
of  luxury  to  rub  furniture  with  aromatic  herbs,  in  order  to 
give  it  a  sweet  smell.  Pliny  informs  us  that  the  Romans  did  so 
to  drive  away  evil  spirits.  "  Perhaps,"  adds  Hudson,  "  they  found 
that  penny-royal  would  keep  off  mosquitoes." 

83.  middle-earth : — Johnson  says  that  "  spirits  are  supposed  to 
inhabit  the  ethereal  regions,  and  fairies  to  dwell  underground; 

153 


Notes  MERRY  WIVES 

men  therefore  are  in  a  middle  station."     Often  used  in  this  sense 
by  old  writers. 

1 7 J.  aitliction  : — After  this  speech  the  following,  in  accordance 
with  Theobald's  decision,  usually  has  been  added  from  the  Quar- 
to :— 

Mrs.  Ford.  Nay,  husband,  let  that  go  to  make  amends ; 
Forgive  that  sum,  and  so  we'll  all  be  friends. 

Ford.  Well,  here  's  my  hand ;  all 's  forgiven  at  last. 

204.  postmaster's  hoy : — Here  too,  following  Steevens,  many 
have  inserted  the  following  from  the  Quarto : — 

Evans.  Jeshu !  master  Slender,  cannot  you  see  but  marry  boys? 
Page.  O,  I  am  vex'd  at  heart!    What  shall  I  do? 

232.  evitate  : — Avoid. 

243.  When  night-dogs  run,  etc. ; — Here  again  we  commonly 
have  a  line  added  from  the  Quarto :  "  Evans.  I  will  dance  and  eat 
plums  at  your  wedding."  Malone  says  that  Falstaff  alludes  to 
Fenton's  having  just  run  down  Anne  Page.  "  Falstaff,"  says 
Clarke,  "  here  takes  a  final  chuckle  over  those  who  have  defeated 
his  pursuit  of  the  dear  merry  wives,  by  showing  them  that  their 
dear  daughter  has  been  caught  by  the  man  who  was  not  their 
choice,  but  hers." 


154 


OF  WINDSOR 

Questions   on 
The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor. 


1.  At  whose  request  is  this  play  said  to  have  come  into  exist- 
ence? 

2.  What  relation  in  time  do  the  events  here  depicted  bear  to 
those  of //^wr^' /F.?  ^ 

ACT  FIRST. 

3.  With  what  note  does  the  play  open? 

4.  With  what  trait  uppermost  is  Slender  first  presented? 

5.  What  is  first  said  of  Anne  Page?    Of  Master  Page? 

6.  Mention  some  of  Sir  Hugh  Evans's  verbal  peculiarities. 
Compare  him  with  Fluellen  in  Henry  V. 

7.  What  contemporary  of  Shakespeare  is  supposed  to  be  satir- 
ized in  this  Act? 

8.  How  do  Falstaff  and  his  companions  meet  the  charges  of 
Shallow  and  Slender? 

9.  What  dramatic  purpose  is  effected  by  the  short  scene  with  the 
three  women? 

10.  Who  proposes  the  match  between  Slender  and  Anne  Page? 
Why  does  he  wish  to  foster  it? 

11.  What  subtle  observation  of  nature  does  Shakespeare  show 
in  the  scene  between  Anne  Page  and  Slender?  Is  it  a  great  art 
to  make  a  dull  person  interesting? 

12.  What  new  stage  in  the  subordinate  intrigue  does  Sc.  ii. 
introduce?    What  new  character  is  presented  and  how  described? 

13.  Why  was  Falstaff  glad  to  be  rid  of  Bardolph?  To  what 
extent  was  Falstaff  not  averse  to  stealing? 

14.  What  is  the  intrigue  which  Falstaff  proposes,  and  what  is 
the  counter-action?  What  motive  is  established  for  this  counter- 
action? Why,  at  the  close  of  Sc.  iii.,  do  Nym  and  Pistol  speak  in 
verse  ? 

155 


Questions  MERRY  WIVES 

15.  Why  are  Rugby's  qualities  set  forth?  What  trait  of  Mrs. 
Quickly  is  here  illustrated? 

16.  State  the  complication  of  the  intrigue  involving  Anne  Page, 
Sir  Hugh,  Mrs.  Quickly,  Dr.  Caius,  and  Fenton  as  active  par- 
ticipants.   Whose  side  does  Mrs.  Quickly  take? 

ACT  SECOND. 

17.  This  Act  presents  what  picture  of  middle-class  morality? 

18.  What  internal  facts  determine  the  social  status  of  the 
audience  for  which  the  play  was  intended? 

19.  Who  informs  Ford  of  Falstaff's  purposes? 

20.  What  tag  of  speech  does  Nym  always  carry  about  with  him? 
What  is  its  satirical  import? 

21.  Does  Nym  seem  more*  of  a  caricature — like  many  of  Dick- 
ens's people — than  a  character? 

22.  What  saved  Page  from  suspicion  of  his  wife? 

23.  Mention  a  certain  modern  type  of  character  satirized  in 
the  Host. 

24.  What  touches  of  real  Falstaffian  humour  in  the  dialogue  in 
Sc.  ii.  between  the  knight  and  Pistol? 

25.  What  is  the  office  of  Mrs.  Quickly  in  the  main  intrigue? 

26.  How  does  Ford,  disguised  as  Brook,  persuade  Falstaff  to 
accede  to  his  designs? 

27.  Does  Falstaff  here,  as  in  all  cases  in  Henry  IV.,  cover  his 
retreat  with  humour? 

28.  Contrast  the  jealousy  of  Ford  with  that  of  Othello.  Why 
is  not  Ford  a  tragic  figure? 

29.  Is  Dr.  Caius  a  character  of  comedy  or  of  burlesque?  Com- 
pare him  with  Evans  in  his  power  of  provoking  mirth. 

ACT  THIRD. 

30.  Describe  the  state  of  mind  of  Evans  at  the  opening  of  the 
first  Scene.     What  situation  in  modern  comedy  resembles  this? 

31.  How  does  the  Host  act  as  pacificator?    What  is  his  reward? 

32.  Define  the  state  of  mind  of  Slender  during  the  progress  of 
the  first  Scene. 

2,3.  How  does  Mrs.  Page  add  to  the  jealousy  of  Ford? 

34.  What  was  Page's  objection  to  Fenton  as  a  suitor  for  Anne? 

35.  Had  Falstaff  any  trusty  followers?  How  did  Robin  deceive 
him? 

156 


OF  WINDSOR  Questions 

S6.  What  impression  does  Sir  John  make  as  a  lover?  Is  it 
possible  that  a  man  of  his  intellect  could  have  been  so  played 
upon? 

37.  Where  is  the  climax  of  the  drama? 

38.  What  does  Page  say  as  Falstaff  passes  him,  as  the  latter 
is  carried  out  concealed  in  the  buck-basket?  How  does  Falstaff 
later  describe  the  scene? 

39.  How  do  Sir  Hugh  Evans,  Dr.  Caius,  and  Mrs.  Ford  com- 
ment on  the  jealousy  of  Ford? 

40.  Why  are  the  practical  jokes  at  Falstaff's  expense  continued? 

41.  Does  Fenton  recommend  himself  to  you  as  a  fit  suitor  for 
"Sweet  Anne  Page"?    How  does  he  justify  his  position? 

42.  What  effect  of  contrast  is  secured  in  the  fourth  Scene? 
How  is  it  shown  that  the  choice  of  lovers  really  lies  between  two? 

43.  Is  Anne  a  romantic  figure?  If  so,  why  is  not  her  love-affair 
treated  romantically?  How  would  you  describe  the  animating 
spirit  of  this  Scene? 

44.  What  determining  influence  has  the  principal  intrigue  upon 
the  manner  of  treatment  of  the  subordinate  one? 

45.  What  redeems  Falstaff  from  the  ignominy  of  the  ducking, 
as  evidenced  in  Sc.  v.? 

46.  How  is  the  interview  between  Falstaff  and  Ford,  with  which 
the  Act  closes,  justified  from  a  dramatic  point  of  view? 


ACT  FOURTH. 

47.  Is  there  episodic  value  in  Sc.  i.? 

48.  Is  it  good  art  in  Shakespeare  to  make  the  second  scene  of 
Falstaff  at  Mrs.  Ford's  follow  so  closely  on  the  lines  of  the  first? 

49.  How   is  it  saved  from  bathos?     Wherein  resides  the  real 
comedy  of  the  Scene? 

50.  In  what  way  does  Sc.  iii.  connect  itself  with  the  plot  of 
the  play? 

51.  Describe  the  plot  that  is  laid  for  the  third  punishment  of 
Sir  John. 

52.  Is  anything  indicated  as  to  the  belief  in  witches  and  fairies 
in  the  England  of  this  period? 

53.  How  are  the  two  intrigues  brought  together  into  the  same 
channel? 

54.  Is  there  any  reason  in  nature  why  Page  should  not  have 
been  as  jealous  of  his  wife  as  Ford  was  of  his? 

157 


Questions  MERRY  WIVES 

55.  Did  the  difference  of  the  Pages,  man  and  wife,  over  the 
marriage  of  their  daughter  ever  amount  to  enmity? 

56.  In  what  way  is  Mistress  Prat  of  Brentford  made  to  assume 
an  integral  part  in  the  plot?  What  effect  of  retrospect  is  gained 
thereby  ? 

57.  Why  is  Nym  the  one  singled  out  for  reference? 

58.  What  subsequent  parts  in  the  action  do  Pistol  and  Bardolph 
play? 

59.  Recount  the  episode  of  the  German  impostors?  For  what 
does  this  episode  prepare? 

60.  What  effect  of  reality  is  gaified  by  the  introduction  of  ele- 
ments but  remotely  allied  to  the  main  action? 

61.  How  does  this  imposture  of  the  Germans  furnish  a  back- 
ground for  Falstaff's  reflection  in  the  fifth  Scene? 

62.  Compare  the  account  of  his  second  discomfiture  that  Fal- 
staff  gives  to  Dame  Quickly  with  the  account  of  the  first,  delivered 
to  Ford.  Is  the  citadel  of  his  conceit  feeling  assaults  made 
upon  it? 

ACT  FIFTH. 

63.  State  the  reason  that  led  Falstaff  to  venture  his  fortunes  for 
the  third  time. 

64.  What  classical  comparisons  does  he  plume  himself  with? 

65.  What  effect  is  there  in  the  transition  from  this  to  the  fear 
of  the  fairies? 

66.  Indicate  the  sort  of  penitence  that  disgrace  stirred  in  Fal- 
staff.   In  what  quarter  did  he  chiefly  fear  disclosures? 

67.  How  did  Anne  Page  and  Fenton  outwit  the  whole  company? 


68.  Why  is  so  much  of  this  comedy  written  in  prose?     What 
parts  are  in  verse;  and  what  is  the  content  of  such  passages? 

69.  Is  the  real  Falstaff  of  Henry  IV.  to  be  seen  in  this  play? 

70.  What  are  some  of  the  characteristics  that  are  distinctively 
his,  and  when  are  these  prominent  in  this  play? 

71.  Does  the  play  furnish  enough  of  the  real  Falstaffian  humour 
to  offset  the  feeling  of  injustice  done  to  the  fat  knight  of  Henry 

IV. -i 

72.  Compare  respectively  the  Nym,  Pistol,  and  Bardolph  of  this 
and  the  earlier  play. 

158 


OF  WINDSOR  Questions 

TZ'  Compare  Slender  with  Sir  Andrew  Aguecheek  {Twelfth 
Night).    Which  is  the  more  delightful? 

74.  Was  Slender  an  unsuitable  husband  for  Anne  Page?  Your 
opinion  of  Page  and  of  the  reasons  why  he  encouraged  the  suit 
of  Slender. 

75.  Will  Fenton  probably  spend  her  money  and  then  desert 
Anne?     What  may  be  expected  from  his  antecedents? 

y6.  What  traits  of  character  do  you  find  in  the  two  "merry 
wives"?    What  in  Mrs.  Quickly? 


IS9 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA-LOS   ANGELES 


L  009  978  300  3 


